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Old 05-05-2005, 02:27 PM   #1
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Top 8 Morons

And some people dare to call me a dumb blonde!!


1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President John Walter
after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a
$26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, CA spent two
hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his
home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the
man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come
out and give yourself up."

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped
a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller
machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own
bank accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for
all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so
he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours
until police showed up and grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery
suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives
asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money
or I'll shoot", the man shouted, "That's not what I said!".

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??? A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My
wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart". "Is
this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is
her husband!"

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King
was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a
weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun... Unfortunately,
he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)!

8. THE GRAND FINALE!!! Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the
high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating,
were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get
their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every
maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of
trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone
there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check
revealed everything in Wperfect working condition. The engine ran fine,
the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and
pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath.
He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.

NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE. Under the boat, still strapped securely in
place, was the trailer!


"Treat everyone with politeness,even those who are rude to you - not because they are nice, but because you are."
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Old 05-05-2005, 02:37 PM   #2
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LOL Thanks Crewsk! I needed a good laugh today. These were great!

You know you can't resist clicking
this link. Your eyes will thank you. VISUAL BLISS
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Old 05-05-2005, 02:57 PM   #3
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LOL! I love people who make me feel smart! Thanks for the giggles.
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on. Robert Frost
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Old 05-05-2005, 05:56 PM   #4
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omg people are dumb !!
it's just scary knowing how
dumb they REALLY are !!!
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Old 05-05-2005, 05:59 PM   #5
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thanks crewsk, I needed that.
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Old 05-05-2005, 06:59 PM   #6
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After dropping a huge tote with tons of meds at work today, then,banging my head on an open drawer as I got up, and spilling them again, this makes me feel almost SMART

HEAVEN is Cade, Ethan,Carson, and Olivia,Alyssa,Gianna
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Old 05-06-2005, 11:03 AM   #7
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Thank You crewsk now if you have sent those cookies I will have the perfect day!
If you need a smile, take mine, I'll make a new one.
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Old 05-15-2005, 09:38 PM   #8
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That was the best stuff I have read in AGES!!!

Thanks for the laughs!!

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