crewsk
Master Chef
>> >NUDITY
>> >I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when
>> >a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark
>> >naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from
>> >the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!
>> >HONESTY
>> >My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd
>> >dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in
>> >the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my
>> >bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with
>> >charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it
>> >fell in the toilet a few days ago.
>> >OPINIONS
>> >On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a Note
>> >from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by these
>> >children are not necessarily those of his parents."
>> >KETCHUP
>> >A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar.
>> >During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter
>> >to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her
>> >mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you
>> >right now. She's hitting the bottle."
>> >MORE NUDITY
>> >A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's
>> >locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with
>> >ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in
>> >amazement and then asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever seen a
>> >little boy before?"
>> >ELDERLY
>> >While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
>> >shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoo n rounds.
>> >The various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and
>> >wheelchairs, unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at a
>> >pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the
>> >inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The
>> >tooth fairy will never believe this!"
>> >DRESS-UP
>> >A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw
>> >her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that
>> >suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a
>> >headache the next morning."
>> >SCHOOL
>> >A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just
>> >wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write
>> >and they won't let me talk!"
>> >BIBLE
>> >A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he
>> >fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the
>> >Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old
>> >leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I
>> >found", the boy called out." What have you got there, dear?" With
>> >astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's
>> >underwear."
>> >
>> >
>> >Find a smile in every face,love in every heart, and sunshine in every
>> >day.
>> >I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when
>> >a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark
>> >naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from
>> >the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!
>> >HONESTY
>> >My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd
>> >dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in
>> >the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my
>> >bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with
>> >charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it
>> >fell in the toilet a few days ago.
>> >OPINIONS
>> >On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a Note
>> >from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by these
>> >children are not necessarily those of his parents."
>> >KETCHUP
>> >A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar.
>> >During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter
>> >to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her
>> >mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you
>> >right now. She's hitting the bottle."
>> >MORE NUDITY
>> >A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's
>> >locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with
>> >ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in
>> >amazement and then asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever seen a
>> >little boy before?"
>> >ELDERLY
>> >While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
>> >shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoo n rounds.
>> >The various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and
>> >wheelchairs, unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at a
>> >pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the
>> >inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The
>> >tooth fairy will never believe this!"
>> >DRESS-UP
>> >A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw
>> >her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that
>> >suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a
>> >headache the next morning."
>> >SCHOOL
>> >A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just
>> >wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write
>> >and they won't let me talk!"
>> >BIBLE
>> >A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he
>> >fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the
>> >Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old
>> >leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I
>> >found", the boy called out." What have you got there, dear?" With
>> >astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's
>> >underwear."
>> >
>> >
>> >Find a smile in every face,love in every heart, and sunshine in every
>> >day.