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Old 05-07-2013, 10:21 AM   #4041
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A tourist couple was visiting Canada by car. They stopped in a smallish city and asked a passerby where they were.

"Saskatoon, Saskatchewan."

Mabel, they don't speak English. (Saskatoon is the capitol of province, Saskatchewan.)
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Old 05-07-2013, 09:46 PM   #4042
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Time for some Blonde Dude Jokes !

A blonde man shouts frantically into the phone
"My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.
"No", he shouts, "this is her husband!"


A blonde man's dog goes missing and he is frantic.
His wife says "Why don't you put an ad in the paper?"
He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing.
"What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks.
"Here boy!" he replies.


A blonde man is in jail. Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.
"Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging myself," the blonde replies.
"It should be around your neck" says the guard.
"I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe".


A blonde man goes to the vet with his goldfish.
I think it's got epilepsy," he tells the vet.
The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me".
The blonde man says, "Wait, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet".


An Italian tourist asks a blonde man: "Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"
To which the blonde man replies: "If they fell forward, they'd still be
in the boat
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Old 05-07-2013, 09:47 PM   #4043
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Cat Alarm Clock

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Old 05-07-2013, 10:03 PM   #4044
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsLMB View Post
Time for some Blonde Dude Jokes !

A blonde man shouts frantically into the phone
"My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.
"No", he shouts, "this is her husband!"

A blonde man's dog goes missing and he is frantic.
His wife says "Why don't you put an ad in the paper?"
He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing.
"What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks.
"Here boy!" he replies.

A blonde man is in jail. Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.
"Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging myself," the blonde replies.
"It should be around your neck" says the guard.
"I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe".

A blonde man goes to the vet with his goldfish.
I think it's got epilepsy," he tells the vet.
The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me".
The blonde man says, "Wait, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet".

An Italian tourist asks a blonde man: "Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"
To which the blonde man replies: "If they fell forward, they'd still be
in the boat
I've met guys like this! They do exist!
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Old 05-08-2013, 12:15 AM   #4045
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsLMB View Post
Time for some Blonde Dude Jokes !

A blonde man shouts frantically into the phone
"My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.
"No", he shouts, "this is her husband!"


A blonde man's dog goes missing and he is frantic.
His wife says "Why don't you put an ad in the paper?"
He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing.
"What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks.
"Here boy!" he replies.


A blonde man is in jail. Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.
"Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging myself," the blonde replies.
"It should be around your neck" says the guard.
"I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe".


A blonde man goes to the vet with his goldfish.
I think it's got epilepsy," he tells the vet.
The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me".
The blonde man says, "Wait, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet".


An Italian tourist asks a blonde man: "Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"
To which the blonde man replies: "If they fell forward, they'd still be
in the boat
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Old 05-08-2013, 12:15 AM   #4046
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsLMB View Post
Cat Alarm Clock

That is great!
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Old 05-08-2013, 04:08 PM   #4047
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Old 05-08-2013, 05:18 PM   #4048
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I can relate to this. When I lived in Tacoma, there was a total eclispe of the sun around 9 am. Some genius after sold cans of Eclispe Darkness. And he cleaned up. The directions on the can were to never open the can or they would lose the darkness. The cans were empty.
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Old 05-08-2013, 05:55 PM   #4049
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From Takei:

Attachment 17858
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Old 05-08-2013, 06:48 PM   #4050
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