Well, ya see, you young pups, back just about the time writing was invented, (And no, I didn't invent it. My cousin did.) and just after I invented the axle that made the wheel useful, I had an idea to make this bowl-shaped cooking device to stir-fry foods in. So I got a big piece of granite, and took my hammer and chisel and started chipping away at the problem... Ahahahaha, hohoho, chipping away at the problem, get it? Ahem, you aren't laughing. Something's wrong with your brain.
Anyways, I fashioned this great granite bowl that measured three feet across (I used a yeti foot. They're really big), and 2 foot deep. The granite bowl was three inches thick, and polished as smooth as glass, so as to be non-stick. I'm tellin' ya, it was a real bugger to get onto that wok ring, and make it stay put. That thing was heavy! So, after placing my granite wok onto the ring, and over my roaring fire, I threw in some mastodon meat, diced into half-inch cubes of course. There were a few cans of water chestnuts in the cave, along with some leeks that DW picked back in the swamp. Now I have to say a good word about DW right here. She had to outrun a sabertooth, and a pack of baboons to bring back those leeks. Whata woman.!
Anyways, all was going well. The wild herbs were smelling so good with the mastodon and leeks, and other greens. But alas, I made the fatal error. I added cold cornstarch slurry to my granite wok. The instant that cold liquid it that hot granite, the durned thing exploded. It's a wonder we weren't all killed. The force of that explosion was sufficient to agravate the Earth's crust, and the rocky mountains were formed right before our eyes. But my stir fry was ruined.
So, in reference to this thread, don't use a granite wok. They just don't hold up, though they are great fun to plunk down on BT's head as a winter hat.
I haven't spun a good yarn in a while. That was fun.
Seeeeeya; Chief Longwind of the North