"Discover Cooking, Discuss Life."

Go Back   Discuss Cooking - Cooking Forums > General Cooking Information > Menu Planning > Today's Menu
Click Here to Login
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
 
Old 11-28-2008, 12:30 PM   #1
Executive Chef
 
larry_stewart's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Long Island, New York
Posts: 3,795
How do you feel when someone obviously doesnt like what you have cooked ?

As I mentioned in the Hit and Miss thread, I had a Miss with the mashed rutagaba, parsnip and carrot. It wasnt that it was bad, I actually thought it was perfect. But most of the other people either wernt willing to try it, or took a little and left it over ( a few did like it).

Sure I know everyone has different tastes and that everything is not for everyone. But, there is that little bit inside me that gets a little insulted when I see people leaving my food over. I never say anything, and I never would. But I cant help getting that feeling. I feel like saying " Hey, its perfect and it taste great, whats the matter with you ?? Do you have defective taste buds ??? "

Does anyone else get that kind of insulted feeling if something you know you cooked is perfect to your standards, but isnt accepted by others ?? To me this is one of those feelings ( like jealousy) that in your mind you can reason why you shouldnt feel that way, but something just kinda takes over..

(The potato cheese bake completely went, so I wasnt that insulted )

Larry

larry_stewart is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2008, 12:43 PM   #2
Executive Chef
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Raton,NM, USA
Posts: 4,572
Quote:
Originally Posted by larry_stewart View Post
As I mentioned in the Hit and Miss thread, I had a Miss with the mashed rutagaba, parsnip and carrot. It wasnt that it was bad, I actually thought it was perfect. But most of the other people either wernt willing to try it, or took a little and left it over ( a few did like it).

Sure I know everyone has different tastes and that everything is not for everyone. But, there is that little bit inside me that gets a little insulted when I see people leaving my food over. I never say anything, and I never would. But I cant help getting that feeling. I feel like saying " Hey, its perfect and it taste great, whats the matter with you ?? Do you have defective taste buds ??? "

Does anyone else get that kind of insulted feeling if something you know you cooked is perfect to your standards, but isnt accepted by others ?? To me this is one of those feelings ( like jealousy) that in your mind you can reason why you shouldnt feel that way, but something just kinda takes over..

(The potato cheese bake completely went, so I wasnt that insulted )

Larry
I tell people when I put out a meal to not feel obligated to eat something I made if they don't like it as everybody has different tastes and it wont be an insult if you don't eat it. How ever if it's something they have never had before I encourage them to at least taste it it rather than just bypassing it.
__________________
"It's so beautifully arranged on the plate - you know someone's fingers have been all over it." - Julia Child
jpmcgrew is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2008, 12:43 PM   #3
Head Chef
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: N.E., Ohio
Posts: 1,644
larry, I know how you feel but try not to get insulted. Just try to remember not to make that recipe again for those folks. It doesn't mean that the recipe was bad, it was just not what they particularly liked.

I really do understand--I was very disappointed when I spent 2-1/2 hours making marzipan carrots for a three layer carrot cake and no one ate them when I served the cake. They considered them cute garnish and all my effort (not to mention the expense of the ingredients) got thrown in the trash. So, now when I make that cake, I use perfect walnut halves instead unless I know that folks like marzipan.
PieSusan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2008, 12:47 PM   #4
Everymom
 
Alix's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Edmonton, Alberta
Posts: 23,230
Larry, the only time I feel insulted when I present a meal is if someone is rude enough to loudly comment on the things they don't like about it. Otherwise, I just chalk it up to different tastes.

I DO however feel ready to leap across the table when my child picks out microscopic "bits" of things she considers inedible from her food. And when I say microscopic I mean grains of broccoli. Or perhaps a tiny shred of onion. Yeesh. But thats just about kids and Moms.
__________________
You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. Robin Williams
Alix
Alix is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2008, 12:48 PM   #5
Sous Chef
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Philly PA
Posts: 702
I get what you are saying Larry.... My family are not very open minded with food... frankly most of the time most of them wont even try something unfamiliar.... There are a few of us that will eat/try anything.

If someone genuinely does not like something that's fine but when they wont even give it a fair chance because they have convinced themselves beforehand that makes me crazy because I love to try new food so much and so many things I thought I would not like I ended up loving.

I feel like 1/2 of my relatives are "special needs" eaters with all of these individual issues and phobias. They are the worst group of people to cook for. The slightest difference in what they are used to and they wont touch it.

edit to add:

If I am cooking for people I know like and know food and they have comments or ideas on how to imrove something like you know what this can use etc that I appreciate
PanchoHambre is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2008, 12:50 PM   #6
Executive Chef
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Raton,NM, USA
Posts: 4,572
Quote:
Originally Posted by PieSusan View Post
larry, I know how you feel but try not to get insulted. Just try to remember not to make that recipe again for those folks. It doesn't mean that the recipe was bad, it was just not what they particularly liked.

I really do understand--I was very disappointed when I spent 2-1/2 hours making marzipan carrots for a three layer carrot cake and no one ate them when I served the cake. They considered them cute garnish and all my effort (not to mention the expense of the ingredients) got thrown in the trash. So, now when I make that cake, I use perfect walnut halves instead unless I know that folks like marzipan.
Thats to bad I love marzipan.
__________________
"It's so beautifully arranged on the plate - you know someone's fingers have been all over it." - Julia Child
jpmcgrew is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2008, 12:50 PM   #7
Master Chef
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 5,296
It is happened to me.... I don't take it personally, but more as a "Wont be fixing that again." or "What did I do wrong?". I take it with a grain of salt. Different strokes for different folks... what I may find interesting and fabulous may not be the same for the crowd I'm cooking it for. Don't sweat it Larry.... just be you!!!
sattie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2008, 01:37 PM   #8
Hospitality Queen
 
jkath's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Southern California
Posts: 11,448
Firstly, I wish I could have had your root veggie mash - sounds really good to me!
I usually cook the same things for Thanksgivintg, so I know what most may or may not like. Even though my mil and older boy don't care for carrots, I still make carrots in a butter-dill cream, since my sister and I go crazy for it. I know that mil and son will instead go for the orange-ginger sweet potatoes, served in orange cups instead. One orange veggie in exchange for another, I suppose.
On regular days, I do get the occasional whine, but I tell them that when they (both boys and husband) want to cook, they can cook, provided they serve a balanced meal, and do all of the clean up afterward. Somehow, they manage to get through the meal just fine
__________________
Come visit my foodie blog: www.SockmonkeysKitchen.com
This week's topic: Pinterest and Potatoes
jkath is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2008, 01:39 PM   #9
Master Chef
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: E. Pa.
Posts: 8,281
I must say it has not happened to me but I have eaten at others homes and kept quiet about food I didn't like . One year, my sister didn't cook the potatoes completely , it was baked potato and still a little hard. The turkey was a little underdone.
LadyCook61 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2008, 01:43 PM   #10
Chief Eating Officer
 
GB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: USA,Massachusetts
Posts: 25,509
No, I do not get insulted by that. What I do sometimes (and only slightly) get insulted by is when I make something and people do not even try it. If someone puts on a dinner for me then I will take a little bit of everything that is served usually. Of course with a spread like most do on Thanksgiving that is sometimes impossible, but for a normal meal I would at least try a bite of everything.
__________________
You know you can't resist clicking
this link. Your eyes will thank you. VISUAL BLISS
GB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2008, 01:48 PM   #11
Certified Pretend Chef
 
Andy M.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 47,066
My ex was a classic. In the early years of our marriage, she would try new recipes and ask for my feedback. I was careful when I told her I didn't like a dish that it was the recipe I didn't like but that she had done a good job preparing it. It didn't matter, I got the silent treatment for a day or two.

As a result, I try to be objective and accept comments/criticism gracefully. Sometimes, i get hot when the nature of the comment is not, in my opinion, justified.
__________________
"If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe." -Carl Sagan
Andy M. is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2008, 01:56 PM   #12
Head Chef
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: USA,Maryland
Posts: 1,191
No Larry,I don't get insulted. I just sit there enjoying my meal and thinking about all the delicious leftovers that I'm going to have
__________________
"You wouldn't know a diamond if you held it in your hand. The things you think are precious I can't understand" STEELY DAN.
JohnL is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2008, 02:44 PM   #13
Master Chef
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 5,296
Quote:
Originally Posted by GB View Post
No, I do not get insulted by that. What I do sometimes (and only slightly) get insulted by is when I make something and people do not even try it. If someone puts on a dinner for me then I will take a little bit of everything that is served usually. Of course with a spread like most do on Thanksgiving that is sometimes impossible, but for a normal meal I would at least try a bite of everything.
Hey GB... I was thinking about your comment on folks not trying something that you made. I have done this because I know I don't like it or there is something in it I don't like. So do I go ahead and serve some up on my plate and then offend the person because it is still there when I am done or just avoid it all together? I don't like being rude... unless I just put a tiny wee bit on my plate? LOL!
sattie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2008, 04:44 PM   #14
Sous Chef
 
vyapti's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Oregon
Posts: 871
Send a message via Yahoo to vyapti
So long as they try it, I'm always interested in honest feedback. I get more irritated when they (my kids) tell me they like something new and then, next time I make it, they don't touch it. I'd prefer to make something people like and the best way to know is to have people speak up.
__________________
myveggiekitchen.blogspot.com
vyapti is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2008, 05:24 PM   #15
Chief Eating Officer
 
GB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: USA,Massachusetts
Posts: 25,509
Quote:
Originally Posted by sattie View Post
Hey GB... I was thinking about your comment on folks not trying something that you made. I have done this because I know I don't like it or there is something in it I don't like. So do I go ahead and serve some up on my plate and then offend the person because it is still there when I am done or just avoid it all together? I don't like being rude... unless I just put a tiny wee bit on my plate? LOL!
Sorry, I should have been more clear. If someone knows they do not like something then I have no problem with them not trying it. My comment should have specified that this is for foods that they have not yet tried and determined if they like or not.

I made a celery root mashed potato dish a while ago and there were a few people who would not go near it because they had never heard of celery root. They even liked celery, but would not try something new. I think what really got to me was the faces they made. How can you do that when you have never tasted it
__________________
You know you can't resist clicking
this link. Your eyes will thank you. VISUAL BLISS
GB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2008, 05:28 PM   #16
Head Chef
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: N.E., Ohio
Posts: 1,644
GB, there are also some of us with food allergies and we cannot try certain foods or foods in the same families. Sometimes people are loathe to describe their health issues and just say, "no thank you." It really has nothing to do with not being willing to try or even not liking something. I know when I avoid certain foods, I feel better.
PieSusan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2008, 05:28 PM   #17
Chef Extraordinaire
 
pdswife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Mazatlan
Posts: 20,334
Send a message via AIM to pdswife Send a message via MSN to pdswife Send a message via Yahoo to pdswife
What gets me is when they salt the food before tasting it and then say they don't like it...

well, maybe just maybe they would have with out all that added salt on top. : )
__________________
Love the life you live!
pdswife is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2008, 05:39 PM   #18
Chief Eating Officer
 
GB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: USA,Massachusetts
Posts: 25,509
Quote:
Originally Posted by PieSusan View Post
GB, there are also some of us with food allergies and we cannot try certain foods or foods in the same families. Sometimes people are loathe to describe their health issues and just say, "no thank you." It really has nothing to do with not being willing to try or even not liking something. I know when I avoid certain foods, I feel better.
What I am talking about has nothing to do with food allergies. It had to do with the people who look at something they do not recognize, ask what it is and scrunch up their face and basically say gross before they ever take a taste. Not eating something because you have an allergy or have already tried it is fine, but deciding you do not like something before ever tasting it when someone has gone through the trouble of making it for you is a bit rude in my opinion.
__________________
You know you can't resist clicking
this link. Your eyes will thank you. VISUAL BLISS
GB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2008, 05:57 PM   #19
Cook
 
AuntieV's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 96
I have a SIL that always makes comments about what is served. Every meal is "OH I Don't Like THAT". They were living rent free with my parents at one time and would pull this all of the time. I happened to be at a little shop that sells signs made on cedar slabs. They had a sign that hangs over the kitchen table today.

Menu for Today
Choice of Two
Take it or Leave It

SIL does not gripe when she comes to the house now.
AuntieV is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2008, 06:06 PM   #20
Executive Chef
 
miniman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Basingstoke, England
Posts: 4,687
Quote:
Originally Posted by GB View Post
What I am talking about has nothing to do with food allergies. It had to do with the people who look at something they do not recognize, ask what it is and scrunch up their face and basically say gross before they ever take a taste. Not eating something because you have an allergy or have already tried it is fine, but deciding you do not like something before ever tasting it when someone has gone through the trouble of making it for you is a bit rude in my opinion.
Have you been watching my kids. Thats just what they do. I no longer get them to try it as they take a miniscule bit and say they don't like the taste before it has even hit the tongue.

Larry, I do feel a little like that but it is up to people to choose what they want to eat. It's a bit like bring & share meals - I'm always watching to see how well my dish goes down compared to the others.
__________________
"For to be free is not merely to cast off one's chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others." - Nelson Mandela
miniman is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:25 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 4
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.