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-   -   The Man Rules (as given by my Fiance...) (http://www.discusscooking.com/forums/f26/the-man-rules-as-given-by-my-fiance-50984.html)

deelady 10-11-2008 01:00 PM

The Man Rules (as given by my Fiance...)
 
The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally, the guys' side of the story
We always hear'the rules' from the female side,Now here are the rules from the male side

These are our rules!
Please note... they are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1.
Learn to work the toilet seat.You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.We need it up, you need it down.You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1.
Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.Let it be.

1.
Crying is blackmail.

1.
Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one! Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!Just say it!

1.
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.That's what we do.Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in anargument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1.
If you think you're fat, you probably are.Don't ask us.

1.
If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1.
You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1.
Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to sayduring commercials.

1.
Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1.
ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows defaultsettings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have NOidea what mauve is.

1.
If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1.
If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1.
If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1.
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really!
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you areprepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.

1.
You have enough clothes.

1.
You have too many shoes.

1.
I am in shape.Round
IS a shape!

1..
Thank you for reading this.Yes, I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight;But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

NAchef 10-11-2008 02:00 PM

hahahahaha

Too funny!

Maverick2272 10-11-2008 02:19 PM

I would print this and show it to my wife, but my couch is uncomfortable!:ermm:
:lol::rofl:

middie 10-11-2008 04:27 PM

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

Oh that's great lmao

DietitianInTraining 10-11-2008 05:34 PM

*Ahem*......:glare:

Sure.. the toilet seat comment has a good point, but *ME* not putting the seat up, means you might have a little mess to clean up... *YOU* not putting the seat down, means me falling into the toilet!! You could still do your business with the seat down... we cannot do ours with the seat up!!

"Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one! Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!Just say it!"

- One time, my husband and I were on vacation, and we were looking for a resteraunt to eat supper at. I look over and see Red Robin, and said "Hm, Red Robin sounds good!" a few min. later, feeling rather dissapointed that we were now driving AWAY from the resteraunt, I said "Guess that means we're not eating Red Robin tonight...." He says "I didn't know you wanted to eat there. Why didn't you say so??" ...............aparently we need to draw you men pictures..

"If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. "

- I agree, that one's halarious! lol

And finally, I must disagree with one more........ A girl can never have too many shoes.:angel:

:lol:Over-all, this was halarious, and I know my husbands going to LOVE it..





Barbara L 10-11-2008 05:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by beginner_chef (Post 701507)
...Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!Just say it!"

- One time, my husband and I were on vacation, and we were looking for a resteraunt to eat supper at. I look over and see Red Robin, and said "Hm, Red Robin sounds good!" a few min. later, feeling rather dissapointed that we were now driving AWAY from the resteraunt, I said "Guess that means we're not eating Red Robin tonight...." He says "I didn't know you wanted to eat there. Why didn't you say so??" ...............aparently we need to draw you men pictures...

I'm never sure where I stand with this! Sometimes I will do the same as you, and he will react the same as your husband. Other times it works fine. And yet other times, I will just look at a restaurant and he assumes I want to eat there! James is actually usually pretty good at reading what I want, but sometimes he is way off.

:smile:Barbara

Maverick2272 10-11-2008 06:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by beginner_chef (Post 701507)
*Ahem*......:glare:

Sure.. the toilet seat comment has a good point, but *ME* not putting the seat up, means you might have a little mess to clean up... *YOU* not putting the seat down, means me falling into the toilet!! You could still do your business with the seat down... we cannot do ours with the seat up!!

Yer assuming we can aim!:lol::rofl:

Better to train him to always put the seat down, my mom trained me as a kid and I never fail to put the seat down to this day!:smile:

DietitianInTraining 10-11-2008 07:03 PM

:lol:

My husband not only puts the seat down, but he takes toilet paper, and wipe the toilet off, before he puts the seat back down.. lol :rolleyes:


pacanis 10-11-2008 07:54 PM

Personally, I like #1
:angel:

LadyCook61 10-11-2008 07:54 PM

my hubby doesn't even put the seat up ! :ohmy:


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