Humm ... Austin, TX ... "... a local very busy grocery, much like Whole Foods... " sounds like Central Market maybe?
If you are going to go the "cubed" meat/cheese party tray then definitely some crackers: Ritz, water crackers, Triscuits, etc.
If you go with a sliced meat/cheese platter then some nice breads like rye, pumpernickel, Italian/French loaf, and a whole wheat.
Off the top of my head, for the meats you have mentioned, the cheeses that first come to my mind would be: provolone, munster, swiss.
For condiments: Hellman's mayo, a good stone ground mustard, maybe a horseradish sauce.
Naw - I don't think your or your Dad are weird in the least. I grew up on that stuff.
"It ain't what you don't know that gets you in trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so." - Mark Twain