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Old 01-13-2015, 01:11 AM   #6521
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PrincessFiona60 View Post
Okay...this is a true story.

I had gotten out of bed, at some point I had put on my glasses, but I was unable to read something so moved them to the top of my head. When I got done with what I was messing with I opened my glasses case and they were not there. They were not on the nightstand or on the bed. I hollered for Shrek, and he couldn't find them either. Just as he turned to go get a stronger flashlight, I put my hand up to push my hair back. I told Shrek to stop and look at me. He's still laughing his butt off.

Later was looking for one of the cats, asked Shrek to check to see if she was on my head.
Lowrdy truth is often stranger than fiction.....and the beat goes on....
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Old 01-13-2015, 01:36 AM   #6522
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I do that regularly. Often there are no other humans here to share my laughter with when I do that, but I'm pretty sure I've seen my cat roll his eyes and snicker at me.
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Old 01-13-2015, 12:51 PM   #6523
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Today's Funny

ROFL! Glad you discovered them, PF!

Here's one for the working ladies:

Name:   ImageUploadedByDiscuss Cooking1421171479.704221.jpg
Views: 130
Size:  125.4 KB
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Old 01-13-2015, 05:53 PM   #6524
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Snicker, snort, chortle!!! Good one, Dawg, and so very true!!!
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Old 01-13-2015, 06:18 PM   #6525
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I knew what my priorities were!
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Old 01-13-2015, 07:50 PM   #6526
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I knew what my priorities were!
+1,Dawg!
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Old 01-14-2015, 06:00 AM   #6527
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I watched a documentary on tv last night, it was called 'How They Built the Titanic.'




It was riveting.......
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Old 01-14-2015, 06:31 AM   #6528
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Originally Posted by Wyshiepoo View Post
I watched a documentary on tv last night, it was called 'How They Built the Titanic.'
It was riveting.......
Ah nice try....you got it from Stewart Francis - "I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting!"

Here's some other oneliners of his you might like:-

"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that."

"I dedicate this show to my dad who was a roofer. So dad, if you're up there...."

I quit my job at the helium gas factory. I didn't like being spoken to in that voice."

"I wrote a book about a transsexual with a speech impediment. It's called Man or Myth."

"I want to donate a large amount of money to a rape clinic and I won't take no for an answer."

"There are two types of people I hate .... racists and Norwegians."

"Standing in the park, I was wondering why a frisbee looks larger the closer it gets...then it hit me"

"I went to a Karaoke Bar last night that didn't play any 70s music, at first I was afriad, oh I was petrified"

"My dad has a wierd hobby he collects empty bottles, which sounds so much better than alcoholic"

"My girlfriend say's that I'm afraid of committment....well she's not my girlfriend...more a wife"

"Crime in a multi storey car park....that's just wrong...on so many levels..."
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Old 01-14-2015, 08:19 AM   #6529
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Ha ha, love 'em.


Actually got it from a friend, maybe he got it from Stewart Francis?


What about, I applied for a new position in our Seoul head office, I thought it would be a good Korea move.
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Old 01-14-2015, 09:21 AM   #6530
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Groan.
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