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Old 04-07-2005, 04:38 PM   #1
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What Parents Learn From Kids

This is a personal favourite of mine.

WHAT PARENTS LEARN FROM KIDS
  • Always look in the oven before you turn it on -- plasic toys do not like ovens.
  • There is no such thing as child-proofing your house.
  • If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
  • A 4 year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
  • If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Pound Puppy underwear and a Superman cape.
  • It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.
  • Baseballs make marks on ceilings.
  • You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
  • When you use the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.
  • A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
  • The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
  • When you hear the toilet flush and the words Uh-oh, it's already too late.
  • Brake fluid mixed with Chlorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
  • A 6 year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
  • A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.
  • If you use a watebed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does not leak - it explodes.
  • A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep.
  • Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old; Duplos will not.
  • Plah-Doh and microwave should never be used in the same sentence.
  • Super-glue is forever.
  • McGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know.
  • Ditto Tarzan.
  • No matter how much Jello you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
  • Pool filters do not like Jello.
  • VCRs do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
  • Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
  • Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise while driving.
  • You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
  • The fire department in San Diego has at least a 5 minute response time.
  • The spin cycle on the washine machine does not make earth worms dizzy. It will however make cats dizzy.
  • Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
  • Quiet does not necessarily mean don't worry.
  • Nail polish does not make good face paint.
  • A good sense of humor will get you through most problems in life (mostly in retrospect).

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Old 04-07-2005, 04:58 PM   #2
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Quote:
A 4 year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
Whenever there is a screaming child in the shopping mall.....I turn and head the other way.
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Old 04-07-2005, 09:27 PM   #3
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lmao these are great
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Old 04-07-2005, 09:32 PM   #4
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Thanks! I sent a copy to my Son & DIL - my GD is nearing a year!


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Old 04-07-2005, 09:34 PM   #5
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Quote:
Super-glue is forever.
Please don't remind me!!
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Old 04-07-2005, 09:48 PM   #6
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My favourite was a dizzy cat throws up twice its body weight.
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Old 04-08-2005, 07:18 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crewsk
Please don't remind me!!
Apparently superglue was designed during the Viet-war to stick together broken soldiers. (ie- cuts gashes wounds) which is why the best thing it always sticks together is your fingers.
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Old 04-08-2005, 07:43 AM   #8
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ChefWhite, when my 5yr. old was about 2 1/2 she suger glued herself to the kitchen floor! Her toes on both feet were stuck together. I got her taken care of but that glue was on the floor to stay!
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Old 04-08-2005, 08:25 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crewsk
ChefWhite, when my 5yr. old was about 2 1/2 she suger glued herself to the kitchen floor! Her toes on both feet were stuck together. I got her taken care of but that glue was on the floor to stay!
Woah.. that must have been pretty scary at the time. but I guess its proof positive that super glue is forever!
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Old 04-08-2005, 08:37 AM   #10
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Yes it was! But I can laugh about it now. My son was 5 at the time & he tried to take the super glue away from her & the little push pin top got stuck to his thumb. Luckly I have an aunt who is an RN & I called her. She said to use ice to harden the glue & it would crack to release my daughters toes & then use acetone nail polish remover to help loosen it some more & peel it off her skin. What I couldn't get off her just had to wear off.
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