Ever feel like a snob...

[PastaKing]

Do you ever feel like a snob when a friend invites you over for dinner? We have these friends who can't cook. They invite my wife and I over for diner, but it's always boxed food, or out of a microwave, or worse, jar pasta sauce or jar Alfrado sauce. This one time they tried to cook chicken but it was so dry!

They are coming over tomorrow for dinner. I can't help but think now they feel like they need to have US over.


I feel like such a snob. I talk to my wife about it, but she just laughs.
You guys ever feel this way?

 

[MexicoKaren]

I don't know that I would call it snobbery, but it amazes me how many of my women friends do not cook. Let me add that I am of retirement age, and many of my female contemporaries burned their cookbooks along with their bras in the 70s. They came of age somehow believing that learning to cook was giving in to some male chauvinist plot. NOT - learning to cook is a prerequisite for EATING. (Let me also add that I am proud to call myself a feminist, and I spent my pre-retirement life in a high-powered profession.) But I love to eat, and I love to cook. Most of our friends eat out several times a week because they simply can't cook. They enjoy coming over to our house to eat because it is usually the best food they have eaten in awhile. I guess I do sound a little like a snob after all...oops.

 

[Maverick2272]

I don't think it is being a snob, if the food aint good then it just aint good. But maybe another angle might be to suggest a group cooking situation where you all get together and cook the meal together.
This way you might 'teach' them a thing or two about cooking hopefully, which in turn might improve their food and get them more enthusiastic about cooking.

 

[PastaKing]

I don't think it is being a snob, if the food aint good then it just aint good. But maybe another angle might be to suggest a group cooking situation where you all get together and cook the meal together.
This way you might 'teach' them a thing or two about cooking hopefully, which in turn might improve their food and get them more enthusiastic about cooking.

Good idea, but when I cook, I cook alone. That is MY area, and I don't teach unless they ask.

gee......I AM a snob

 

[Fisher's Mom]

Sadly, until this last year, I was the friend who couldn't cook. But at least I knew it and generally, if I had people to dinner I would pick up the main course from a restaurant and supplement with fresh fruits, salads and the like (stuff I couldn't screw up). I also have some friends who I had a great arrangement with - I would buy the food (whatever they specified), they would cook, and I would do all the clean up. It worked great and happily, now I can even cook for them.

 

[Barbara L]

One of my friends can't cook, and when we have eaten at her house (generally boxed stuff), she is so apologetic the whole time that I just appreciate the effort she does make. And when I go home I thank God that my mom was a great cook and taught me how.

Barbara

 

[Fisher's Mom]

One of my friends can't cook, and when we have eaten at her house (generally boxed stuff), she is so apologetic the whole time that I just appreciate the effort she does make. And when I go home I thank God that my mom was a great cook and taught me how.

Barbara

I knew I liked you, Barbara!

 

[miniman]

This is why I enjoy the cooking lessons I do for teenagers. My major aim is that they are equipped to go out on their own and at least have a basic knowledge of cooking. Especially when they are students & young adults on a tight budget.

I go out to friends as much for the company as anything else. The food may not be great but the company is. We also have a reputation for our meals so no one turns down an invite from us.

 

[Claire]

Oh, yes. Most of my friends love to cook, but occasionally I have been invited to dinner as you describe. Now I have to tell you, I'm a big believer in short cuts when they are available. I cannot pretend to make everything from scratch. But mostly I feel sorry for those I know who only can open a can and can't quite figure out a new microwave oven (hey, I just bought a new one and am learnin different times myself).

I really pity people who cannot take care of themselves, be it cooking a decent meal, sewing on a button, or for pity's sake, bathing any thing in their house (to include your own body, your spouse's when you get that old, your dogs and cats)

 

[auntdot]

Gosh PK, you have opened up a can of worms for me.

Toss any of us into a wilderness and the two things we will try to find are shelter and food. Those are the fundamental issues of life.

Cooking, and eating meals together, as a family or group, was a custom until recently.

My sister and I were not taught to cook, we learned from watching Mom and Pop.

Now there is day care and places like that.

And Mom and Dad bring in take out.

How children today can learn the most basic of survival skills, i.e. cooking, I have no idea.

I hope I am over reacting.

 

[LadyCook61]

I learned to cook by watching my mom , I taught my sons to cook , in fact they are better cooks than their wives. not being biased . Even hubby agrees.

 

[JGDean]

My mother hated to cook. My sister and I both liked it. Part of the conditions of getting spending money growing up was cooking dinner for the family as my mother worked outside the home. My grandma was an excellent cook although growing up in WVa she added bacon fat to nearly everything. I learned to cook by reading and trial and error. Two things I learned: cumin is not good in tuna salad and Mashed Potatoes do not come out well in a food processor unless you like eating wall paper glue.

 

[middie]

Pk why don't you suggest a potluck next time they invite you over ?

 

[Andy M.]

SO's sister is in the, "Can't cook, don't want to cook, won't cook" category. We eat before we go for a visit and agree we don't go there for the food. It's not so bad. We just don't accept invitations for holidays. We went there for Thanksgiving one year and learned our lesson.

 

[sparrowgrass]

Sometimes, its the company and not the food. Better a frozen pizza served with laughter than a stuffy, solemn, boring 6 course gourmet meal.

I have a few friends who don't cook, but just being together is enough. Accept the hospitality, and go home and have a sandwich if you are still hungry.

 

[love2"Q"]

i do not like to think of it as snobbery .. but ..
usually when invited to friends it is a cook out of some kind ...
the burgers are always burnt on the outside and raw in the center ..
why people think bbq sauce is something you must put on a chicken
leg or thigh before it even touches the grill is beyond me .. it comes out
the same as the burgers .. i like to look at it as being safe rather than
being a snob .. but the best was going to my sisters for dinner one night
and she made a roasted chicken .. it had this strange square spot burned
into it .. it was the giblet pack .. she never took it out ..
maybe i am a snob ..

 

[amber]

i do not like to think of it as snobbery .. but ..
usually when invited to friends it is a cook out of some kind ...
the burgers are always burnt on the outside and raw in the center ..
why people think bbq sauce is something you must put on a chicken
leg or thigh before it even touches the grill is beyond me .. it comes out
the same as the burgers .. i like to look at it as being safe rather than
being a snob .. but the best was going to my sisters for dinner one night
and she made a roasted chicken .. it had this strange square spot burned
into it .. it was the giblet pack .. she never took it out ..
maybe i am a snob ..

Oh my gosh you have me in stitches here reading about the giblet pack I literally have tears running down my cheeks, thanks for the laugh!

To answer the question, I don't think it's snobby really. I liked middie suggestion of a potluck, but don't touch their pot Just kidding. I also think it would be fun for everyone to cook together, maybe come up with a theme menu like Mexican night or Italian night.

 

[texasgirl]

I look at it this way. They are offering you something. It isn't costing you anything but time spent with friends. Who cares about the food. Have a good time together. When they come to your house, make something easy, but savory and without being obvious, let them see how you prep your food and cook it. Say something like, I love this dish, it's easy and doesn't take long. This will give them ideas and maybe, one of the times you go there, they will have been inspired them.

 

[kitchenelf]

One of my friends can't cook, and when we have eaten at her house (generally boxed stuff), she is so apologetic the whole time that I just appreciate the effort she does make. And when I go home I thank God that my mom was a great cook and taught me how.

Barbara

GEEZ - I'll do better next time!

It is a fine line between snobbery and ............ok, I can't think of another word so I guess you're a snob (and sometimes I'm there with you).

I'm lucky - my friends have "caught" my love for cooking. We have spent many an evening in my kitchen cooking. People just don't realize how easy it is to cook from scratch. Maybe if they see you prepare some of it they will be inspired.

Just "do your stuff" and maybe they will catch on. Enjoy their company when you go over there - they are doing the best they can. It's a moment in time.

 

[karenlyn]

I wouldn't call it outright snobbery, either... but I do feel a little superior (not in a judgemental way-- just in a "hey, aren't I special" way) when, at a friend's house for dinner, I see that almost everything comes from a jar or can. I don't cook like that, and it's a little ego boost to know that I do something special --actually cook-- that most people I know do not. Even if they're people I love. :P

-Karen