your intro reminded me of some old jokes.
once, there were three guys hanging around drinking beer: a guy from north wales, an american, and a scot. suddenly, a swarm of bugs buzzed past with a fly landing in each of the guys' beers.
very calmly and with modest style, the welshman simply poured off the top of his beer to rid it of the fly.
the american neatly flicked the fly off of his beer, and continued to drink the rest.
but the scot grabbed the fly by the throat, exclaiming, "spit it out ya wee fecker and get your own!!!"
my sister just adopted a mutt from the shelter. she said it was a purebred scottish terrier.
when i asked how she knew, she said the dog doesn't bark, it bairrrks