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Old 09-25-2007, 07:00 AM   #1
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I don't know what to do.

Last night my mom called my brother and I to her room. She told us she had a doctors appointment today... She has.... breast cancer. My dad is away on a business trip and he doesn't know. My grandparents don't know yet either. I don't want to do anything right now... but I have so much stuff to do....

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Old 09-25-2007, 08:19 AM   #2
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Your mom will need lots of support to make it through. If she hasn't told anyone else yet, you need to find out from her how she wants to let people know. She should tell your dad but maybe you can let your grandparents and other family members know for her. Ask her what you can do to help. Sometimes there will be nothing you can do but sit with her. Remember that breast cancer is not the death sentence it used to be. There are many new treatments out there and chances are good that she will beat this. Life will change over the coming months as she goes through treatment and you may have to take on more than you have in the past. Don't forget to pray. Keep a positive attitude for her and yourself. You can be strong and remember the best Bible verse is "and it came to pass" it didn't come to stay!
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Old 09-25-2007, 08:31 AM   #3
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Gobo - I am so sorry to hear of this news. I know you must be in a state of shock, as I am sure your mom is too. What should you do? I don't know. I wish I could tell you. Be your mom's strength right now - and pull your strength from those around you, including us here. Your mom has a battle ahead of her - I know you will be there for her and we are here for you.
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Old 09-25-2007, 08:53 AM   #4
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Oh, Gobo, I'm sorry to hear of this trial that you and your family has to battle!

I'm sure that you, your brother and your mom are still reacting to the news, and not knowing what to do right away is normal. You all need a little time to REACT; ACTION will come later.

I think if you focus on your mom and what she wants and needs, you both will feel better.

Sending positive thoughts and energies your way, that everything will turn out just fine!

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Old 09-25-2007, 09:32 AM   #5
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Gobo: I am really sorry about your mother news. Remember that now there are treatments, there is hope that she could get well again. What she needs now is to know that she is not alone in her fight, so apart to helping her during the tratments, give her a good dosis of love and affection, telling her I love you Mom! because sometimes we need to hear it.
You and your family will be in my prayers
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Old 09-25-2007, 10:37 AM   #6
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So sorry to hear your news. But now this isn't as bad as it was say 20-30 years ago. Heck they have improved the survival rate in the last 5 years.
Ask your mom how she wants to handle it. If she wants you to help by talking to some of the folks that need to know, for her. Or maybe being there as she herself tells the appropriate parties.
My heart goes out to you. Stay strong and Take care of both your mom and yourself. She needs you.
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Old 09-25-2007, 10:50 AM   #7
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Gobo,
Sorry to hear about your mother's illness and know you're not alone. When my mom was diagnosed with cervical cancer, I too was shocked but took the time to be with her through her doctors' visits and explanations about the disease and treatments. I made sure to be with her throughout her hospital stay (even if it meant taking time away from work and my family). Let her know she's not alone in this and that you and your brother as well as all the family are there to support her. Become familiar with her type of cancer, treatment and any and all support groups out there that can help. Remember to pray and stay strong. Keep us posted.
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Old 09-25-2007, 11:01 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by goboenomo View Post
Last night my mom called my brother and I to her room. She told us she had a doctors appointment today... She has.... breast cancer. My dad is away on a business trip and he doesn't know. My grandparents don't know yet either. I don't want to do anything right now... but I have so much stuff to do....
Dear goboenomo, Now is the time to take heart. Tell your mother that waiting is not an agreeable answer to the situation. Ask her if she wants to tell your father or does she want you to - likewise with the rest of the family.
If your father will be back in two or three days ok. If it's an extended trip it's not ok. My dear friend, none of us will go to our graves thinking - If I had just stayed on that trip rather than returning home everything would have worked out. Will never happen. Your father does not want to be left out.

Please gently let her know that treatment must begin now. We all want to deny and put off - the good Lord knows I am that way. Age and a few hard knocks has taught me different.

God Bless your mother and your family.
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Old 09-25-2007, 11:41 AM   #9
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I hope she will be fine. My prayers go out to you, to your mom and the family.
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Old 09-25-2007, 05:57 PM   #10
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gobo - I agree with what the others have said, and can't offer much else except that my thoughts are with you. I wish you, your mother and your family all the strength to beat this.
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Old 09-25-2007, 06:21 PM   #11
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Dear gobo. I imagine you feel as though you've been hit by a bat from behind. You're probably in shock and scared. I understand and I can understand how your mother feels. A number of years ago I discovered a lump in one of my breasts while showering on a Friday morning. I called the doctor immediately but, of course couldn't get in to see him until Monday.

I didn't know what to do. At first, I thought I'd keep it to myself until I went to see the doctor, but that meant I had to keep it from Buck for the entire weekend. Actually, I told him by the afternoon and I was glad because I was more scared than I'd ever been in my life. I don't think I could've made it through the weekend if I'd kept my news to myself.

Having said all this, if your father will be home in a couple of days, encourage your mother to tell him as soon as he gets home. If he's supposed to be away for an extended period of time, encourage him to come home or tell your mother to urge him to come home even if she has to give him the serious news over the phone. They both will need each other's love and support through this. My guess is they have been together about 20 years and will be experiencing your mother's illness together.

Do what you can to love and support both your parents and your brother. You may have to gather strength you don't think you have and smile when you feel like crying. Hang on.

The good news is that medicine has made fantastic advances in breast cancer treatment and it doesn't have to be the death sentence it once was. Think positively and learn everything you can about your mother's treatment so you can help your family.

You have a lot on your plate right now...job challenges and school. Try to do your best to keep a balance and lean on us here at DC when you need a shoulder or a hug. We love you and are praying for you and your family.
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Old 09-25-2007, 06:44 PM   #12
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My thoughts and prayers are with you.
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Old 09-25-2007, 07:09 PM   #13
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Strength to you.
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Old 09-25-2007, 07:18 PM   #14
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We are all here for you Gobo, with support and prayers for your Mom and family.
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Old 09-25-2007, 08:54 PM   #15
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Gobo, I don't know what to say. Please know that, as others have said, there have been major medical advances in this field. Get the information, help your mother to process it. Know that thoughts and prayers from your friends, including me, are with you and your mother. I know it's not an easy thing, but I have been through similar situations with people I love, and I know that the outcome can be positive. Wait and see what happens and expect the best, not the worst. You need to have a positive outlook--for your sake as well as for your Mom's. Pessimism is harmful on every level. You need to be strong, regardless of how hard it may be. Hang in there.
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Old 09-25-2007, 09:59 PM   #16
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Gobo I'm sorry. Sending you and your mom possitive thoughts right now.
Stay strong for her. I know it's easier said than done but you can do it.
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Old 09-25-2007, 10:22 PM   #17
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Goboe - hugs to you my friend. Your Mom is in shock. You and your brother are in shock. You say you have "so much stuff to do". You can do them goboe. Life does not have to stop and surely your Mom doesn't want you to put your life on hold. You just have to let your Mom know how much you love her and support her. Your Mom needs to talk to your Dad and your Dad needs to talk to the doctor. Then he can talk to you and your brother. You and your brother cannot shoulder this by yourselves goboe. Your grandparents are another thing. Let your Mom and/or Dad speak with them. You need your Dad's support right now. If you need us all you have to do is let us know - either here or via PM.

One thing about Discuss Cooking goboe - we are family and we hate it when one of us hurts. You hurt and it makes me hurt terribly.
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Old 09-25-2007, 10:41 PM   #18
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My thoughts and prayers are with your mom,you and the rest of your family.Hang in there kid you need to first find out how serious it is and go from there.As others have said medicine has came a long way in this.Another really important thing to remember is to stay positive it can be one of the best healers along with treatment.Just remember you have alot of people here sending prayers,support and positive energy to you and your mom.Stay strong I know you will.
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Old 09-25-2007, 11:31 PM   #19
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My friend My late wife died of ovarian cancer
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Old 09-25-2007, 11:37 PM   #20
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My friend My late wife died of ovarian cancer many years ago before all of the new treatments have come out. If it is real serious get her to the cancer clinic in I think Cincinatti check for sure they have cutting edge technology
and it is rated the best..In the mean time be strong for your mom and brother, love her and do every thing to make her comfortable.. You DO NOT HAVE A DEATH SENTNANCE. Thin positive thoughts, belive that G d will be there for you mom. You have my support and prayers. feel free to PM any time Dave
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