Discuss Cooking - Cooking Forums

Discuss Cooking - Cooking Forums (http://www.discusscooking.com/forums/)
-   Off Topic Discussions (http://www.discusscooking.com/forums/f26/)
-   -   Hitman (http://www.discusscooking.com/forums/f26/hitman-54932.html)

texasgirl 01-29-2009 08:50 PM

So, here's the story. . .

Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed.

A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.'

Artie then explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000.

The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money.

Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, &reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.

A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Super Wal-Mart store. There, he surprised her in the produce department &proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands &as the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath & ;slumped to the floor........

The manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.

However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras &observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught &arrested before he could even leave the store.

Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.

The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared ...

(You're going to hate me for this ... )


Fisher's Mom 01-29-2009 08:56 PM

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl: OMG, I laughed so hard! I immediately read it to 2 of my sons and they just howled! Thanks for this, Stacy!

mikki 01-29-2009 09:04 PM

Thanks for the chuckle stacy

kadesma 01-29-2009 10:54 PM

Good one Stacy I needed that:lol:

Saphellae 01-29-2009 11:09 PM

That is hilarious!

JMediger 01-29-2009 11:18 PM

That is funny! Thank you for the laugh!

Mama 01-29-2009 11:42 PM

That was great!

LPBeier 01-30-2009 12:01 AM

Oh, Stacy, I was feeling kind of low tonight and that just was the medicine I needed. I am still chuckling. DH is in the other room wondering what in the world could be that funny!!!!!!

cara 01-30-2009 03:30 AM

that was great ;o))

babetoo 01-30-2009 05:05 PM

thanks for that, didn't see it coming. lol

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:54 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 4
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.