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Old 03-06-2012, 10:13 AM   #1
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Funeral For A Homeless Man

As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a paupers’ cemetery in the back country.

As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn’t stop for directions.

I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.

I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn’t know what else to do, so I started to play.

The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I’ve never played before for this homeless man.

And as I played ‘Amazing Grace,’ the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.

As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, “I never seen nothin’ like that before and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”

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Old 03-06-2012, 10:16 AM   #2
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Got me. Do you really play the bagpipes?
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Old 03-06-2012, 10:18 AM   #3
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No, but I am a fan of them.
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Old 03-06-2012, 10:58 AM   #4
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Great, GB. I read it aloud to Glenn and I thought he was going to split a rib.

Your thread couldn't be more timely for us because we're in the throes of preparing Glenn's mother's home for sale (We moved her to an assisted living facility 10 days ago.) and the utility worker just marked the cable lines so when the new septic system is put in tomorrow there won't be any mishaps.

I'm thinking seriously about printing out your joke and taping it to the refrigerator so we can keep our sanity...or what's left of it.

Thanks for a great laugh!!!!
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Old 03-06-2012, 12:35 PM   #5
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Sometimes I could just kick myself for being so dang gullible!

You had me hook line and sinker with tears in my eyes thinking what a wonderful guy you are........ACKKKK

No worries, you're still a great guy, just a little twisted.
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Old 03-06-2012, 12:42 PM   #6
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You psyched me good. I started to weep as I was reading. Geez, I'm a wimp.
Good one BTW.
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Old 03-06-2012, 12:44 PM   #7
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I was very touched, for a minute. Too funny
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Old 03-06-2012, 12:51 PM   #8
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Ya got me good on that one!
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Old 03-06-2012, 01:11 PM   #9
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I will admit I got a bit chocked up when I was reading it the first time.
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Old 03-06-2012, 01:27 PM   #10
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GB, you really are a true friend.

I read this and had a feeling there was a punchline. My Dad would have totally loved that - and I did too. When we have the internment on Monday I am going to imagine you (in full kilt) standing by playing Amazing Grace on the bagpipes!

Thanks you my friend for giving me something to smile about!
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Old 03-06-2012, 02:14 PM   #11
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That just made my day Laurie! I am so glad you got something out of this joke! And I hope you do iimagine me playing the bagpipes. I will even play in tune
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Old 03-06-2012, 04:26 PM   #12
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only after reading comments are realised that that was a joke. Took me two more time to read to get it.
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Old 03-06-2012, 09:42 PM   #13
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I love this! Had seen it before, so I didn't fall for it again!
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Old 03-06-2012, 09:51 PM   #14
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Great GB...BTW, you owe me a new cushion for my chair...
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Old 03-07-2012, 01:38 AM   #15
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since i knew you didn't play the pipes and write in the first person like that, i knew something was up.

it still was funny and a good one to remember for an irish pub on st. pat's.
thanks geebs.
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Old 03-07-2012, 03:55 AM   #16
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I love it GB its so jewish
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