Boiling the jars for 10-minutes isn't necessary unless the recipe calls for sterilized jars, and they are processed in the boiling water canner for less than 10-minutes after filling. There are a few recipes for jams/jellies like this in the Blue Book.
Heating the jars to 180-F for 10 minutes before using does two things, it sanitizes them (kills up to about 99% of bacteria, and airborn molds and yeasts) - and it heats the glass to prevent breakage from thermal shock when you add the hot ingredients to them.
This is all covered in the section on Equipemt Preparation under Jar Preparation. Just follow the instructions and you will be fine.
This is what I do:
I put one jar filled with water into the canner and add enough hot tap water to cover buy at least 1 inch - and turn the heat on high. I then wash the jars, fill them with hot tap water, and add to the canner pot. When the pot comes to a boil, I let it go for a minute or two, then reduce the heat to low, cover, and proceed with my cooking.
You are right - you do not want to boil the lids. Just follow the instructions in the book and you will be fine.
"It ain't what you don't know that gets you in trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so." - Mark Twain