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Old 01-10-2015, 04:42 PM   #6511
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For those of you who are worried about how your eating and drinking habits affect your risk of heart attacks, here's the final word on nutrition and health.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats ad suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
6. Swedes eat lots of chocolate yet suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
7. British, Irish and Scots drink lots of alcohol and have similar heart attack rates as Americans.

THE INESCAPABLE CONCLUSION:
Eat and drink whatever you want. Speaking English is what causes heart attacks.

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Old 01-10-2015, 04:46 PM   #6512
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I knew it!
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Old 01-10-2015, 05:51 PM   #6513
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Dawg...I've never heard that before and got a kick out of it!

Andy, makes sense to me! LOL, I loved that.
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Old 01-10-2015, 10:24 PM   #6514
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Tres bien, Andy. Merci beaucoup!
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Old 01-10-2015, 11:27 PM   #6515
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Originally Posted by Cooking Goddess View Post
Tres bien, Andy. Merci beaucoup!
De nada.
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Old 01-12-2015, 01:03 PM   #6516
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Dawg,
That is sooo old! It was originally done about a W.C. Water closet (toilet) and was interpreted as to a Wayside Chapel.
Jack Paar quit the tonight show many years ago because they would not let him tell that joke.
Let me tell all of you that my Souschef has me rolling my eyes daily over the old jokes he tells me. He remembers every single one he ever heard. Tiz a curse I tell ya!
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Old 01-12-2015, 05:35 PM   #6517
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Let me tell all of you that my Souschef has me rolling my eyes daily over the old jokes he tells me. He remembers every single one he ever heard. Tiz a curse I tell ya!
All you can do is be thankful he remembers things
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Old 01-12-2015, 07:04 PM   #6518
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All you can do is be thankful he remembers things
Amen to that!! He has a mind like flypaper. I often tell him he needs a delete key.
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Old 01-12-2015, 09:49 PM   #6519
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I love old, silly, eyeroll jokes from loved ones.
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Old 01-13-2015, 12:10 AM   #6520
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Okay...this is a true story.

I had gotten out of bed, at some point I had put on my glasses, but I was unable to read something so moved them to the top of my head. When I got done with what I was messing with I opened my glasses case and they were not there. They were not on the nightstand or on the bed. I hollered for Shrek, and he couldn't find them either. Just as he turned to go get a stronger flashlight, I put my hand up to push my hair back. I told Shrek to stop and look at me. He's still laughing his butt off.

Later was looking for one of the cats, asked Shrek to check to see if she was on my head.
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