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-   -   No kids, how come? (http://www.discusscooking.com/forums/f26/no-kids-how-come-47827.html)

suziquzie 07-03-2008 10:25 AM

No kids, how come?
The baby borrowers got me thinking...
For those of you with no children, and no intent on having them.... why?
I get when you can't, you can't, or a bad relationship.... but my brother and SIL have decided not to, and I'm not sure why.
Yeah, they are loud and seem to interrupt things alot, but it's also the best thing I ever did!
Not passing judgement one bit.... just curious. :smile:

Saphellae 07-03-2008 10:30 AM

I used to be one of those people who said I never wanted kids. Nick has changed my mind though.

From my point of view, I didn't want to give up my freedom. Kids mean ALOT of dedication and time and patience (as Suzi often reminds us!!). I wanted to be able to travel if I wanted, go away for a weekend if I chose to, lay in bed on a Sunday morning.

But, now that I've found someone I want to spend the rest of my life with, I want to share more with him - raising a child.

buckytom 07-03-2008 10:33 AM

i've found that this is often a very sore subject, as childless people feel they are being judged like they're not living a full life.
sometimes, you just never meet the right person with which to have children. i applaud people who realize the sacrifice, as well as all of the other factors involved in properly rearing a child, and decide not to bring a life into the world just to screw it up. it's not selfishness, as is so often assumed. in fact, it's selflessness. not having the "i want" syndrome, then giving up on the kid when the reality sinks in.
far too many people use their genitalia and hormones to determine if they should have kids, not their brains.

ronjohn55 07-03-2008 10:34 AM

No kids... Just hasn't happened yet. That's all. :smile:

sattie 07-03-2008 10:41 AM

No kids, our personal choice.... but it can always change.

corazon 07-03-2008 10:43 AM

I don't think that dh was intent on having kids, then surprise surprise, we got pregnant. Now he wants 10 kids!
I think you never realize how incredible having kids is until you have your own. It's the most powerful love I have ever felt and will ever feel.
Yes, it does require time and dedication but that is a small price to pay for the happiness they bring.

GB 07-03-2008 10:47 AM

I have the utmost respect for anyone who makes the decision not to have kids. Deciding to have kids was the single most important weighty intense decision I have ever made and probably ever will make. Too many people these days do not give it the thought it requires before having children. For those that are smart enough to know that they do not want kids and make the conscious decision to take steps not to have them I think that is great that you know you don't want them and won't have them.

I could never imagine my life without my kids, but I can absolutely see how all people would not feel that way. It really does completely change your life in a huge way. If you are not ready for that they having kids is not for you.

TATTRAT 07-03-2008 10:57 AM

no kids, not yet.

Being a parent is a job no "ONE" is truly qualified for, but people still do it. I just want to get to a point where I know I won't mind settling down for at least 18years.

miniman 07-03-2008 11:00 AM


Originally Posted by TATTRAT (Post 639121)
no kids, not yet.

Being a parent is a job no "ONE" is truly qualified for, but people still do it. I just want to get to a point where I know I won't mind settling down for at least 18years.

Parenthood is the original "learn on the job" training and each child is different so the first lot of training needs to be updated - I don't think I've got it yet.:huh:

TanyaK 07-03-2008 11:02 AM

Neither of us have the slightest urge to have children - never have - and we're in our mid thirties. I'm just not a "child person". My friends all have kids and I never have the urge to play or interact with them(does that sound horrible?) I'd rather cuddle a puppy than a baby :lol: Neither my mom or sister ever had an urge to have kids but had them because my dad and BIL wanted them (but they love their kids now that they're there) - so maybe it's genetic :rolleyes: In my point of view you should only have kids if you really really want them and not because of any other reason - people often ask me "but you're going to be lonely when you're old" - not a reason to have kids in my opinion. It's actually pretty amazing how personal people can get :glare:

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