BEER AND THE WHEEL
The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel.
Beer required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture.
Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.
The wheel was invented to get man to the beer and vice versa.
These two were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
1. Doers
2. Takers
Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Doer movement.
Other men who were less skilled at hunting (called “vegetarians” which was an early human word meaning “bad hunter”) learned to live off the Doers by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hairdressing. This was the beginning of the Taker movement.
Some of these Taker men “evolved” into women. Others became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy Taker achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that Doers provided.
Modern Takers like special-flavored beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine spritzers or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: many Taker women have higher testosterone levels than their men.
Most college professors, social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, film makers in Hollywood, group therapists and community organizers are Takers. Takers meddled in our national pastime and invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.
Doers drink real beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Takers are big game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, airline pilots, and generally anyone who works productively.
Doers who own companies hire other Doers who want to work for a living.
Takers produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Takers believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans so that is why most of the Takers remained in Europe when Doers were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.
Here ends today's lesson in world history. It should be noted that a Taker may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to this post.
A Doer will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be shared immediately to other true believers and to just pi$$-off more Takers.
And there you have it. Let your next action reveal your true self, I'm going to grab a few beers and grill some steaks! Right after I forward this message.
And then mostly to send soup to my across-the-street neighbor. I bet you wish we were neighbors now. 
