Today's Funny

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Three Jokes I created for my Gandkids, but have worked with adults, and yes, I enjoy corny jokes.

What do you get when you cross a cocker spaiiel with a rooster?
A very confused bird dog.:mrgreen:

What do you get when you cross a begale with cotton-tail rabbit:
A dog that can't stop chasing it's cotton tail.:LOL:

What do you get when you cross a deep stream with a mountain bike?
Wait for it...................wet!:ROFLMAO:

Seeeeeeya; Chief Longwind of the North
 
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I would post this under "Petty Vents" but I think it more appropriately goes here.

Our local NBC television station has got to be the most elementary and poorest in the nation when it comes to capability.

During a report a couple of months ago the anchor reported a story about a sizeable vehicle accident on the nearby interstate highway. There were a number of injuries and a few casualties. Names of the dead were disclosed and, at one point, the anchor commented that after the collision, Mr. John Doe stated that he was dead. He WAS dead since he was listed in sentences earlier that he was one of the victims. Glenn and I just shook our heads

But, last night's 10 p.m. news just rocked the boat. There'd been a house fire where the single occupant/owner was found dead inside. So far, so good.

However, since we live in a somewhat rural area, homes aren't necessarily elbow-to-elbow next to each other. The on-site reporter stated that no one sought to help because the home could only be seen if one was either walking or driving by it. Hmmmm? What else does that leave? Aircraft of some sort, drone, submarine?

The station has had multiple cutbacks and, now, the anchors and reporters are responsible for writing, proofing and editing their own copy. Whoa! They have a long way to go.

And...don't even let me get started on spelling and grammatical errors. Some of the "crawling" alerts across the bottom of our screen look like a child did them after failing a spelling test.
 
I would post this under "Petty Vents" but I think it more appropriately goes here.

Our local NBC television station has got to be the most elementary and poorest in the nation when it comes to capability.

During a report a couple of months ago the anchor reported a story about a sizeable vehicle accident on the nearby interstate highway. There were a number of injuries and a few casualties. Names of the dead were disclosed and, at one point, the anchor commented that after the collision, Mr. John Doe stated that he was dead. He WAS dead since he was listed in sentences earlier that he was one of the victims. Glenn and I just shook our heads

But, last night's 10 p.m. news just rocked the boat. There'd been a house fire where the single occupant/owner was found dead inside. So far, so good.

However, since we live in a somewhat rural area, homes aren't necessarily elbow-to-elbow next to each other. The on-site reporter stated that no one sought to help because the home could only be seen if one was either walking or driving by it. Hmmmm? What else does that leave? Aircraft of some sort, drone, submarine?

The station has had multiple cutbacks and, now, the anchors and reporters are responsible for writing, proofing and editing their own copy. Whoa! They have a long way to go.

And...don't even let me get started on spelling and grammatical errors. Some of the "crawling" alerts across the bottom of our screen look like a child did them after failing a spelling test.

Glad my mom isn't still alive to see that. She was the General Manager's assistant years ago. It's a high pressure job. She used to come home some days telling us that she couldn't even go to the bathroom without 1 of the secretaries coming to get her because of some crisis.
 
I would post this under "Petty Vents" but I think it more appropriately goes here.

Our local NBC television station has got to be the most elementary and poorest in the nation when it comes to capability.

During a report a couple of months ago the anchor reported a story about a sizeable vehicle accident on the nearby interstate highway. There were a number of injuries and a few casualties. Names of the dead were disclosed and, at one point, the anchor commented that after the collision, Mr. John Doe stated that he was dead. He WAS dead since he was listed in sentences earlier that he was one of the victims. Glenn and I just shook our heads

But, last night's 10 p.m. news just rocked the boat. There'd been a house fire where the single occupant/owner was found dead inside. So far, so good.

However, since we live in a somewhat rural area, homes aren't necessarily elbow-to-elbow next to each other. The on-site reporter stated that no one sought to help because the home could only be seen if one was either walking or driving by it. Hmmmm? What else does that leave? Aircraft of some sort, drone, submarine?

The station has had multiple cutbacks and, now, the anchors and reporters are responsible for writing, proofing and editing their own copy. Whoa! They have a long way to go.

And...don't even let me get started on spelling and grammatical errors. Some of the "crawling" alerts across the bottom of our screen look like a child did them after failing a spelling test.

I wonder if John Doe notified his next of kin of his demise.
 
A classic Dad joke if I ever heard one:

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family." :LOL:

Seeeeeeya; Chief Longwind of the North
 

That's how all spas work for me. Can't stand the heat of a sauna. Don't want anyone kneading, or walking on my back (kneading is for bread dough:LOL:0. Don't want someone smearing goop all over my face. Don't want cucumbers over my eyes.

I just want to go fishing! And so does Fido. Get that dog out of that sink and give him a fishing pole.:LOL:

Seeeeeeya; Chief Longwind of the North
 
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