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Old 12-28-2006, 11:35 AM   #1
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Anyone cancel a wedding or know someone who did?

I wrote this in the Spices and Herb thread but I thought it might be fun to hear other peoples' experiences.

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I cancelled my first wedding a week before the ceremony. My parents were not amused having put down all the deposits (which they lost) and many things were completely prepaid. Plus my mom had to return all the gifts.

The 2nd time, as the Wedding March was playing, my eyes glazed over and dad kept saying, "Let's go Bo. Let's go Bo. Let's go Bo." I literally was like a deer in headlights.

So he took hold of my upper arm and dragged my catatonic 110# body down the aisle. He would have carried me or put me on a wagon to get me to the alter at that point.

It was a successful marriage for 15 yrs (but it lasted for 20) and I had 2 great boys.

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Old 12-28-2006, 11:42 AM   #2
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I do not have first hand experience, but my wife was engaged once before me. She ended up calling it off. I am very thankful she did!

We are now waiting to hear if one of her very good friends is going to go through with her wedding. Her BF proposed and she said she was not ready to give him an answer. She took the ring and put it in her drawer. It took her over a year to finally tell him yes. She asked my wife to be a bridesmaid, but refuses to do anything for the wedding at all. She has changed the wedding date once already and has not picked a location. She will not even decide if it will be in this country. She will not go shopping for a dress or do anything else at all. She will not even discuss it. My money is that this will be over well before they get close to the date
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Old 12-28-2006, 11:54 AM   #3
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an ex-girlfriend of mine, before i met her, cancelled most of the services of her old boyfriend's wedding a day or two before without his knowledge.

he and ("the sl#t he left me for") ahem, wife-to-be didn't find out that the limo, flowers, cake, and other parts of their wedding were cancelled until it was too late. they still pulled off a wedding, but not the one they'd planned and paid for.

she even disabled their answering machine so they didn't get any of the calls to confirm cancellation.

it's a long story, but apparently it was payback for his abusive treatment of her, and the way he dumped her.

for a while, though, after she and i broke up, i lived like i was on the federal witness protection program. always looking over my shoulder, avoiding dark alleys, double checking and shredding bills and bank statements, etc..
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Old 12-28-2006, 12:08 PM   #4
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Is the story true about the guy who found out his fiance and his best friend were having an affair so he got pics of them in compromising positions. Then he taped pics of them on the bottom of the guests chair and after they were married ( guess he wanted the bride's parents to be mad at their daughter), he asked all the guests to remove the pic from their chairs, told the story and then went off on the honeymoom with one of his buddies so they could fish....?


That sounds like the ultimate revenge but I never knew if it was true or a tale.
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Old 12-28-2006, 12:33 PM   #5
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Ultimate revenge?--a marriage that should have never taken place resulted in a man playing around on his wife for many years and then deciding to leave her for a trophy wife. Seems like he made the mistake of trusting wife number one to sell the Porche so they could divide the proceeds. Sell it she did-----advertised it, met the astonished customer who gleefully drove away in it and then handed soon to be exhubby his half--.50cents!!
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Old 12-29-2006, 02:11 AM   #6
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Revenge? I'm committing the deepest act of revenge against my husband--I'm staying married to him! Okay, I know it is an old joke!

Half-Baked, even though your parents weren't happy about having put up all the money for the cancelled wedding, in the long-run I hope they realized it was for the best. When my mom got married the first time (to my biological father) she wanted to call it off at the last minute. The only reason she didn't was that her parents had spent so much money and she didn't want them to be disappointed in her. She was only 16 years old. She ended up in an abusive relationship with a drunk who beat her. Fortunately she was able to get out of it with nothing worse (physically) than a bad case of TMJ from being punched in the jaw. Obviously I am glad I am here, and she was glad to have my sister and me, but I hate that she had to go through that just because she was scared to back out.

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Old 12-29-2006, 08:46 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by buckytom
an ex-girlfriend of mine, before i met her, cancelled most of the services of her old boyfriend's wedding a day or two before without his knowledge.

he and ("the sl#t he left me for") ahem, wife-to-be didn't find out that the limo, flowers, cake, and other parts of their wedding were cancelled until it was too late. they still pulled off a wedding, but not the one they'd planned and paid for.

she even disabled their answering machine so they didn't get any of the calls to confirm cancellation.

it's a long story, but apparently it was payback for his abusive treatment of her, and the way he dumped her.

for a while, though, after she and i broke up, i lived like i was on the federal witness protection program. always looking over my shoulder, avoiding dark alleys, double checking and shredding bills and bank statements, etc..
BuckyTom - I think I would have added plastic surgery to my list. If you get married, hire everything under a fake name.
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Old 12-29-2006, 08:52 AM   #8
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No firsthand experience Jan, but I know a couple that I (as a mother...) sure wish someone had backed out of!!! ;)
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Old 12-29-2006, 09:46 AM   #9
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I was really concerned about my son's choice but everyone seems to be very happy so I'm glad I was wrong.

I would have stopped it if I could.
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Old 12-29-2006, 12:13 PM   #10
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Back when I used to do wedding flowers, a client's fiancee backed out 5 days before the wedding. Boy, was her dad angry! To make matters worse, he was a minister, and the church ladies had gone all out to give his daughter a lovely wedding shower. So, not only was he out a lot of cash, but he was also embarrassed in front of his congregation.

I didn't feel sorry for the girl at all...she was a real witch, and talked constantly about how she had the guy under her thumb. But it's a shame for the families that he didn't make up his mind a little sooner.

As for me, I had ordered the flowers, but my wholesaler hadn't gotten them in yet, so I was able to cancel my order. Because the father was my paster, I hadn't charged him a deposit, and all I was out were some ribbons I'd made ahead of time, which I was able to use elsewhere.
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Old 12-29-2006, 06:27 PM   #11
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In our case it was the Military that canceled ours twice. The first time they sent Paul to fight in Korea..Then after he came back we said we would wait until I was out of school. Then they sent him to Japan ..he had a 10 day notice. Third time charm..I met him in Sacramento ( his Troop ship docked in San Francisco so his sis picked him up and brought him to Sacramento. this was on a Friday morning..I rode the Greyhound Bus all night and arrived at 6 AM Saturday morning (his 24th birthday) and we were married on the next Tuesday. He was sure glad because as he put it " I sure hated sleeping with my bony kneed brother- in-law. ( it took us 6 years to get to this point)
Then 52 years later I lost him..
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Old 12-29-2006, 06:39 PM   #12
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Dove, I'm so glad you had the 52 wonderful years.

The father of a friend told her as she was walking down the aisle "it isn't too late to back out". She has been married to the same man for almost 50 years, but she appreciated her dad thinking of herself first, rather than the funds already put out for the wedding.
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Old 12-29-2006, 06:39 PM   #13
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Jan I don't have any experience with cancelling a wedding but I have a friend who started walking down the aisle and then decided to turn around - take off her wedding dress and get into her car and drive away.
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Old 12-29-2006, 11:03 PM   #14
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My oldest son called off his wedding. He disappeared for a few days. He said that he wanted some time to think things over. When he came back he went to the girls house and told her in front of her mother that he could not go through with the wedding. The mother said "oh yes you are. If you want a divorce afterwards, fine". My son said, "no way". Oh, it was terrible. I felt so bad for the girl and her family but it turned out to be the right thing to do.
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Old 12-29-2006, 11:23 PM   #15
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Oh Joanne, what a mess!

My parents were just embarrassed for a nano-second but were very glad that I didn't go through with the first one. They loved the one I actually walked down the aisle with. (how do you say that without using a preposition at the end?)

Marge, you had a wonderful 52 years and not many people can say that!
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Old 12-30-2006, 12:16 AM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Half Baked
I was really concerned about my son's choice but everyone seems to be very happy so I'm glad I was wrong.

I would have stopped it if I could.
Sounds like you were not wrong. I havent stopped a marriage, but I wish my parents stopped my first one because he was wrong for me. PARENTS, stop it if it's not right when they say " who here objects"
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Old 12-30-2006, 12:20 AM   #17
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i agree with you, ambuh, if the betrothed are young. but after the age of 23 or 24 (even that's too young to get married, imo), ya gotta let them make their own mistakes.
with the exception of actual abuse, of course.
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Old 12-30-2006, 12:28 AM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by buckytom
i agree with you, ambuh, if the betrothed are young. but after the age of 23 or 24 (even that's too young to get married, imo), ya gotta let them make their own mistakes.
with the exception of actual abuse, of course.
Yes, if they are young, as I assumed they were in the situation with half baked. Your right though, even early twenties is too young to marry but we have to let them make their decisions.
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