Today's Funny

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Skittle68 said:
+1 I HATE HATE HATE junk mail!!

Sales calls too. I've been getting this recorded sales call saying they have great news about my credit card account, but I've never had a credit card...

I get that same call a lot. I have credit cards but I would never answer to these calls!!!
 
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Ah ha ha ha ha... That was my orange kitty's mama. She used to go CRAZY for catnip!! Catnip is related to mint, so she would rub her face up against yours and try to get to your mouth when you're brushing your teeth too. It was so cute!

My orange kitty and his mama:



View attachment 15335


Boy I miss her... Another rescue. She was already older when I got her, so we only got to have her for 6 years.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
One of my favourite urban legends.

A young woman was in line for the lift at the ski hill. She had to pee, but it was a long line and she was already more than halfway. She figured she would use the facilities at the chalet at the top of the hill. It just got worse. By the time she was on the lift and near the top her back teeth were floating. She got off the lift and saw some bushes. She dashed over to the bushes, planted her ski poles, pulled down her trousers and the skis took off.

She was now heading down the slope with no ski poles and her trousers around her ankles. She was picking up speed, as one does when skiing crouched down. She was starting to panic. She couldn't use the beginner method of slowing down: just drag your bum. So, eventually, she tipped herself sideways and came to a stop. She was bruised and scraped and the Ski Patrol brought her to the first aid station.

There was a young man being patched up. He was pretty badly injured. He had skied into a tree and had broken several bones. When asked what happened he said, "I didn't see the tree because I was watching some b***h who was mooning me."

They rode to the hospital in the same ambulance.
 
I just got this from my mummy-in-law:
(Four worms and a lesson to be learned !!!)
mail

A Minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.
Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good, clean soil.
At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:
The first worm in alcohol ...

Dead.
mail

The second worm in cigarette smoke

...

Dead.
mail

The third worm in chocolate syrup

...

Dead.
mail

The fourth worm in good, clean soil

...Alive.
So the Minister asked the congregation, "What did you learn from this demonstration?"
Maxine was sitting in the back and quickly raised

her hand and said,
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"As long as you drink, smoke, and eat chocolate, you won't have
worms!"
That pretty much ended the service !!​
 

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