Larry, It sounds to me you have more of a service pet peeve then a coffee pet peeve.
The server is only doing what they are instructed to do.
That is making sure the customer has all the coffee they want at no additional cost.
If you had added something like sugar or lemon to your water would you feel the same if they wanted to top off your water?
As many have pointed out. All you need to do is express your feelings to the server that your cup/glass is full enough and problem solved.
And since the thread drifted towards how folks like and think about java I'll spew my idiotic opinions.
I used to drink a pot of coffee in the morning before heading off to work.
IMHO black is the only way to go.
You'll never be disappointed if you don't have it and miss C&S if you drink it black.
Once in a Blue Moon as a treat a scoop of Ice Cream is a great desert java treat.
Different flavors of Ice Cream make it interesting.
I've roasted my own beans and used to always buy whole beans and ground my own.
Was never satisfied with most java ordered out but some places did serve what I liked.
Now I look at it as it's all about the roast and grind you personally like. Then it should be brewed to the strength you personally like.
A lot of dislike of coffee is due to the strength of the brew as opposed to the flavor of the bean or brewing method.
And don't forget the additives. Put in it what you like. I'm not much of a Starbucks supporter but they would be no where if it wasn't for the additives.
That's what I learned from my java past.
Now I only make coffee on the weekends.
Don't ask me why.
And I don't buy whole beans anymore or search for that bean or roast I must have.
Now a days I buy the pre ground java that's on sale and brew it to the strength I like at the temp I like to brew it at.
Some say that the best cup of Joe is the one you have with folks enjoy being around.
I'll have to agree with that statement even though I'm one of those people that no one wants to be around and I'm happy not being around others.