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Old 08-24-2013, 09:10 AM   #4801
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The Ostrich

A young man walked into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.

The waitress asked them for their orders.

The man said, "A hamburger, fries and a coke."

She turned to the ostrich. "What's yours?" she asked the ostrich.

"I'll have the same," said the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returned with the order. "That will be $9.40, please." And the man reached into his pocket and pulled out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich came again and the man said, "A hamburger, fries and a coke."

The ostrich said, "I'll have the same."

Again the man reached into his pocket and paid with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two entered again. "The usual?" asked the waitress.

"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad," said the man.

"Same," said the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brought the order and said, "That will be $32.62."

Once again the man pulled the exact change out of his pocket and placed it on the table.

The waitress could not hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?"

"Well," said the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" said the waitress. "Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"

"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," said the man.

The waitress asked, "What's with the ostrich?"

The man sighed, paused and answered, "My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say."
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Old 08-24-2013, 09:10 AM   #4802
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Old 08-24-2013, 03:30 PM   #4803
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And if you play on DC you're not bothering anyone when you spend hours in the kitchen whipping up the recipes the members post! I've acquired menu ideas, skills and weight in the last few months...
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Old 08-25-2013, 11:35 AM   #4804
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Old 08-25-2013, 03:12 PM   #4805
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Old 08-25-2013, 04:02 PM   #4806
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Quote:
Originally Posted by taxlady View Post
I can't breathehelp....
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Old 08-25-2013, 05:26 PM   #4807
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True story I forgot to share on Friday: I was doing my weekly big grocery shopping, spending what Himself considers an inordinate amount of time in produce (which is why I don't take him shopping...). A family of 4 was shopping, the younger (about 3) son walking with his mom and the older (maybe 6-ish?) boy sitting in a second cart, being pushed by his dad. I noticed them because the older boy was scream-crying like crazy, like a spoiled child does when they can't get what they want. After a couple of minutes the crying shut off as if someone had flipped a switch. When I looked over at the family I thought it might be possible the older boy had some sort of issue, some sort of "capital letter" condition (ADD, ASD, some sort of developmental delay issue) by the way he was behaving and the way the dad was dealing with him. It was obvious that the mom knew they could be in for a very long shopping trip, since she didn't have much in the cart yet. Just then, she asked the younger boy what his favorite vegetable was. "Chocolate!" the boy piped up! The mom said "chocolate isn't a vegetable" and started to laugh so hard I thought she would pop - you know the kind of laugh, just when the nervous tension gets so bad you NEED that kind of relief? Then she looked around to see if anyone had noticed. Duh! I was laughing too and said "cocoa is a bean, beans are vegetables, I don't see a problem with his logic!" Later when we were passing each other I smiled at her and said "sometimes they just know when to say the right thing" and she nodded and smiled. Perfect timing on the younger son's part - little did he know he probably rescued the rest of the shopping trip.
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Old 08-25-2013, 05:37 PM   #4808
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Children have more wisdom than we give them credit for.
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Old 08-25-2013, 07:55 PM   #4809
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Makes me think of something Beagle might do.
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Old 08-25-2013, 08:24 PM   #4810
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LOL!!!
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