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Old 11-25-2013, 04:01 PM   #5251
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Makes all women sound needy and bossy and all men like jerks. Neither is true.

"If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe." -Carl Sagan
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Old 11-25-2013, 04:03 PM   #5252
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Originally Posted by Andy M. View Post
Makes all women sound needy and bossy and all men like jerks. Neither is true.
Heh. What in this thread is true?

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later you're hungry again. ~ George Miller
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Old 11-25-2013, 05:15 PM   #5253
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GotGarlic ----

Yeah, pretty good!
I resurrected an old post (another forum far, far away) that I'd written in reply to the friend that posted Men's Rules. BTW---- I'm female, so I totally agree with your version.

[KDN means Knuckle Dragging Neanderthal]

KDN suggested ****It's time for you to write up Women's Rules, if there are any.***

Yes, dear KDN, there are plenty of Women's rules.

It's just that they constantly shift and change, appear and disappear, like
Brigadoon, depending on just which man or KDN is involved.

The good thing about that--- is we never have to adhere to the same ole, same ole Rules, like KDN's do because they (KDNs) are limited in scope and ability.

Let the Games Begin

Dear KDN, Esq.

In keeping with the Global War Between the Sexes these "Rules" shall henceforth be designated as "Women's Edicts"; thereby establishing our might and superiority at the onset.

This is a Zero-Sum event

Live with it!

Edict # 1

This Edict and all future Edicts can be edited or amended or dismissed at any
time depending on the time of month, a bad hair day or just for the joy, glee
and bliss of it.

Live with it!

Edict # 2

Do not try to discern a reason for any of these Edicts. They are here for a
reason, but can change willy-nilly at a Woman's discretion.

Edict # 3

Do not look for Victory. That is unattainable for Men OR KDNs

If Men THINK they have attained Victory, it is a figment of their imagination.
Testosterone has been proven, in many double-blinded studies, to be responsible for Mens false perception of their superiority.

Something to do with the amygdala, I think, or some organ.

Edict # 4

Women may, in their all-knowing way, seem to defer to Men. That is part of the battle plan, rather like a flanking maneuver and guarantees that Men will not score "anything".

Edict # 5

Tomorrow Edict # 5 may become Edict # 3.

Live with it!

Now that the basic, but still unfinished, ground rules are uttered, I shall go
on to publish some more specific Edicts.

Edict # 6

“NO” is NOT a word, when uttered alone. Many years of observing KDNs have shown that they use the word “no” didactically, hoping to preclude any intelligent and bilateral discussion about a subject.

Interestingly, it is most often used when they are wrong about a subject.
Perhaps a polarity between their brain and another organ?

Edict # 7

KDNs shall never EVER come up behind a Woman who is standing at the stove, putting the final touches on a Sauce Bearnaise for a dinner party, hair
perfectly in place, dressed to the nines and start “foolin’ around”.

If the KDN shall do that---he is not to be dismayed by a 6 inch stiletto heel
jammed down on his toes.

If he should have to go to the ER, then he shall ask a friend down at the local
pool hall to drive him, NOT the Woman.

Edict # 7

“YES” is also NOT a word, when uttered alone.

Men mistakenly believe that by seeming to agree with Women that said agreement will be forgotten in a day or so.

They’re basing that notion on faulty evidence; e.g. how short their attention
span is, e.g. VERY short.

Men might do better by using more words after the word Yes.

1. Yes, you’re right dear. How silly of me to not realize that.

2. Yes, I’m glad you brought that up. I’ll try to remember it.

3. Yes, I promise to always pick up after myself.

4. Yes, you may remind me if I forget that I agreed.

…..thereby reinforcing in their minds that they DID utter “Yes”.

Edict # 65

This Edict is issued at this point in order for Men to have sufficient time to
study it since it’s an advanced topic. There will be a test later.

Acknowledging that Men have a problem with communication, this Edict will start with teaching Communication via Email and progress to Communication in Vivo.


1. Communication is not to be considered the same as a soliloquy or monologue.
That applies to Email communication as well as In Vivo.

2. In the Cyber-World if a question is posed in Email #1 then it’s expected that the Reply Email will answer or at least acknowledge the question and
“communicate” (hence the name of this course).

In the interest of KISS those two sub-sections will suffice for now.

In the Remedial Class (for KDNs) more time will be allowed. Even though
Communication via Email involves just two numbers (Zero and One) this concept seems to prove difficult for KDNs.
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Old 11-25-2013, 06:29 PM   #5254
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Old 11-25-2013, 08:57 PM   #5255
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Old 11-25-2013, 09:07 PM   #5256
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If you don't like the food, have more wine!
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Old 11-25-2013, 09:24 PM   #5257
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Old 11-26-2013, 09:41 AM   #5258
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I hope that people won't think that my post (Women's Rules, yesterday) was directed at anyone here.

It was just a joke and it was one that I'd written to a close friend with whom I enjoyed a joking and exchange of friendly ''insults'.

Maybe this explanation wasn't needed---- but that''s all it was.
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Old 11-26-2013, 09:44 AM   #5259
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Originally Posted by MrsLMB View Post
LOL! Family of six, here.
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” - Albert Einstein
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Old 11-26-2013, 09:53 AM   #5260
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Family of three here, but then Stirling is twice as big as me.

May you live as long as you wish and love as long as you live.
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