I Need a Little Christmas, Right this Very Minute...

[LPBeier]

Many of you know my story - I have been plagued for the last two years with arthritis and Fibromyalgia pain, and more specifically was crippled up with a bad knee which was operated on twice this year. What you may not know is that I have battled with severe depression since I was about 8 years old.

For many years of my life I got the Christmas Blues, an actual condition which can be linked to clinical and seasonal depression, as well as reaction to the stresses of this time of year. The past couple of years I have overcome this and been fine, but I realized just today that I can't make excuses that my being down and sluggish is just to do with the surgeries, pain and flood in our house. I am in a Christmas Blues depression.

I am being very open about this and not just PMing my close friends here not because I want to air all my baggage, but for two important reasons.
1. I couldn't have gotten through this last year without DC
2. I hope that maybe by speaking out about myself, I can help someone else who for their own reasons is feeling the same.

When I say I need a little Christmas, I mean the true spirit of the holiday - I think my signature says it best.

I don't expect anything from any of you, I just thank you for listening and hope that all of you, not matter what has happened in your life this year, can find a little peace right here at DC as I have.

Oh, Alix, I didn't put this in your coping thread, mainly because I am not and have just admitted that to myself.

Thanks, friends

 

[LadyCook61]

Dear Laurie,
I understand what you are going through. If I can help in any way, let me know. I'm here for you .
LC

 

[Alix]

Laurie, recognition is the first step. Remember that you are very loved here. I know the "blues" is tough, and I hope you get lots of hugs and snuggles from those around you. Touching is the best cure. And since you are in "sunny" BC, may I suggest you find a way to get some extra sunlight? Vitamin D works wonders, and I think they have that new sunlamp thing that helps too. Its not a cure, but it will help.

And you know what? DC wouldn't have been the same without you this year. Whether you're feeling blue or not you always have a word of praise or support for someone in need. Your turn sweetie, {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Laurie}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

 

[miniman]

DC has helped you however you have also helped lots of us at DC witrh your love and your comments. We are having a special Carol Service tomorrow and I wish you could be there - it may not be the silent night but we will be focussing on what Christmas is really about.

 

[pdswife]

Ya know how I feel!

Hey... go to a tanning booth! Sounds funny but it does help!!!

 

[cara]

Laurie,

I have a very close friend in the same situation as you are... there is not much to do for me except listen to her and try to understand...
she is in twice the normal meds and it seems to work quite good..

I hope you'll get over this with the help of all the people here who care for you and to wich you are a important person {{hugs}}

 

[expatgirl]

our experiences shape us.......our friends perfect us...

 

[PieSusan]

(((((Laurie))))) I know how hard this time of year can be. I miss the holidays that I use to share with my parents.

You have recognized the problem--that is step one but I hope that you follow through and seek medical assistance. There are many medications that you can try or your current medication may need adjusting. Don't just reach out here, go and get some real help. Everyone needs help every now and then.

 

[Uncle Bob]

We are volunteering at an outreach banquet tonight and will eat there.

This is one of the most wonderful gifts of all...The gift of ourselves unselfishly to others!
All the things you need -- will be yours tonight!
Peaceful dreams Miss Laurie ---

 

[LPBeier]

Thank you everyone. It is so wonderful to be loved. My best friend just came over with an "early Christmas gift" and a bunch of hugs....Yes, Alix, it is wonderful medicine.

I have a medication that I take twice a day with the option of taking a third at my discretion. I just took the extra one and will stay on it through the holidays. I see my doctor on Tuesday. I am going to rest now until we have to leave for the banquet and I know that yes, Uncle Bob, it will be very healing helping those who have far more problems than I.

I am so glad I took the risk and reached out here. I have been on other sites but there is nothing like DC for compassion, friendship and love. Thank you all.

 

[PieSusan]

Thank you everyone. It is so wonderful to be loved. My best friend just came over with an "early Christmas gift" and a bunch of hugs....Yes, Alix, it is wonderful medicine.

I have a medication that I take twice a day with the option of taking a third at my discretion. I just took the extra one and will stay on it through the holidays. I see my doctor on Tuesday. I am going to rest now until we have to leave for the banquet and I know that yes, Uncle Bob, it will be very healing helping those who have far more problems than I.

I am so glad I took the risk and reached out here. I have been on other sites but there is nothing like DC for compassion, friendship and love. Thank you all.

Now that was the news that I wanted to hear. You have taken the steps you need towards getting better and you have your friends here to lean on. Excellent!!!!

 

[Adillo303]

Laurie,

Possibly the banquet will be a place where you will find come Christmas close by. One time when volunteering to feed the homeless at a church, I felt a warmth I do not feel elsewhere. When we volunteer to feed the senior citizens a similar feeling comes over us.

Helping those that need it so much makes you feel good inside and helps put your life in focus. You are loved and have a lot of friends here. You need to be a frined to have a friend and you certainly do that here.
Please accept our thanks for being a friend to us and know what we are friends to you.

This would not be the same place without you stay with us and us with you.

AC

 

[deelady]

You bring WAY too many smiles to everyone here let alone in your life to not have one yourself my friend!! The second you are feeling a little blue just take a peek into your husbands eyes and let the sparkle of love you see warm you up again!

Feel our hugs and know that you are LOVED!! {{{{{HUGS}}}}}

 

[sattie]

Laurie, it is amazing how a close knit family like DC has can make all the difference in the world, and knowing that you may not ever meet any of these people in person. I feel that the family here at DC has helped me to see the better side of things that are not so positive in my life.

You are well loved here Laurie and I will always be there for you! Chin up sweetie! Smile and know that you have family here to support you!

 

[Dave Hutchins]

I can appreciate how you feel ever sence my wife of 25 yrs passed Christmas to me is just another day to get through. She went out of her way to make christmas special for me and her son. It has been 14 yrs and I miss her so much this time of the year

 

[Maverick2272]

We really were separated at birth weren't we?? I took three today as well, not helping much and I can't even have a cigarette anymore which is my usual crutch!!!
Chin up and smile, another month and we are thru the holiday season!

 

[buckytom]

lp, et al,

this life we have is a gift. that's why it's called the present, i guess.

it's difficult at times, but if you look for it, you can find little joys, or silver linings as it were in just about any situation that will help to keep your perspective as such.

i can't tell you of my grief, because it in no way compares to anyone elses. same goes for everyone. but i do know that we each have this gift, and if we make the best of it, we will be rewarded. that much i'm sure of.

the rest, someone like gw or many others, can describe in better detail.(maybe too much, sit down, gw). i just know that i feel it; the connection with my fellow dc'ers, and relatives, and friends. we are a part of each other now, and that is something quite remarkable.

so never think that you're not needed or important, or just living a small, unnoticed life. you are my friend, and so many other's here, and that means a lot. a lot to us.

within that friendship and brotherhood, you bring us a little closer to the one. the one where we really will be all together as one.

so, merry christmas, happy hannukah, happy kwanzaa, happy eid, and whatever else anyone wants to celebrate. (ok, no buddhists at the hot dog stand. i get it already, one with everything...)

we can do no better than love, and that's the best gift anyone can give.

and it's free, if your soul is willing.

so if nothing else, know that you are loved.

 

[Barbara L]

I'm so glad you are here Laurie. You are one of the nicest people I know, and you bring something very special to DC.

Alix mentioned Vitamin D. I have been taking that and B-Complex and have noticed some difference.

I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and that 2009 is a better year.

Barbara

 

[LPBeier]

Wow, what can I say after that! Thanks Tom, and everyone.

I went to my outreach banquet and it was definitely the medicine I needed to see what this season is all about. I was hugged so much tonight and saw so many people who were blessed by our efforts and that is the gift.

When I went culinary school at 46 years old, I knew that it wasn't to open some wonderful 5 star restaurant or even become famous in my chosen field of catering. I knew it was a gift from above to help serve better those in need and that is what I did tonight.

I feel so much love tonight - from all of you, all of them, my wonderful DH who was keeping a loving watchful eye all night and the One Above. I know I am not alone in feeling the Christmas blues, but I also know I am not alone in the struggle to overcome it.

I think I just needed to talk it out and admit it to myself. Thanks for listening.

I am going to get a good sleep tonight and then take another crack at this Christmas preparation thing tomorrow! I think, no I KNOW, I will have more success now.

If anyone else is down, please PM me or write here because I just found out that this is a safe place to be vulnerable.

Love to all and to all a good night.

 

[pdswife]

Sleep well and dream sweet!