Humor

[gwkr36a]

A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. Her mother asked, "How was the honeymoon?"
"Oh mom," she replied, "The honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic."
Suddenly she burst out crying, "But mom as soon as we returned Sam started using the most horrible language...things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4 letter words.! You've got to come and get me and take me home...please mom."
"Sarah," he mother said, "calm down. Tell me, what could be so awful?"
"Please don't make me tell you," cried the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed, they're just too awful! Come get me please!"
"Darling, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible 4 letter words!"
Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh mom, they were words like.dust,wash, iron, cook."
_________________________________________________________________

The aspiring psychiatrists were attending their first class on emotional extremes.
"Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from Arkansas, "What is the opposite of joy?"
"Sadness," said the student.
"And the opposite of depression," he asked the youg lady from Oklahoma.
"Elation," she said.
"And you sir." he said to the young man from Texas, "How about the opposite of woe?"
The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddy-up."

 

[Half Baked]

The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddy-up."

Hahahahhahah!

 

[middie]

Oh mom, they were words like.dust,wash, iron, cook."


lol man that sounds like me !

 

[pdswife]

heheheh, dust? Iron? Cook....? What is that?

 

[Raven]

The aspiring psychiatrists were attending their first class on emotional extremes.
"Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from Arkansas, "What is the opposite of joy?"
"Sadness," said the student.
"And the opposite of depression," he asked the youg lady from Oklahoma.
"Elation," she said.
"And you sir." he said to the young man from Texas, "How about the opposite of woe?"
The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddy-up."

I tried to "Woo" my lady love, but her reply was "Sooie".

~ Raven ~ (In Arkansas )

For those not raised on a Southern hog farm, to call a hog you call "WHOO Pig" and to shoo them away you holler "Sooie! Sooie" thus such coloquilisms as "I'm so tired I couldn't holler sooie if the hogs had me down".

 

[cloudybutnice]

On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The
turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is
struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it.
Screaming, she stands up in front of the plane. "I'm too young to
die!"she wails. "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on
earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of sex in my life, but no one has
ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I've had it! Is there ANYONE
on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??"

For a moment, there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own
peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of
the plane.
Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel
like a woman," he says. He's gorgeous. Tall, well built, with long,
flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle,
unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves.
The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the stranger
approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as
he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling
woman, and whispers:



"Iron this."

 

[YT2095]

an Egg and a Sausage in a frying pan, the Sausage says "is it just me or is it getting a little Hot in here?"
the Egg screams out "Oh My GOD! a Talking Sausage!!!!"

 

[kitchenelf]

an Egg and a Sausage in a frying pan, the Sausage says "is it just me or is it getting a little Hot in here?"
the Egg screams out "Oh My GOD! a Talking Sausage!!!!"

That's soooooo not funny I can't stop laughing!!!!!!!!!!!!1