Dining out sure has changed..

[Kayelle]

in the last 10 years. This amazing article shows why. Don't miss the comments at the bottom.

NY Restaurant Figures Out Surprising Reason for Customer Complaints

 

[creative]

Well the changes in customer habits all seem good to me, i.e. more interactive with staff and more critical of the food they are presented - meaning they are less able to be fobbed off with sub standard fare.

 

[Addie]

I think the wait staff need training in how to return rudeness back to the customer. A simple "I'm sorry, we are not allowed to take group photos. We are only allowed to wait table as fast as we can."

If they haven't touched their food in the first three minutes, the wait person can go over and ask if there is a problem with their food. "I've noticed you haven't eaten very much. Do you want to return it to the kitchen with your complaint? "

That empty chair you put all you stuff on? Just like they remove the non used table setting, removed any extra chairs.

There are ways to call attention to their rudeness.

Lastly, take down the facebook site and not read their complaints. Don't give the customer a place to voice their complaints.

 

[CarolPa]

We eat out a lot and although we have seen a lot of people talking or texting, we've never seen people taking pictures of their food or of each other, but the places we go to eat are not usually places who cater to the younger crowd. In other words, we go for the senior citizen early birds. LOL

DH is very picky about where he sits and will request a specific section or table. We go out to eat because we are hungry. We order, we eat, we leave. I do notice that many people are with groups and for them it is a social situation where they spend a lot of time talking and visiting with each other. I don't see that as a problem as long as they don't blame waits on the staff. When we are finished, DH wants the check so we can leave. I think sometimes if a server is very busy, she will let you wait for the check so she doesn't get a new group at that table. It let's her get a breather. Others want more tips, so they are trying to clear away the dishes while you're still eating. The thing that bothers me is when either the server or the manager stops at the table every 3 minutes asking how everything is. But if you really need something, the server is no where in sight.

 

[Addie]

There are many of us who have at one time or another, been a waitperson. I can still remember one customer I had 40 years ago. Her and her daughter came in every Friday night. The worst night to have a difficult customer. But I loved serving these two. If they were to be seated elsewhere, the mother would say that she would wait until they could sit in my section. The daughter was in a facility for special needs folks. The mother picked her up every Friday and brought her home for the weekend. But first they stopped at the restaurant. They always ordered the lobster special. The daughter made the biggest mess. But she was so happy to be allowed in a restaurant, you couldn't help but love her. The mother was so grateful that her child was allowed in a restaurant and they didn't have to go to the drive-thru at McDonald's. Sure it took me longer to clean the wall, table, floor and any empty chair. But I didn't care. The happiness of these two, had to be contagious. Sometimes at the beginning when they first started to show up, I would see the mother trying to clean up some of the mess before they left. The mother always left a good tip.

Then a couple of Fridays went by and they didn't show up. Then the mother came in alone. Her daughter had died. She got the Friday night special on the house. A couple of weeks later an envelope came in the mail to the restaurant with Att.: Adele the waitress. In it was the most touching letter with a sizable check. The chef in the kitchen also got a letter and check along with some of the other staff. For the rest of the night, my customers had a very weepy server. The mother occasionally would come and I can promise you she always got the very best service of the very top restaurant in the country. Not because of the checks, but because she became a very favorite customer. The check has been long gone, but I still have my memory of these two favorite customers.

 

[taxlady]

Well the changes in customer habits all seem good to me, i.e. more interactive with staff and more critical of the food they are presented - meaning they are less able to be fobbed off with sub standard fare.

They aren't more critical of the food. They are sending food back to be reheated because it got cold while they were faffing with their phones. It probably would have tasted better without reheating.

The problem is that people are complaining about the slow service that they cause.

I don't know why that wait person minds the pix of the food. I sometimes post them on FaceBook and when friends see pix and a comment that the food was great, they are more likely to try that resto.

 

[taxlady]

Lovely story Addie.

 

[creative]

They aren't more critical of the food. They are sending food back to be reheated because it got cold while they were faffing with their phones. It probably would have tasted better without reheating.

The problem is that people are complaining about the slow service that they cause.

I don't know why that wait person minds the pix of the food. I sometimes post them on FaceBook and when friends see pix and a comment that the food was great, they are more likely to try that resto.

Oh I see...sorry, I didn't pick that up - not something I have seen happen here in UK but then I don't dine out a lot.

They say FB is a factor in forums becoming inactive.....(I am on 2 other forums, apart from this one, and they are suffering/slowly becoming more inactive).

 

[Zagut]

Don't miss the comments at the bottom.

The comments are usually the best part.


I like this one.

"Can humans just give up and let penguins try the intelligent species thing? We've pretty much struck out."

 

[Katie H]

Whether or not the account is true or fake, it only points out that good manners have been forgotten and/or are totally disregarded by way too many people.

Those diners who simply have to be connected in some way to their cell phones are almost like hardened addicts who cannot live without their drugs.

How in the world would they have managed in days, not to long passed, before cell phones were only part of someone's imagination? None of us died or exploded because we missed a perceived "important" call. In this instance, define "important."

Courtesy and good manners dictate that consideration be given those who are serving us and wish to provide a pleasant dining experience for us. It works both ways, people! Being a good diner requires that we do our part, too.

I suppose it's because of my age, the way I was brought up and the region in which I lived (the South) that shaped my views.

No male ever came to the table with his hat/cap on no matter how casual or formal the meal. Not a single fork or spoon was lifted until everyone was seated, nor did anyone leave the table until the last person ate all they wished and indicated they were done.

I think a lot of what drives behavior today is that, for some reason, we feel we always have to be in a hurry. Yes, schedules are tight and we pursue a variety of activities and jobs account for much of our time, some of which is our "free" time.

However, if dining out is meant to be a pleasant and relaxing activity, make it so. Take your time. Turn off your phones, engage in conversation with those around you. Talk to people face-to-face and really participate in your time around the table. Your food will taste better, it will probably remain at an acceptable temperature and the service will be good.

Oop! Got carried away. I'll get off my soapbox now.

 

[Addie]

I am so grateful I taught my kids manners. The problem is that when they put them into practice, other younger folks look at them with a quizzical look as if to say, "What are you doing?"

 

[chiklitmanfan]

"We have met the enemy and they are US." We have wrapped our minds around this smartphone technology to the extent that Einstein declared (and I paraphrase) "We have become a nation of idiots."

Aside from all that, my wife and I have never considered eating out a good value. The food is normally loaded with too much fat, too much salt, or too much sugar and handled with questionable cleanliness. The atmosphere at most places is not conducive to good conversation because of the acoustics in most eateries. (remember before smartphones when we actually conversed with each other?) Coffee or tea for $2.50 or more? You gotta be kidding. Wine for $7.00 to $$$$$ a glass? Our friends would much rather get together by bringing our food offerings and fellowship in the peace and intimacy of a host home.

 

[Kayelle]

Let me get on that soapbox with you Katie. I agree with every word you said, especially this.."However, if dining out is meant to be a pleasant and relaxing activity, make it so. Take your time. Turn off your phones, engage in conversation with those around you. Talk to people face-to-face and really participate in your time around the table."
It's down right insulting to me to have a cell phone an active member of the table.

 

[creative]

The way I see it, it is a 2 way situation re. someone on their mobile whilst you are out with them. I would tolerate the odd text or call but not if it is intrusive. Where people lack manners, it is never too late to turn this around, i.e. we are all influenced by our peer groups so if it was seen as rude/insulting to have conversation interrupted with a call, then it is up to us to not just bite our lip and stay silent but to stand up for our beliefs!!! I have no problem with this but people tend to be superficially polite, i.e. not authentic. I see it everywhere - there's a saying "life is real when you are". Those who favour politeness don't realise it is possible to voice an opinion tactfully, i.e. diplomacy is key.

 

[Zagut]

Hmmmmmm........

 

[chiklitmanfan]

Creative, I see you are from the U K. Unless this insidious practice we are discussing has indeed spread to your Isle and the continent, most Europeans have learned the fine art of dining. (We have not visited the UK or continent for about 15 years so I may be way behind the curve)

 

[Katie H]

The way I see it, it is a 2 way situation re. someone on their mobile whilst you are out with them. I would tolerate the odd text or call but not if it is intrusive. Where people lack manners, it is never too late to turn this around, i.e. we are all influenced by our peer groups so if it was seen as rude/insulting to have conversation interrupted with a call, then it is up to us to not just bite our lip and stay silent but to stand up for our beliefs!!! I have no problem with this but people tend to be superficially polite, i.e. not authentic. I see it everywhere - there's a saying "life is real when you are". Those who favour politeness don't realise it is possible to voice an opinion tactfully, i.e. diplomacy is key.

True enough, creative. We've become the "have a nice day" and "how are you" mentality, robotic if you will. The "nice day" is just a collection of words that have come to have no real meaning and inquiring as to how one is means little as well.

Sadly, some of what I see when I am out is a collection of doormats who appear to have little spine and no gumption to stand up to things that should be addressed as you say in a tactful way. Diplomacy isn't something only relegated to nations, it's something we can all practice.

Yes, there is a way to let someone know that a word or act is bothersome. Even though we wish to call someone a jerk outright, especially if they are, we have to couch our words in a way in which to convey our annoyance or displeasure courteously. Therein lies the rub.

Unfortunately, many I see - many of our youth - feel the need to express this sort of situation with the single digit salute, which can result in escalating the situation. No diplomacy there.

I think, at least for myself, I have to weigh how important my fight/cause is and act accordingly, along with taking into consideration the setting in which the incident takes place. I learned a long time ago that there are some things that are really, really not worrying about or getting my bloomers in a bunch over.

However, I will say that I do have certain standards and principles and prefer to live my life accordingly. And...some of that includes manners for all and basic human consideration.

 

[Cheryl J]

Well said, Katie.

It's annoying to hear people speak loudly on their phones, or hear text alerts going off continuously at the next table when I'm in a restaurant. I have taken occasional food pics in a restaurant before, but inconspicuously as possible (and never in a fine dining restaurant), and wait till I get home to load them. I'm there to eat and talk with the people I'm with.

And as to the "have a nice day" response from many folks nowadays that seem to have no inflection or well-meaning to it....another pet peeve I have is when I'm being handed my purchases in a store, I say "Thank you", and instead of saying "you're welcome", the clerk says "no problem". That's happening more and more.

 

[GotGarlic]

Sadly, some of what I see when I am out is a collection of doormats who appear to have little spine and no gumption to stand up to things that should be addressed as you say in a tactful way. Diplomacy isn't something only relegated to nations, it's something we can all practice.
...
Yes, there is a way to let someone know that a word or act is bothersome. Even though we wish to call someone a jerk outright, especially if they are, we have to couch our words in a way in which to convey our annoyance or displeasure courteously. Therein lies the rub.

Here's an option: Miss Manners: Cellphone discourtesy defeats host's careful planning - The Washington Post

 

[Kayelle]

The way I see it, it is a 2 way situation re. someone on their mobile whilst you are out with them. I would tolerate the odd text or call but not if it is intrusive. Where people lack manners, it is never too late to turn this around, i.e. we are all influenced by our peer groups so if it was seen as rude/insulting to have conversation interrupted with a call, then it is up to us to not just bite our lip and stay silent but to stand up for our beliefs!!! I have no problem with this but people tend to be superficially polite, i.e. not authentic. I see it everywhere - there's a saying "life is real when you are". Those who favour politeness don't realise it is possible to voice an opinion tactfully, i.e. diplomacy is key.

While I certainly agree with you in theory, Americans tend to be a bit more practical with reality in matters like this. Case in point is this quote by the author Robert Heinlein: “Never try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and it annoys the pig.”