Today's Funny

[Skittle68]

View attachment 17376

Exactly!! Lol!

I'm working two serving jobs- one for lunch shift, and one for dinner shift for the next 4 days. 40 hours of serving in 4 days, and I might just be closer to what my drivers license says! I'm putting in my two weeks at the one place, and I'm on spring break, so I have time. That's why the double duty.

 

[Skittle68]

If you walk in to work an hour late, just walk in with a smile and a big hello. Pretend there is nothing amiss and the boss will probably think he forgot that you told him you were going to be an hour late.....

~Wisdom from my sister

 

[Addie]

I completely overslept one morning. So when I finally called work, I told them I started to call in sick, but twice each time I started to dial, I had to throw up and I didn't think they wanted to hear that while I was on the phone. It worked. They bought it.

 

[MrsLMB]

Windows Frozen

Wife texts husband on a cold winter's morning:
"Windows frozen, won't open."

Husband texts back:
"Gently pour some cold tapwater over it."

Wife texts back 5 minutes later:
"Computer really screwed up now"

 

[MrsLMB]

Jeff Gordon

Pepsi MAX & Jeff Gordon Present: "Test Drive" - YouTube

 

[Zhizara]

Thanks!!!, MrsLMB. Hilarious!

 

[jharris]

Jeff Gordon

Pepsi MAX & Jeff Gordon Present: "Test Drive" - YouTube

Sorry but in this case an acronym will not suffice... lmao!!!!

It would have been better with Danica.

After all she's "just a girl"

I'd bet she'd have made the salesman wet himself.

Hilarious!!!!!!!

 

[jharris]

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&...1338691&qsubts=1363212046960&q=danica+patrick

 

[PrincessFiona60]

“I just started the Dr. Doolittle
Diet. That’s where you don’t
eat food. You just talk to it.”
— Lisa Pedace

 

[taxlady]

 

[CWS4322]

 

[CWS4322]

Had to share:

 

[CWS4322]

And this one:

 

[jharris]

I've got news for you Beatrice. Arthur is long gone.

Eeek!!!

 

[Somebunny]

Had to share:

Lol! Lmao! Hilarious! The kitty one is cute too!

 

[Kylie1969]

Had to share:

That is so funny

 

[Kylie1969]

ROFL

 

[taxlady]

Had to share:

Ow! Ow! Ow! and Ow!

 

[Kylie1969]

Windows Frozen

Wife texts husband on a cold winter's morning:
"Windows frozen, won't open."

Husband texts back:
"Gently pour some cold tapwater over it."

Wife texts back 5 minutes later:
"Computer really screwed up now"

 

[tinlizzie]

Sent the booby trap one to my 40-something DIL, who pronounced it awesome. I'm going with TL's ow, ow, ow.