People who think they can cook but can't

[dragnlaw]

taxy - I honestly don't remember, I also don't remember if we had PB & J or cereal in replacement there-of... LOL It might have been one of my favourite dishes that every body raves about... Portobello Mushrumm with Pear. The downfall was running it under the broiler. IF I remember correctly...

Kgirl and the rest of you, your stories are amazing and funny - now!

Had lunch at a friend's just before the lock-up. She IS a fantastic cook but we all pull a stunt once in a while. I never said a word but WILL if I can get it in BEFORE a repeat.

To the side she added some preserved lemons, yummy - love them! I watched as she fished them out of the jar, sliced them up and put them on the dish. My first thought was 1. she didn't rinse them and 2. one normally discards the innards of the lemon using just the peel, she didn't. I thought OK, unorthodox but I'll try it, might be OK.
She then asked if I would like a little Himalayan Rock Salt sprinkled on. I said yes and she proceeded to sprinkle it from a tiny spoon. Well, no matter how careful you are, shaking a little spoon is not gonna just let a few crystals fall.

Oh Boy! Needless to say, should there be a next time I will speak up and suggest how to serve the lemon and I will also insist on adding my own salt.

 

[taxlady]

There was one time I helped roast a turkey at my mother-in-law's place. I used the method where you turn the bird on its side and the other side and at some point turn it upside down. While my MIL and husband and I thought the white meat was wonderfully moist that way, my BIL didn't. He thinks I'm a terrible cook because, the white meat wasn't nice and dry, the way he like he likes it.

 

[Rocklobster]

My ex sister in law was like that..She always over did recipes and added something that didn't belong in an attempt to be different or better.. She liked entertaining, and drinking. She'd go full on Martha Stewart with individual bowls out of mini pumpkins with crappy soup in it, and centerpieces so big you couldn't put any food on the table or see who was sitting across from you.... .we dreaded going but went to support my brother..he was never much of a cook and always raved about her cooking...but, everybody in the family had the same opinion, so it just wasn't me being critical..

 

[GotGarlic]

Canned soup as sauce - just say no!

I have a friend who tries - she really, really tries and actually enjoys spending time in the kitchen but turns out mediocre food. She also buys lots of gadgets so her kitchen is cluttered (but that's another topic).

Every year we are invited to enjoy a special feast of fondue, homemade bread, salad and champagne for a holiday. Now, I ADORE cheese fondue but she uses canned soup as a base and cheeses it up with american processed (the white stuff).

Horrid!

Hey now! It's not always terrible! �� I make a braising sauce with a can of cream of chicken soup, my homemade Dijon-style mustard and a little water, then sear chicken thighs, seasoned with sage and thyme, and braise them in it. Serve it over rice, yum.

That cheese "fondue" sounds nasty, but canned soup, treated right, can be the base of a nice sauce.

 

[skilletlicker]

Regardless of your level of experience, if the people who eat or have eaten you cooking think it's OK, you not a bad cook. When you cook and people generally think it's awful but don't tell you, then you fit the title. How do you know which? Do people accept your dinner invitations?

Some years ago with tongue in cheek, I said I didn't know if I was becoming a pretty good cook or just acquiring a taste for my own cooking. But there is a lot of truth beneath that quip.

Wasn't joking when I said that social isolation isn't so much my pandemic response as my natural condition. Maybe when COVID 19 is in our rearview mirror I'll send out the occasional dinner invitation but in the meantime, participation in this forum and your feedback will remain my primary protection against straying too far from conventionally accepted tastes.

 

[Cooking Goddess]

Right, GG, canned soup in the hands of someone who uses it properly ain't half bad. My best friend back home and I would "do" lunch at each other's home every month or two (and sometimes go out ). She made this one casserole that had cheese soup, cooked rice, frozen broccoli, and canned ham. It wasn't bad, but I made it better. When I make it for Himself and me, I use real ham, fresh steamed broccoli, but still use cold rice...and canned cheddar cheese soup. But now you got me to thinking that I could substitute the "cheez whiz" I buy at Aldi...

 

[Cooking Goddess]

Wife's friend (a hard luck case) has been staying here for the last few months. She can not cook but thinks she can...I attempted to tell her the proper way to cook...But she wouldn't listen to me. She cut me off and said her cooking works...

Some people can be trained, some not. You have one that can't be trained and won't listen. Too bad.

My SIL was an OK cook when she got married, but she had lots of faults, too. One time she had us over for supper (this was ages ago!) and dessert was a pie in a box-mix crust - the Pillsbury kind with sticks of pastry that needed only to be broken up and then mixed with water before rolling out. It. Was. Horrid. Himself asked her if she used pie crust or the box that the mix came in. She became determined to make good crust. Now, sometimes her crusts come out better than mine! And I learned from a great aunt that made crust so fragile it melted in your mouth...

Let's home your wife's friend's luck improves and she can move out on her own, jd - for your sakes and the sake of your cast iron pan.

 

[jd_1138]

She struck again yesterday. I walked by her in the kitchen around 3PM and she had tossed a pack of stew meat into the crockpot (pieces were too large, unseared). Then she wasted 3 beautiful white onions and like 4 cans of mixed veggies and a lot of other stuff.

I said "that won't be ready for dinner", and she said nothing. So I replied, "we will have it for lunch and dinner tomorrow I guess". As it cooked, the smell was bad. I thought "what is that retched smell?"

I went to make steaks for dinner, and I couldn't find the Lawry's Season Salt. Turns out she put the entire bottle of it into the stew and also an entire bottle of some lemon seasoning she bought at Dollar Tree probably years ago. Hy Top brand or something. She had a bunch of seasonings she brought here.

The smell kept getting worse and worse as the hours went on. Today, she ate a bowl of it and said "it's not the best stew I made in my life". I hate to be an *******, but we are not exactly the Rockefellers. She wasted our food. I told her to stop cooking.

 

[GimmeAnother1]

I certainly don't claim any koodo's! Every time I post a recipe and/or a dinner with picture is because I can't believe my efforts worked and I'm so thrilled that I didn't have to dump it in the garbage!

I also have no problem posting my disasters! LOL I think I've shown a few...

That’s a good idea for a thread. ‘Show us your disasters’....

 

[Rocklobster]

She struck again yesterday. I walked by her in the kitchen around 3PM and she had tossed a pack of stew meat into the crockpot (pieces were too large, unseared). Then she wasted 3 beautiful white onions and like 4 cans of mixed veggies and a lot of other stuff.

I said "that won't be ready for dinner", and she said nothing. So I replied, "we will have it for lunch and dinner tomorrow I guess". As it cooked, the smell was bad. I thought "what is that retched smell?"

I went to make steaks for dinner, and I couldn't find the Lawry's Season Salt. Turns out she put the entire bottle of it into the stew and also an entire bottle of some lemon seasoning she bought at Dollar Tree probably years ago. Hy Top brand or something. She had a bunch of seasonings she brought here.

The smell kept getting worse and worse as the hours went on. Today, she ate a bowl of it and said "it's not the best stew I made in my life". I hate to be an *******, but we are not exactly the Rockefellers. She wasted our food. I told her to stop cooking.

She needs to be stopped...for the good of your family. And you need to protect her from herself...

 

[PrincessFiona60]

My sister thinks she can cook...she has Hamburger Helper in her cupboard...

 

[Andy M.]

My sister thinks she can cook...she has Hamburger Helper in her cupboard...

They still make that!?

 

[PrincessFiona60]

They still make that!?

Apparently...or it's really old and she bought up all she could find when it started to disappear. Just checked Amazon, they still make it.

 

[Rocklobster]

They still make that!?

Hamburger Helper is so old it needs a helper..
I'll show myself out...

 

[Andy M.]

Hamburger Helper was a staple of my ex. She was one who thought she was a much better cook than she actually was.

 

[PrincessFiona60]

Mom spent a month at my sister's house and she got really tired of Hamburger Helper. Sooooo, when she visited me, I bought a box of HH and put it in the middle of the table. Told her if she was hungry she could cook it up. She laughed and we sent that stupid box back and forth for several years, it finally bit the dust after about 5 years.

Oh, I had a real meal made for her.

 

[larry_stewart]

My sister in law ( the one with the prego ziti and 1 gallon of oil to roost veggies). once attempted to make home made tomato sauce. The error she made was with the measurements . She instead of 1/2 tsp ( or Tbs) of each spice, she adde 1/2 cup ( dried basil, dried oregano...). the sauce was literally crunchy. She did not brag how good it was, but just to make that error is mind blowing ( when there is as much or more dry ingredients than wet ingredients for a sauce).

 

[PrincessFiona60]

My brother could be an excellent cook, but we have to pre measure his spices. He thinks more is good. He is absolutely not allowed to touch any chili spices when cooking for family.

 

[jabbur]

Some of these stories are truly cringe worthy. I was fortunate to grow up with some wonderful cooks (both grandmas and mom) so I figure I'm decent enough. My mom told the stories of 2 fails she had as a bride. She made a cherry pie for Dad. She bought the cherries fresh and followed the recipe which did not include the instructions to pit the cherries so she just put them in whole. Dad nearly cracked a tooth! The other was making rice pudding and thought the rice would cook with the pudding so she used uncooked rice. That was crunchy!

 

[GotGarlic]

The pathetic thing about people like this is that many end up on YouTube, or post their recipes on some of those websites that anyone and everyone can post their recipes! Sometimes, reviews set things straight, but often more people "don't want to hurt their feelings", or something like that, or enough of the people are similar cooks, and it seems OK. The reason I don't surf these areas - go to YouTube occasionally, for well known and liked cooks, but that's all.

This is exactly why I don't just Google for recipes. It's so easy to self-publish that millions of people out there think they can cook and write recipes and often they can't do one or the other - or both. I have a few trusted sites and cooks I use to find new recipes.

And a funny story from my early marriage days. I can't seem to remember *my* failures but as young newlyweds, we once splurged on a nice beef roast. Without telling me, DH marinated it for hours in Worcestershire sauce. No other ingredients - just straight Worcestershire. It was inedible. He felt so bad He's become a pretty good cook since then, although he doesn't love doing it like I do. But he has a few specialties.