Zaniest Christmas Story? Tell Meeeeee~! xD

[ThePurpleChef]

So, I have a funny family Christmas story, and I will share it, but I would also like to hear others!

One year (when I was in middleschool) Christmas was coming up. My father and mother had split up maybe a year before, and we moved into our apartment in the summer. I lived with my mom and my twin brother, Steven, and we couldn't afford as much luxury as we used to because of the split-up. So, one day, I'm sitting on the computer, drawing on MS Paint, and listening to music on YouTube, and Steven walks in to ask my mother about Christmas. He asked her for one videogame and she told him she couldn't afford it at the time, so he gets mad and flips out, and then she flips out, and he somehow accidentally knocked over the tree. I looked at my mother, and she was red with rage. She yelled, "YOU WANT A CHRISTMAS?! YOU'LL GET A F***ING CHRISTMAS!!" and she grabs the tree by the base, and starts whipping it around and smacking it against the floor until it fell apart (it was a fake tree and some ornaments broke, but not many, surprisingly). Steven and I watched as she pulverized the tree, and when my mom was done, Steven went to his room angrily. My mom stood there brooding after she half killed the tree, and I looked at her and said, "Mom... Are you done?" and she scowled at me, and went out for a drive, I guess. Then, later, Steven comes back feeling bad, and tries to put the tree back together, and then my mom came home, felt bad, and tried to help him put it back together.

They succeeded!

Afterwards, we talked about what happened, and we found it rather funny. My mom said I was a snarky brat for saying, "Mom... Are you done?" We always tell this story, because it is funny and cute.

 

[CWS4322]

My story is about a tree as well. I always loved Christmas. The tree was the high point. My father would go out and pick out the top of the tree (we topped trees--we did not cut down the whole tree) in September. My brother and I would arrive home from university, and off we'd go the next morning to get "the TREE." This was no easy task--one of us would have to climb the tree and top it. This was usually my job and I'm terrified of heights, so having to hold on with one hand and saw (which was tied to my waist and I did drop most years) with the other was always a frightening experience. Then we'd have to tie parachute cords onto the top and drag it about a mile out of the bush through 3 ft of snow, load it on the car, and bring it back to the cabin (where my mother always had Glogg simmering in a pot on the woodstove). The cabin was in the remote area of Lake of the Woods in Canada. The cabin was an A-frame, heated by a woodstove, with an 18 ft ceiling, in the middle of which was a ceiling fan. The challenge was getting a tree with an 8 ft. base, that was 17 ft tall, through the door, and in the stand, without lobbing the top off (we always forgot to turn off the fan until at least one branch was sent sailing through the room). Getting the tree in the stand was difficult--the swearing and cussing on my father's part was unbelievable. Then came the challenge of decorating it. My brother and I would perch on the railing of the loft, armed with x-c ski poles and try to get ornaments on (once we had managed to string the 18 strands of lights). Many a time, the cry "Falling Angel" rang out as an angel tumbled to the ground, my mother's cue to make her best effort to catch the "pass." (The angels went on the top part, followed by the big "stuffed animals" and then the lower level was decorated with the handmade ornaments and other smaller things.) Those Christmases were a lot of fun. But it was the tree--I had always wanted an 18 ft tree...we drove there in terrible weather to be there in time to help cut and decorate the tree. (And, I must confess, I always cut it about 1 foot taller than my brother or dad told me to--I wanted the wings of the Angel that graced the top to touch that 18 ft ceiling). And, we often couldn't leave when the weather would've been better driving because we had to take down the tree.

Those were the best Christmases, once the tree was decorated, it was BEAUTIFUL. We had these huge ornaments for the top because you couldn't see them from the livingroom below. We couldn't leave until the tree was dismantled...we would bring the chainsaw in and cut it on a tarp in the livingroom to get it out of the house...

I could tell you about the year we moved the tree in the split-level house, pre-cabin Christmases, when we moved it from the livingroom, to the garage, to the family room, and spun it around and around with the lights on, but that is another story.

 

[blissful]

So, I have a funny family Christmas story, and I will share it, but I would also like to hear others!

One year (when I was in middleschool) Christmas was coming up. My father and mother had split up maybe a year before, and we moved into our apartment in the summer. I lived with my mom and my twin brother, Steven, and we couldn't afford as much luxury as we used to because of the split-up. So, one day, I'm sitting on the computer, drawing on MS Paint, and listening to music on YouTube, and Steven walks in to ask my mother about Christmas. He asked her for one videogame and she told him she couldn't afford it at the time, so he gets mad and flips out, and then she flips out, and he somehow accidentally knocked over the tree. I looked at my mother, and she was red with rage. She yelled, "YOU WANT A CHRISTMAS?! YOU'LL GET A F***ING CHRISTMAS!!" and she grabs the tree by the base, and starts whipping it around and smacking it against the floor until it fell apart (it was a fake tree and some ornaments broke, but not many, surprisingly). Steven and I watched as she pulverized the tree, and when my mom was done, Steven went to his room angrily. My mom stood there brooding after she half killed the tree, and I looked at her and said, "Mom... Are you done?" and she scowled at me, and went out for a drive, I guess. Then, later, Steven comes back feeling bad, and tries to put the tree back together, and then my mom came home, felt bad, and tried to help him put it back together.

They succeeded!

Afterwards, we talked about what happened, and we found it rather funny. My mom said I was a snarky brat for saying, "Mom... Are you done?" We always tell this story, because it is funny and cute.

Wow.
I must have missed the funny part.
Maybe it's funny like a clown falling on his butt and getting hurt--everyone else thinks it's funny except the one that is hurt.

 

[CWS4322]

My thought was "mom going through menopause..." I have one of those Christmas stories as well...it wasn't funny then, it isn't funny now.

 

[ThePurpleChef]

Wow.
I must have missed the funny part.
Maybe it's funny like a clown falling on his butt and getting hurt--everyone else thinks it's funny except the one that is hurt.

Oh, trust me, at that moment, it wasn't funny. It's just the concept of my mother beating up a tree (she never flipped out like that) and the fact that she and my brother ended up feeling bad and putting it back together, was funny. I was the innocent bystander, lol, and I can tell you that my mother never flipped out like that. Especially on me. I was the good child. I still am, lol. My brother was more of a miserable brat around then.

 

[blissful]

My thought was "mom going through menopause..." I have one of those Christmas stories as well...it wasn't funny then, it isn't funny now.

CWS--I was thinking something different. I never find any resolution in a person characterizing another as 'sick' or something wrong with them.What if their circumstances were terrible and no one acknowledges them?

I was thinking, I have a friend, and when he says 'it was funny....'.......I say, 'oh no please not more pain'..
He has said:
...I was in vietnam and it was funny........something about shooting off body parts.....
...During my divorce it was funny.......she took everything....and I lived on $23/month...
...At the court proceedings it was funny.......and I remember nothing for 24 hours I was so upset....
..."it was funny"......isn't always funny.

Funny is funnier when no one gets hurt.

 

[CWS4322]

Blissful--I didn't mean that my mom was sick, she was going through a normal phase in life. At the time, it was scary because she wasn't herself, but now I can relate to why she behaved the way she did.

 

[blissful]

Blissful--I didn't mean that my mom was sick, she was going through a normal phase in life. At the time, it was scary because she wasn't herself, but now I can relate to why she behaved the way she did.

No I get it, I thought you were referring to the OP's mom......and menopause is a normal phase in life, we agree.........no worries.

 

[CWS4322]

No I get it, I thought you were referring to the OP's mom......and menopause is a normal phase in life, we agree.........no worries.

No--it just brought to mind the memory of my mom in her panty hose and bra screaming in the middle of the living room she didn't have anything to wear to Christmas Eve service...that wasn't my mom. That was someone controlled by raging hormones. Now I get it <g>. And, since people go through menopause at different ages, that outburst the OP describe made me think "menopause."

 

[blissful]

No--it just brought to mind the memory of my mom in her panty hose and bra screaming in the middle of the living room she didn't have anything to wear to Christmas Eve service...that wasn't my mom. That was someone controlled by raging hormones. Now I get it <g>.

Okay fine then, that brought to mind the night a teenage newspaper delivery boy was a peeping tom at my bedroom window at 2 am when I was 20 and my dad ran outside in his whitey tighty's with his gun. Fathers shouldn't wear whitey tighty's, they should be dressed and it was funny. No animals or delivery personnel were hurt during this incident.

 

[ThePurpleChef]

Okay fine then, that brought to mind the night a teenage newspaper delivery boy was a peeping tom at my bedroom window at 2 am when I was 20 and my dad ran outside in his whitey tighty's with his gun. Fathers shouldn't wear whitey tighty's, they should be dressed and it was funny. No animals or delivery personnel were hurt during this incident.

Oh my goodness! Ha ha! x)

 

[CWS4322]

Okay fine then, that brought to mind the night a teenage newspaper delivery boy was a peeping tom at my bedroom window at 2 am when I was 20 and my dad ran outside in his whitey tighty's with his gun. Fathers shouldn't wear whitey tighty's, they should be dressed and it was funny. No animals or delivery personnel were hurt during this incident.

Could've been worse--better he slept in his whitey-tightys rather than his b'day suit and chased a/ther s/one with his gun!

My mother tried to run after a motorcyclist that was revving his engine outside her bedroom window when I was in grade school...he didn't realize the side road was a dead end...wonder what he thought of this woman in an almost see-through nightie grabbing him by the collar and hauling him off his motorcycle yelling, "I have a sick child, what do you think you are doing!" (Moms shouldn't practice running down the road in almost see-through nighties either).

 

[ThePurpleChef]

My thought was "mom going through menopause..." I have one of those Christmas stories as well...it wasn't funny then, it isn't funny now.

Nah, I don't think so. My mom was stressed because of the split-up, and she was stressed because my brother gave her a hard time alot of the time. I'm like my mom. I get mad, but I never typically flip out, and when I do... Something's seriously wrong, lol.

 

[blissful]

Oh my goodness! Ha ha! x)

See? Funny and no one gets hurt?..... I don't see a huggy smiley, insert one here.

wonder what he thought of this woman in an almost see-through nightie grabbing him by the collar and hauling him off his motorcycle yelling,

He was probably thinking, 'wow, I don't usually get this much action, what AM I doing right?'.

(Moms shouldn't practice running down the road in almost see-through nighties either).

Or.......maybe they should 'practice', so they do it more efficiently or eloquently?
We should practice this?.........Are you game?

 

[CWS4322]

ROFL!

 

[blissful]

ROFL!