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Old 03-11-2014, 03:08 PM   #1
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Kitchen disasters

I've made some of these (and more). Anyone have their own 'disaster' to tell about?

Happenings Blog - Community Kitchen Disasters - Food.com

There was one story where some mongooses/mongeese/mongice? carried off her roast.

When my husband was drafted into the army (Korea) we had to live on almost nothing while in Maryland. Our 2 room apartment (that's being kind) was in the basement, but because of the slope of the land our kitchen/ bedroom door went outside to the lawn.

I had saved and saved and saved and one day I bought a roast. I put it on the table, opened the door (it was warm weather), turned away for a bit and a large dog came in and grabbed the roast. Outraged I went after him with a wooden spoon and he dropped it.

So, teeth marks, grass stains and all---- we had a roast that night!
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Old 03-11-2014, 07:11 PM   #2
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I've made some of these (and more). Anyone have their own 'disaster' to tell about?

Happenings Blog - Community Kitchen Disasters - Food.com

There was one story where some mongooses/mongeese/mongice? carried off her roast.

When my husband was drafted into the army (Korea) we had to live on almost nothing while in Maryland. Our 2 room apartment (that's being kind) was in the basement, but because of the slope of the land our kitchen/ bedroom door went outside to the lawn.

I had saved and saved and saved and one day I bought a roast. I put it on the table, opened the door (it was warm weather), turned away for a bit and a large dog came in and grabbed the roast. Outraged I went after him with a wooden spoon and he dropped it.

So, teeth marks, grass stains and all---- we had a roast that night!
Crumbs! I thought I was the oldest around here but I was only a baby when the Korean War broke out!

Your story reminded me of one Christmas when I was a little girl. An outraged neighbour arrived on our doorstep on Christmas morning complaining loudly that his Christmas turkey had been carried off by ......our cat! Mickey the cat was a great big bruiser of a feline and afraid of nothing and no-one. He was the scourge of the local dogs and the postman knew better than to offer to stroke him. Fortunately, in the aforementioned Christmas event, our other neighbour was the local butcher and he had just one unsold bird left which Dad tried to buy as compensation for the bird-less neighbour. Even more fortunately, the butcher was so amused by the event that he handed over the bird free of change!
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Old 03-11-2014, 07:39 PM   #3
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Great story MC. That must have been one big cat.

I was roasting a bunch of Cornish game hens for my annual Solstice party. Some were in the oven, some were in the toaster oven. Suddenly Stirling tells me that there is a fire in the toaster oven. I turned it off and reluctantly doused the birds with baking soda. I rinsed them and put them in the oven. Then I noticed that ones in the oven weren't browning. I checked the oven temp and it was fine. Turned out that my new, stainless steel roasting pan was the culprit. I moved them to something else and everything was done at about the same time. Excitement with which I could have done without. Yes, supper was late, but the birds were yummy.
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Old 03-11-2014, 08:05 PM   #4
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I had a near disaster, but could have been bad. A few years ago I got a new stove, right before Thanksgiving. It has electronic controls on the top of the stove next to the clock and I was not used to using them. I heated the oven and put the turkey in, then somehow hit the on/off button and shut the oven off. But I didn't know I did that. I happened to look at the stove about a half hour later and saw that the temp indicator wasn't lit up, meaning that the oven was not on. I had 14 people coming for dinner, and it would have been a disaster if I had not noticed that the oven was not on.
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Old 03-11-2014, 09:13 PM   #5
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Love this thread! People often say what a great cook I am. But I'm not !! I've even had friends say I should open a restaurant. Wha???? Don't they know the difference between a chef and someone who looks at and then follows a recipe with out any pressure????

They don't know the disasters I've done. Chance brings them to my talbe on a good night. My good ones are ambrosia, food for the gods... can I repeat them... well simply put.... NO! Consistency is important and that is something I'm seriously lacking in. Make a recipe once - perfect, free wing it the second time... disaster.

I'm a Jack of All Trades and Master of None.
I'm also not afraid to tell about my disasters. If only to help others not to fall into the same pit.
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Old 03-12-2014, 12:41 AM   #6
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I've had lots of little disasters, but most aren't bad enough that we don't tough it out and eat the food. It's amazing how good something can taste when you're basically a cheapskate. However, there was the year I took over making the pumpkin pies for Thanksgiving because my Mom had forgotten to put the sugar in...and then I forgot it! Haven't lived that one down yet with our kids. When I was in high school my Mom had an episode when we had my boyfriend and his family over one Sunday dinner. Mom had made a huge roasting pan of chicken. After she had put it on the platter and was moving it to the counter it tipped. Chicken all over the floor in front of Mom, me...and his Mom. She said to Mom "I bet you washed this floor yesterday". After Mom told her she had, his Mom said "well let's get this back on the platter before anyone comes in!".
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Old 03-12-2014, 05:48 AM   #7
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What a wonderful potential mother-in-law! Hope the boyfriend went up many many points just based on his mom!
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Old 03-12-2014, 06:22 AM   #8
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I've had lots of little disasters, but most aren't bad enough that we don't tough it out and eat the food. It's amazing how good something can taste when you're basically a cheapskate. However, there was the year I took over making the pumpkin pies for Thanksgiving because my Mom had forgotten to put the sugar in...and then I forgot it! Haven't lived that one down yet with our kids.
I learned from when DH aunt made a cake with Crisco icing and forgot to put the sugar in the icing. It was just like whipped up lard! When she realized it, she was running around scraping the icing off everyone's cake. Now, any time I cook or bake, the first thing I do is get out all the ingredients and line them up according to when they are used. Then as I use each one, I put it away. That way, I never forget an ingredient or put it in twice.
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Old 03-12-2014, 07:14 AM   #9
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My biggest kitchen disaster didn't involve ruined food, though I 've had a few of those too. I was heating up some cooking oil when the doorbell rang. I didn't have enough sense to turn off the stove. You think my posts are long, well if I have a friend show up at the door... You get the idea. To make a long story short, the smoke alarm alerted me that something was wrong. I ran into the kitchen to see a room full of smoke, and flames shooting up from a badly warped pan. I covered the flames with baking soda and so avoided burning down the rental. The walls were black with soot. The overhead range hood had scorched paint. The varnish on the wooden cupboard, on the side with the pan, was blistered. I talked to the housing maintenance and they said this would cost big money. I took the range hood off, made sure all the electricals were working, and all wiring insulation was intact. I sanded the hood and took it to a friend who shot automotive paint. He painted it for me. I found out that Spinck & Span Pine took the soot right off of the wall, and so the walls were easily cleaned, with a bit of elbow grease. Finally, sandpaper and varnish took care of the blistered varnish on the cupboard. My expesnive cleanup cost me almost nothing. And, I learned to never leave a hot stove unattended.

Seeeeeeya; Chief Longwind of the North
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Old 03-12-2014, 09:23 AM   #10
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Great story MC. That must have been one big cat.

I was roasting a bunch of Cornish game hens for my annual Solstice party. Some were in the oven, some were in the toaster oven. Suddenly Stirling tells me that there is a fire in the toaster oven. I turned it off and reluctantly doused the birds with baking soda. I rinsed them and put them in the oven. Then I noticed that ones in the oven weren't browning. I checked the oven temp and it was fine. Turned out that my new, stainless steel roasting pan was the culprit. I moved them to something else and everything was done at about the same time. Excitement with which I could have done without. Yes, supper was late, but the birds were yummy.
I'm missing something---- why was that stainless steel roasting pan keeping your birds from browning?
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Old 03-12-2014, 10:45 AM   #11
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I'm missing something---- why was that stainless steel roasting pan keeping your birds from browning?
I'm not sure. It's the roasting pan of evil. I tried it again with a chicken when we didn't have company and it wouldn't cook either (yes, the chicken was on a rack). Maybe the two inch tall sides were reflecting all the heat away from the food. It was a really pretty roasting pan.
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Old 03-12-2014, 11:15 AM   #12
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I'm not sure. It's the roasting pan of evil. I tried it again with a chicken when we didn't have company and it wouldn't cook either (yes, the chicken was on a rack). Maybe the two inch tall sides were reflecting all the heat away from the food. It was a really pretty roasting pan.
I have a lasagna pan like that. If the food is entirely in the pan, there is no radiant energy (infra-red) that strikes the bird. The only heat transfer method becomes conductive, where the bird touches the metal, and convective, where air touches the food. The metal readily transfers heat into the bird, as it absorbs energy from convectiive and radiation scources. but air is not a good heat transfer medium.

When roasting food in the oven, the food heats due to three possible sources, convective, conductive, and radiant. Infra-red is emitted from the oven walls, floor, and top. This is the same kind of energy as put out by the sun, or a heat lamp. Unless your oven is a convective oven (one that has a fan to move the air around), the air touching your bird doesn't move around a lot. So, it doesn't pick up heat from touching the hot oven surfaces, or release it into the food very well. So, in a non convective oven, putting shiny, metallic things around the food eliminates the infra-red heat source, causing your food to cook more slowly, and not brown properly. Teh radiant heat is the primary mechanism for browning the food.

To eliminate this problem with you shiny pan, use a rack that lifts most of the food above the pan walls. Alternately, use a roasting pan with short walls.

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Old 03-12-2014, 11:43 AM   #13
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Chief, how well does your lasagna pan work for lasagna? That pan hasn't been thrown out yet, but it is in a "to go" pile.
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Old 03-12-2014, 12:17 PM   #14
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Chief, how well does your lasagna pan work for lasagna? That pan hasn't been thrown out yet, but it is in a "to go" pile.
Oh it makes fabulous lasagna. I can stack it eight layers high, and feed an army. But it takes serious coin to purchase enough ingredients to fell that beast. I still usually go 4 layers, at the most, and use it for pot lucks and such. To make lasagna in it for me and DW would have us eating it for a month, or cutting into enough for meals and freezing it.

Though we love it when we make it, it is a very heavy food, best eaten between the ages of 18 moths, and 40 years of age, you know, when we were high output creatures that never stopped moving, and felled trees with a chop from our bare hands. Ok, maybe I used and axe, but it still involved the use of serious personal effort.

But yeh, it makes great lasagna. If you can't use it, sell it, or give it to someone who can. A good lasagna pan is a terrible thing to waste.

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Old 03-12-2014, 12:29 PM   #15
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Oh it makes fabulous lasagna. I can stack it eight layers high, and feed an army. But it takes serious coin to purchase enough ingredients to fell that beast. I still usually go 4 layers, at the most, and use it for pot lucks and such. To make lasagna in it for me and DW would have us eating it for a month, or cutting into enough for meals and freezing it.

Though we love it when we make it, it is a very heavy food, best eaten between the ages of 18 moths, and 40 years of age, you know, when we were high output creatures that never stopped moving, and felled trees with a chop from our bare hands. Ok, maybe I used and axe, but it still involved the use of serious personal effort.

But yeh, it makes great lasagna. If you can't use it, sell it, or give it to someone who can. A good lasagna pan is a terrible thing to waste.

Seeeeeeeya; Chief Longwind of the North
I'll give it a try with lasagna. I think you can understand my past reluctance to experiment with that much ingredients. If it doesn't work for the lasagna, I will throw it away. I won't even give it to a charity, 'cause I don't want someone else wasting time and money on it.
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Old 03-12-2014, 12:35 PM   #16
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I'll give it a try with lasagna. I think you can understand my past reluctance to experiment with that much ingredients. If it doesn't work for the lasagna, I will throw it away. I won't even give it to a charity, 'cause I don't want someone else wasting time and money on it.
Can you turn it into an indoor smoker, Taxy? My Cambridge smoker is basically a lasagna pan with another pan and a rack inside, with a lid. You can improvise with a cookie sheet or foil as a lid.
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Old 03-12-2014, 12:43 PM   #17
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Can you turn it into an indoor smoker, Taxy? My Cambridge smoker is basically a lasagna pan with another pan and a rack inside, with a lid. You can improvise with a cookie sheet or foil as a lid.
Hmm, now there's an idea. I'll see if it works for lasagna first.
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Old 03-12-2014, 12:45 PM   #18
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Hmm, now there's an idea. I'll see if it works for lasagna first.
The Cambridge manual also states you can use the smoker for lasagna.
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Old 03-12-2014, 03:40 PM   #19
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Another Christmas diosaster. Helping Mother cook Christmas dinner which included a goose. Anyone who's ever cooked one will know that you have to keep taking the bird out of the oven to siphon off the fat.

Mother's kitchen was incredibly badly designed - a galley-style plan (long and narrow) and there wasn't a work surface next to the stove so I had to put it on the surface opposite the stove. I put downthe roasting tin full of goose fat and goose , Mother asked me a question, I turned to answer her, caught my elbow on the roasting tin and knocked it on the floor. Goose and tin were quickly rescued and shoved back in the oven and then we set to to clean up the mess on the floor. It took us nearly an hour, several rolls of kitchen paper and three buckets of boiling hot soapy water to get rid of the fat.

And the real disaster was - no goose fat to roast the potatoes!
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Old 03-12-2014, 10:54 PM   #20
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What a wonderful potential mother-in-law! Hope the boyfriend went up many many points just based on his mom!
FWIW, the boyfriend and I parted ways about six months or so later. He turned out to be not as easy-going as his Mom.
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