CharlieD
Chef Extraordinaire
I say at least rent and watch Green Fried Tomatoes with you DH, and at the appropriate moment look at him and just say hmmm..., and we asks you what you just say, nothing, nothing dearrr.
What to do with a whiny husband??
- Thread starter PolishedTopaz
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Kayelle
Chef Extraordinaire
Ykies TL..........no kidding!! Thanks for the warning, I hope everyone reads that !!
CWS4322
Chef Extraordinaire
as you pick up his plate and dump it in the trash. Just make sure you haven't prepared a top-of-the-line cut of beef...or fish it out later after he's gone to a local take-out joint and feed it to the dog (or cat, or chickens). I bet the fill-in-the-blank critter would not complain.
SherryDAmore
Senior Cook
As amusing as it is to consider doing something vile and punitive to your husband (and I confess I have given it some thought for my husband on occasion, but once I realized how dreadful the lighting is on "Court TV' for a woman my age - well that was the end of that) I wouldn't recommend it.
I don't want to go all psychobabbly on you, BUT it sounds as though it's more of a power play than actual objection to your food. No one can be that picky/whiny. Your reaction to it, is I suspect, what gets a rise, (I know it did with my mom) but if you can, try to see it as funny and childish.
Agreeing with him and dumping his plate is one way.
Or, if you are clever, "mishear" him, and answer with something sweet (when the arrow doesn't hit it's target, it usually doesn't get reshot.
Or make your dinner, assure him he won't like it, but he's free to make whatever he thinks he would like. And make sure your dinner is fabulous, and again, be sweet and "helpful." You can do this. You just have to change the way you think.
I don't want to go all psychobabbly on you, BUT it sounds as though it's more of a power play than actual objection to your food. No one can be that picky/whiny. Your reaction to it, is I suspect, what gets a rise, (I know it did with my mom) but if you can, try to see it as funny and childish.
Agreeing with him and dumping his plate is one way.
Or, if you are clever, "mishear" him, and answer with something sweet (when the arrow doesn't hit it's target, it usually doesn't get reshot.
Or make your dinner, assure him he won't like it, but he's free to make whatever he thinks he would like. And make sure your dinner is fabulous, and again, be sweet and "helpful." You can do this. You just have to change the way you think.
OP
OP
PolishedTopaz
Sous Chef
Well geeezze I guess I should get that life insurance policy that Fiona was talking about first.
But seriously I would never do that to someone even before I saw all that info on Snopes. Venting here did help alot.
Addie
Chef Extraordinaire
I am curious. What did he eat for the four years you stopped cooking? 
Dawgluver
Chef Extraordinaire
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I'm so glad DD enjoyed her wonderful birthday meal, Polished T! Obviously made with love and great care. DH may need some intensive social skills instruction, or an evaluation of his sense of taste! Turning down steak au poivre?!?! Maybe a psychiatric eval!
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You might try involving him. Ask him what sounds good, take him shopping with you and encourage him to choose something. Then ask for his help in the kitchen for preparation. Ask him, while eating, "what should I change about this next time we have it?"
All of these things helped my situation years ago. And today we work more as a team and he is very happy to choose meals and make suggestions on the prep.
There are times when he likes something I don't and the other way around but that's no problem either ... once in a while we make our own favorite thing .. that way we are both happy without forcing the other to endure a miserable meal.
All of these things helped my situation years ago. And today we work more as a team and he is very happy to choose meals and make suggestions on the prep.
There are times when he likes something I don't and the other way around but that's no problem either ... once in a while we make our own favorite thing .. that way we are both happy without forcing the other to endure a miserable meal.
I showed Shrek a catalog with Goose Down Pillows, told him we really needed to get them, he just cracked up. He already knows about the Insurance policy, good thing he has a sense of humor...he must, he married me...
babetoo
Chef Extraordinaire
my first husband had a very, very narrow range of what he would eat. mostly meat , potatoes and corn. i just gave it to him. my second husband thought i was a great cook and ate everything i made. he turned out to be a really bad guy. you never know.
Awww PT, that would really be hard to live with. I'm sure he has lots of other wonderful qualities or you wouldn't have married him.
As frustrating as it is, I would suspect some other cause for his whining. He's obviously GETTING your attention when he whines. Maybe he needs your attention and he's internalized this is a good way to get it? Does dinner happen at roughly the same time every day? Does he get a chance to decompress after work?
OK, if none of that is helpful, a nice big shot of whiskey or bourbon as an aperitif might make your meals more palatable to him. If not, take the shot yourself! Then his whining won't bug you so much!
As frustrating as it is, I would suspect some other cause for his whining. He's obviously GETTING your attention when he whines. Maybe he needs your attention and he's internalized this is a good way to get it? Does dinner happen at roughly the same time every day? Does he get a chance to decompress after work?
OK, if none of that is helpful, a nice big shot of whiskey or bourbon as an aperitif might make your meals more palatable to him. If not, take the shot yourself! Then his whining won't bug you so much!
OP
OP
PolishedTopaz
Sous Chef
I yelled at him tonight when he first came home, demanded and recieved an apology. Heartfelt or not I feel better for getting it. DD gave him a dose too
If I had adressed him about it last night .........well it woulda got really nasty. And would have spoiled kids BD, couldn't have lived that one down.
Thanks Everyone for your support
If I had adressed him about it last night .........well it woulda got really nasty. And would have spoiled kids BD, couldn't have lived that one down.
Thanks Everyone for your support
Dawgluver
Chef Extraordinaire
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You go, Girl!
Claire
Master Chef
Awww PT, that would really be hard to live with. I'm sure he has lots of other wonderful qualities or you wouldn't have married him.
As frustrating as it is, I would suspect some other cause for his whining. He's obviously GETTING your attention when he whines. Maybe he needs your attention and he's internalized this is a good way to get it? Does dinner happen at roughly the same time every day? Does he get a chance to decompress after work?
OK, if none of that is helpful, a nice big shot of whiskey or bourbon as an aperitif might make your meals more palatable to him. If not, take the shot yourself! Then his whining won't bug you so much!
Some people learn in childhood that whining is a way to get what they want. More of the men in my life than I can count learned not to cry as children ("men don't cry")(my era, I'm 57), but they sure as heck can whine and have temper tantrums. I have one nephew, I swear, who whined for the first few years of his life. Constantly. I mean, he never was not vocalizing, happy or sad, mad or frustrated. He got the attention he wanted (youngest in a good-sized family) without having to cry or act out. His mom would do just about anything to shut him up for a few hours! Sometimes a response of, hey, you're going to whine and bitch no matter what I do, so I'll do what I please, and walk away. In other words, in agreement, with Alix, don't reward behavior that bugs you (as in striving even more to meet his every food desire). When possible, just ignore and walk away (after a session, without kids present, letting him know the new future).
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SherryDAmore
Senior Cook
This was along the lines I was thinking: The performance never continues when the audience has left the theater.
joesfolk
Head Chef
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My the same thing...whine. But he also eats the food I give him and goes back for seconds and thirds. If he had his choice he would live on 1950's food, primarily canned or boxed. I have finally gotten to the point where I can say "If you don't like it don't eat it. He's a big boy. He can make a box of mac and cheese if he doesn't like what I serve. On the up side, he does put up with me too.
Addie
Chef Extraordinaire
This certainly brought back memories. I was pregnant with my fifth child. As usual my hormones were running amok. I finaly asked my husband how could he take my mood swings. I couldn't stand myself. Answer?
"You put up with mine, I put up with yours. And yours only last nine months."
After that I did try to control my hormones.
This certainly brought back memories. I was pregnant with my fifth child. As usual my hormones were running amok. I finaly asked my husband how could he take my mood swings. I couldn't stand myself. Answer?
"You put up with mine, I put up with yours. And yours only last nine months."
After that I did try to control my hormones.
Long-standing joke in my life...3 weeks a month I loved Shrek, for one week I hated him (I'm sure you undertstand why). I used to joke that when I hit menopause, at least my hormones would level out...it did, they did and without medications...I hate him all the time. It's how I knew I had a problem and needed medical help, I was definitely NOT myself.
Claire
Master Chef
I have to laugh. I, too, did it without medical help, and felt like I was being that word that insults my female dogs. My husband simply said, "hey, when I was a kid my mom went through it. No one explained what the hel- was going on to me. You are doing just fine." To this day, he says I was easy compared to his mom. And for that matter, mine. One time I was wondering why my mother was acting so bizarre. Jer took me aside and asked me, didn't I know? My mother was going through menopause! Huh? Duh? Am I an idiot or what?
Addie
Chef Extraordinaire
For both of you. My girlfriend just says there is a little girl inside of her playing with matches. Her daughter just stands there waiting for the little girl to blow the matches out.Similar threads
