Behaving doesn't mean you can't be a smart-aleck!
You just can't tell me how stupid you think I am
Around here you can buy packaged slices of country ham. It's usually near the deli area and is a rack unto itself that has country ham and fat back. A whole country ham is a LOT of ham
And for goodness sake, don't do what a lot of people do - they throw it away because they think it's bad when it arrives. Yes, it will be covered in green "stuff" - you just cut it away and voila - lovely country ham underneath. But seriously, unless you really need a whole country ham see if you can find the packaged slices.