Is chivalry dead?

[amber]

Ok, without mentioning the show I saw this on today, I liked this topic because I do indeed like to see men being courteous towards women. I like having the door held open for me, etc. I find it quite surprising when a man actually lets me go ahead of him while walking in a door way, holding the door for me. I do the same for men and elderly actually.

So I for one would like to see more of this, more courtesy, politeness. Call it old fashioned if you want, but I think it's just nice.

 

[middie]

I do too Amber. It would be nice if the bf did things like that for me once in awhile. I think
it's rather sweet when I see it.

 

[Clutch]

Hmmm, I guess I shouldn't come in here and tell you how I treat my GF?



Yes, Chilvary is dead and it was killed by women. Point in case, Women claim that they want a good man, a nice man. When they find this "good" or "nice" man, they automatically want a "bad" man. Like the Fonz. A guy who smokes camels, rides a harley and wears a leather jacket. Therefore, the "good" guys go out and change themselves to be the "bad" guys so they can get the girls.

Hey! I've seen it more then a dozen times!

But seriously, another part of the problem is men don't teach their sons to be that way. I know too many guys who have wives and kids and spend their weekends at strip joints. It's sad. My children will be chilvarious.

 

[Andy M.]

I'm old enough to remember that doing things like holding doors open for women, opening their car doors for them, standing when they enter a room, etc. was considered part of being a 'gentleman'.

When the woman's movement came along, I was no longer a gentleman but a male chauvinest pig for doing the same things.

That didn't make me change. I still do those things.

When my SO and I recently had dinner with another couple, the guy chided me for making him look bad by opening the car door for my SO.

 

[pdswife]

I don't think it's dead... it's just well hidden these days. It's there, you just have to look for it.


And good for you Clutch! That's a good thing to hear.

 

[amber]

By all means clutch, I welcome your, as well as everyones opinion on this topic.

Clearly me and so far Middie as well, agree on this topic.

 

[candelbc]

It's not dead, but it is rare..

I was raised to respect other people and try to be as courteous as I can. That means holding the doors for all strangers, and assisting someone when they are in need. Sometime that need is obvious and sometimes it's not.

My wife and I have been together for 5 years, and I am proud of the fact that she still has never had to open the car door for herself. I know she can handle it, but I enjoy treating her in this way..

Essentially, Sarah deserves to be spoiled absolutely rotten. In attempt to not sound incredibly "corny", I work very hard every day to give her another reason to smile. And with a smile like hers, it's all the reward I need..

As for courteousness, it's just a matter of the society. Those with the trait are fewer and far between. A simple thank you, or "Yes sir/maam" is not difficult.

I heard a great quote about this topic, but I'll be darned if I can remember it..



-Brad

 

[amber]

I'm old enough to remember that doing things like holding doors open for women, opening their car doors for them, standing when they enter a room, etc. was considered part of being a 'gentleman'.

When the woman's movement came along, I was no longer a gentleman but a male chauvinest pig for doing the same things.

That didn't make me change. I still do those things.

When my SO and I recently had dinner with another couple, the guy chided me for making him look bad by opening the car door for my SO.

I love that Andy, holding the door, and opening the car door, standing up when we enter the room. Lovely, I am glad you didnt change!

 

[amber]

It's not dead, but it is rare..

I was raised to respect other people and try to be as courteous as I can. That means holding the doors for all strangers, and assisting someone when they are in need. Sometime that need is obvious and sometimes it's not.

My wife and I have been together for 5 years, and I am proud of the fact that she still has never had to open the car door for herself. I know she can handle it, but I enjoy treating her in this way..

Essentially, Sarah deserves to be spoiled absolutely rotten. In attempt to not sound incredibly "corny", I work very hard every day to give her another reason to smile. And with a smile like hers, it's all the reward I need..

As for courteousness, it's just a matter of the society. Those with the trait are fewer and far between. A simple thank you, or "Yes sir/maam" is not difficult.

I heard a great quote about this topic, but I'll be darned if I can remember it..



-Brad

Good point, yes she can open the car door for herself, but you just do it for her because it's nice, thats great.

 

[sattie]

Yes, Chilvary is dead and it was killed by women.

I remember Dave Chappelle saying that...LOL!! I'm not so sure I agree, I think in general, people have become more self centered and rude. What ever happened to holding the door open for someone walking in right behind you???? I can't tell you how many times a women and men alike are so self absorbed that they can't wait a few seconds to kindly hold the door. Or... do it for someone else and they walk right by like you were suppose to hold the door for them. I guess I have always been taught to be kind and courteous to all.

But miss Amber, I do like it when men treat us like a lady, I have to give my hubby *snaps* for that... he still holds the door, opens the door, puts me first even tho I don't deserve it!

 

[sattie]

I'm old enough to remember that doing things like holding doors open for women, opening their car doors for them, standing when they enter a room, etc. was considered part of being a 'gentleman'.

When the woman's movement came along, I was no longer a gentleman but a male chauvinest pig for doing the same things.

That didn't make me change. I still do those things.

When my SO and I recently had dinner with another couple, the guy chided me for making him look bad by opening the car door for my SO.

Bravo Andy!!!

 

[Andy M.]

This brings me to a pet peeve.

You're approaching a building and there is a person ahead of you who opens the door and stands there holding it and waiting for you. If you're a step or two behind, that's nice. Sometimes, they do it when you are 20-30 feet away. You feel obligated to hurry so the person doesn't have to stand there holding the door. I have a knee that bothers me from time to time and when it does, I feel no inclination to hurry.

Anyone else experience this?

 

[Clutch]

I have yelled (nicely, it was more of a grumble) at my GF for grabbing the door by herself. Her reply was, "I'm a big girl, I can do it." LOL!!!

When we go out to the mall or a store, I make sure to let her in the car first when we get out and hold any doors for her, plus bags and other things. We went shopping last night and I carried all of the bags in, even tho she was carrying nothing more than her purse. I have actually smacked myself in the head with doors trying to open them before she does.

I'll admit, I don't do it 100% of the time, but I do it a lot. There are times when I just have to remember, she is a big girl and can take care of herself. I won't race her to the door just to open it, but it doesn't stop me from trying!

 

[sattie]

This brings me to a pet peeve.

You're approaching a building and there is a person ahead of you who opens the door and stands there holding it and waiting for you. If you're a step or two behind, that's nice. Sometimes, they do it when you are 20-30 feet away. You feel obligated to hurry so the person doesn't have to stand there holding the door. I have a knee that bothers me from time to time and when it does, I feel no inclination to hurry.

Anyone else experience this?

I don't have sore knees... , but when this has happened, I always hurry up for them. Andy, I say take your time and thank them for their kind gesture... I think people appreciate being appreciated ya know?

 

[sattie]

I have yelled (nicely, it was more of a grumble) at my GF for grabbing the door by herself. Her reply was, "I'm a big girl, I can do it." LOL!!!

When we go out to the mall or a store, I make sure to let her in the car first when we get out and hold any doors for her, plus bags and other things. We went shopping last night and I carried all of the bags in, even tho she was carrying nothing more than her purse. I have actually smacked myself in the head with doors trying to open them before she does.

I'll admit, I don't do it 100% of the time, but I do it a lot. There are times when I just have to remember, she is a big girl and can take care of herself. I won't race her to the door just to open it, but it doesn't stop me from trying!

Clutch.. I have seen the pic... I know she's got ya wrapped!!! LOL!

 

[Clutch]

This brings me to a pet peeve.

You're approaching a building and there is a person ahead of you who opens the door and stands there holding it and waiting for you. If you're a step or two behind, that's nice. Sometimes, they do it when you are 20-30 feet away. You feel obligated to hurry so the person doesn't have to stand there holding the door. I have a knee that bothers me from time to time and when it does, I feel no inclination to hurry.

Anyone else experience this?

Yes, I also have a knee that bothers me. Both actually. I usually go with a heat pad or that Icy hot pro care brace with the hot packs. Works wonders!







But seriously, I will go out of my way to hold the door for several minutes for an elderly couple or person even after they say "Go ahead" 20 times. I don't mind. I do it cause I just hope someone will be there to do the same for me when I get to that point. If you were behind me and I was to hold the door for you, I wouldn't want you to rush. If I'm holding the door for you, it's cause I want to, not cause I feel obligated.

I've let the door slam on people before. this guy was being extremely rude to his GF/wife in the parking lot of IHOP and I held the door for her and as soon as she got in I let it go. It kinda closed on the side of the guys head. Oops.

 

[amber]

I have yelled (nicely, it was more of a grumble) at my GF for grabbing the door by herself. Her reply was, "I'm a big girl, I can do it." LOL!!!

When we go out to the mall or a store, I make sure to let her in the car first when we get out and hold any doors for her, plus bags and other things. We went shopping last night and I carried all of the bags in, even tho she was carrying nothing more than her purse. I have actually smacked myself in the head with doors trying to open them before she does.

I'll admit, I don't do it 100% of the time, but I do it a lot. There are times when I just have to remember, she is a big girl and can take care of herself. I won't race her to the door just to open it, but it doesn't stop me from trying!

It's a matter of being nice, but if she doesnt like you to do that, then dont do it. I find it very nice, cordial.

 

[Clutch]

She does, believe me. She's just got to be a PITA about it sometimes. If she wants to open the door herself, fine. My biggest problem is two sets of doors. You know, you open the first oen and before you can get your hand on the second, she's all the way thru! Stupid malls!!!!!!

 

[corazon]

I think Andy and Clutch have summed it up nicely. My kids will learn it too. dh does it for me because he knows that I like it. He gets a nice kiss each time too. After having Callum and carting around two kids, I was always very surprized by someone opening the door for me.

My mil practically demands it from her husband. Sometimes he'll forget to open her cardoor and go in the house without her. She'll just sit in the car until he remembers. lol.

 

[SizzlininIN]

Ok...I grew up and never saw my dad hold the car door open for my mom but I know when entering a store or buiding he did hold the door for her, us and anyone else who was entering a building. My sons do open the doors and even my 7 year old will say, "After you".

Clutch.......I admit whole heartedly that I was totally attracted to the bad boys at one point but then I grew up. My DH holds the door for me and offers his hand and does many things that are gentlemanly and I love it..... however, there are times at that time of the month... when the sheer sweetness and caring makes me want to close the door and open it myself...LOL! But honestly I'm an independent woman.....not as much as I was though....but I've choosen to let loose of some of that because I have come to love to rely on a man. Granted I'm 40 and it too me 28 years to get to that point. But being the age I am now makes me appreciate all that I have because of what I've had.

I believe now that good comes to those that share good. I'll hold that door for the next person. If they are a ways away and tell me its ok then I'll honor their request. When I go to the store and have to deposit that 25 cents in the cart just to get a cart....when I leave and unload my items I'll approach the person heading for the cart section and offer them my cart and they extend that quarter to me and say, "Here you go"..... I smile and say, "Have a nice day"....so chivalry works both ways in some aspects. The world would be a better place if we all tried to show some kindness and love at least once a day to someone we don't know . Okay, okay I won't break into the song "Love makes the world go around".....