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Old 04-20-2020, 10:21 AM   #1
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People who think they can cook but can't

Wife's friend (a hard luck case) has been staying here for the last few months. She can not cook but thinks she can.

We had a pork roast in the freezer, and she dumped it (frozen solid, one large chunk) in the crockpot around 2 PM with like a gallon of water and onions (not chopped). She peeled the skin off and just popped 2 onions in the crockpot and potatoes too (not peeled, just large whole potatoes plopped in).

I asked if she thawed it out first or seared it. "I seared it and thawed it in the crockpot", she responded. I said you can't thaw meat out in a crockpot, as bacteria will form. It will stay lukewarm too long to inhibit bacteria growth. She said I was being paranoid.

Around 6, I pulled the lid off and it was smelly and tough not tender. It looked like a gray miserable piece of pork floating atop the water. And the smell was bad. I stuck a fork in it, and I had to push down hard to get the fork into it. I told her it wasn't safe to eat because it wasn't thawed out correctly. She said hogwash and proceeded to slice a chunk of it off and put a potato next to it. The potato was still hard. lol. Wife and I had a salad.

I attempted to tell her the proper way to cook it. Thaw out in fridge or at least season it and plop the frozen pork into the cast iron to thaw it out quickly, then let it cook all day in the crockpot with smaller pieces of potatoes. But she wouldn't listen to me. She cut me off and said her cooking works. Ha.

Last week, this lady made lasagna, and she didn't peel the garlic. I was picking out garlic skin. It was not good. She thinks she's an awesome cook.

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Old 04-20-2020, 10:25 AM   #2
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lol have her make u drinks. bet they will be strong as heck :)
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Old 04-20-2020, 10:42 AM   #3
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DW had a freind who lived about 30 miles away. She wanted me to meet her freind, so we made the drive to the town of Hemmet, CA, where this freind lived. The woman was gracious and easy to talk to. After a while, she invited us to have dinner with her. She said that she happened to have some New York strps in the fridge, and that she would fire up her hibachi grill and make us the best steaks ever.

Well, she spinkled a thick layer of baking soda on each side of the steaks, and stabbed it into the meat with a fork. She stated that this really made the meat tender and juicy. I had my doubts. But ok, I'd give it a try. She grilled the steaks over the charcoal to medium rare. I cut into the steak. It was tender, so far so good. I ate a piece.
All I could taste was baking soda. The flavor was terrible. I didn't let on, and finished my meal, thanking her. Fortunately, we never had steak at her home again. Except for the awful steak, we had a great time.

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Old 04-20-2020, 10:54 AM   #4
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My sister in law brags about her cooking.
And not that it is that terrible, but she is sooooo careless in the kitchen how she puts things in and takes things out of the oven, how close she keeps things on the counter to the stove top ( which is gas), she'll grab and aluminum tin out of the oven by just grabbing it on one side, as the thing then folds and drips / dumps off the other side cause its not supported. the amount of oil she puts in the pan when roasting veggies in un believable, she should just deep fry them. And here famous " as she puts it' baked ziti is a few jars of prig dumped in a bowl of ziti noodles ( nothing wrong with prig or taking shortcuts, but I wouldn't consider that famous). and then , she'll spend the rest of thee dinner bragging how great a cook she is. I dont have the heart to hurt her feelings, nor would I ever, but I cringe anytime I see her with a knife in her hand, or working near hot things. Im surprised she hasn't had any issues.
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Old 04-20-2020, 11:18 AM   #5
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jd Do you have a lock on your freezer, that you still have the key for? (I just found the key to mine, when cleaning out a drawer in the kitchen, which is why I thought of this)

The pathetic thing about people like this is that many end up on YouTube, or post their recipes on some of those websites that anyone and everyone can post their recipes! Sometimes, reviews set things straight, but often more people "don't want to hurt their feelings", or something like that, or enough of the people are similar cooks, and it seems OK. The reason I don't surf these areas - go to YouTube occasionally, for well known and liked cooks, but that's all.
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Old 04-20-2020, 11:25 AM   #6
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Canned soup as sauce - just say no!

I have a friend who tries - she really, really tries and actually enjoys spending time in the kitchen but turns out mediocre food. She also buys lots of gadgets so her kitchen is cluttered (but that's another topic).

Every year we are invited to enjoy a special feast of fondue, homemade bread, salad and champagne for a holiday. Now, I ADORE cheese fondue but she uses canned soup as a base and cheeses it up with american processed (the white stuff).

Horrid!
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Old 04-20-2020, 11:49 AM   #7
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Canned soup as sauce - just say no!
This reminds me when I was a kid, dating my wife ( then gf at the time). I was invited over her aunts house for some occasion. She was serving stuffed shells or something of the sort that required a decent amount of tomato sauce.

I took one bite and the sauce just seemed off. It was edible, but didn't taste like marinara sauce. Then it hit me, it tasted like those small 8oz cans of 'tomato sauce', right out of the can. thats when I turned to my left, looked on the counter next to the stove, and there were like a dozen empty cans of those little sauces on the counter. That fell under the category ' its the thought that counts'. Nothing against those sauces, they have their place, but at least in my opinion, not as a direct replacement to a sauce for shells. That was a rough one.
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Old 04-20-2020, 12:08 PM   #8
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Went to a relative's home for Thanksgiving dinner one year. Husband and wife prepared the dinner together. They cooked turkey breasts. Got up early to put them in the oven and just left them there with the oven on until it was dinnertime. The breasts were so ridiculously overdone I was surprised they didn't crumble to ash when they sliced it. Actually, it was too dry and the knife was too dull to slice. It just fell off the bones in shredded pieces. I made do with the sides that weren't as awful.
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Old 04-20-2020, 12:15 PM   #9
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Went to a relative's home for Thanksgiving dinner one year. Husband and wife prepared the dinner together. They cooked turkey breasts. Got up early to put them in the oven and just left them there with the oven on until it was dinnertime. The breasts were so ridiculously overdone I was surprised they didn't crumble to ash when they sliced it. Actually, it was too dry and the knife was too dull to slice. It just fell off the bones in shredded pieces. I made do with the sides that weren't as awful.
That reminds me of that scene in one of the vacation movies ( possibly Christmas Vacation) when they cut into the overly cooked, dry turkey and it just deflates

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Old 04-20-2020, 12:16 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by larry_stewart View Post
That reminds me of that scene in one of the vacation movies ( possibly Christmas Vacation) when they cut into the overly cooked, dry turkey and it just deflates
That's kinda what I expected.
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Old 04-20-2020, 12:59 PM   #11
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Call or write The Food Network, and maybe your wife's friend can get her own show. It worked for Sandra Lee!
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Old 04-20-2020, 01:13 PM   #12
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I think that some of those on food network, and some of the PBS shows I've seen (briefly) got on because they, or a relative, gave a huge donation. That's my theory, and I'm stickin' to it!
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Old 04-20-2020, 01:34 PM   #13
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I think that some of those on food network, and some of the PBS shows I've seen (briefly) got on because they, or a relative, gave a huge donation. That's my theory, and I'm stickin' to it!

It’s a club and you and I are not in it. You’d be surprised how connected people r in media, govt, sciences, education, etc and across disciplines not just within. They intertwine and marry to stay connected and in the ‘club’. I can cite dozens of examples of direct connections (spouses, sons/daughters, cousins, etc). Doesn’t only happen in ‘royal’ cough cough families.
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Old 04-21-2020, 09:55 AM   #14
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Originally Posted by jd_1138 View Post
People who think they can cook but can't
...
In the sense of this thread's title, I probably can't and surely don't claim to.
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Old 04-21-2020, 10:07 AM   #15
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If you are taking care of your daily food needs, you probably can and are..

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Old 04-21-2020, 12:04 PM   #16
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In the sense of this thread's title, I probably can't and surely don't claim to.
The fact that you post on a cooking site and are doubting your capabilities means you're probably a way better cook than you give yourself credit for.

It's us self-doubters (who don't assume we can do things so we actually research and spend time learning how to do the activity) who learn how to do things like cooking.

The lady in question in post 1 thinks she knows everything about cooking and has never bothered to actually learn. Other day I caught her with my cast iron skillet in the sink. She had water and dish soap in it. I said "this cast iron never sees soap." I proceeded to try to teach her the basics of cast iron cooking.

She replied "well we never had cast iron growing up. I never used it. We couldn't afford fancy pans like that!"

Um, ok, you can buy nice cast iron skillets for like $3 at a yard sale or $14 new at Wal-Mart.
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Old 04-21-2020, 12:27 PM   #17
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Regardless of your level of experience, if the people who eat or have eaten you cooking think it's OK, you not a bad cook. When you cook and people generally think it's awful but don't tell you, then you fit the title. How do you know which? Do people accept your dinner invitations?
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Old 04-21-2020, 12:34 PM   #18
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I certainly don't claim any koodo's! Every time I post a recipe and/or a dinner with picture is because I can't believe my efforts worked and I'm so thrilled that I didn't have to dump it in the garbage!

I also have no problem posting my disasters! LOL I think I've shown a few...
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Old 04-21-2020, 01:15 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dragnlaw View Post
I certainly don't claim any koodo's! Every time I post a recipe and/or a dinner with picture is because I can't believe my efforts worked and I'm so thrilled that I didn't have to dump it in the garbage!

I also have no problem posting my disasters! LOL I think I've shown a few...
What the heck was that?
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Old 04-21-2020, 01:22 PM   #20
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My Mother will admit to anyone who asks her,
she can't cook and more over doesn't like to cook.
My younger Sister THINKS she can cook, granted,
she and her Husband enjoy the dishes that she makes, so
more power to them I say.

What I didn't appreciate was this past Christmas,
we all went to my Mother's home and I said that I
would bring and cook all of our meals, seeing as neither of them drive
nor have a decent grocery store near them.

So off DH and I went from Arizona to California,
with coolers filled with goodies to create... I even brought my own
'equipment' so DH calls it
So long story longer:

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I made a dish from back home in Hawaii as part of our Christmas Eve
feast.

To preface the story, Sister hasn't lived back in Kaneohe
for 30+ years (nor does she ever visit ), the rest of us only 12 (and we go back on a regular basis) ... anywhos...

This one dish that I make all the time and the rest of us Hawaii-folk
all love it, Sister takes one bit, spits it out into the trash bin, grabs my arm
and looks me straight in the eye and says with venom,
"From one chef to another DO NOT EVER make this again!!!"

If you ever saw or tasted anything that my Sister makes,
you might go running out the door, screaming

Later that evening, I told DH what had taken place, he was none
too happy. "Say what? She couldn't cook her way out of a paper bag if her life depended on it! CHEF? I don't think so! NOT her!"
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