GB
Chief Eating Officer
I had a real horrible situation come up this weekend that is making me sick to me stomach. I got into a huge fight with my mother. Here is the background.
My mother babysits for us about 2 days a week. We are very fortunate and thankful to have her for that. My wife leaves notes each day for everything from feeding times, to what Rachel should eat, to rules we have put in place, and just about anything else you could think of. Well one of the notes last week said something along the lines of not giving Rachel any foods that we have not specifically said we OK. My wife stressed about how to word it to make sure it did not sound out of line or pushy or anything.
Mom babysat for us this Saturday. When we got home she told us about how she gave Rach some sort of cereal thing. She told this to my wife when I was in the other room. This was something that was not on our approved food list. My wife told me about this the next day.
So I call mom to tell her something and I mention the note and ask if she read it. She said yes. I ask her about the part about not feeding her stuff we have not OK'ed. She said the note didnt say anything about that. I had the note right in front of me so I read it and sure enough she was right, so I said sorry and hung up. I called my wife and found out she meant a note from a few days ago, not the one I was looking at. I called mom back and told her so. Then she floored me. Her response to that was "So sue me". I could not believe she just said that. It was like she was telling me that I don't care what is in the notes, I am going to do as I please. Well we got into a screaming match. She was mad at me for yelling at her. i was mad at her for disregarding what we told her and thinking she can do whatever she wants with our daughter with no regard for our wishes. I felt I had ever right in the world to yell at her.
A side note is that this is not the first time she has pulled something like that. there was something else that mom was doing that greatly bothered my wife, but she was too nervous to tell my mom, so I spoke to her. I talked to her multiple times, but she kept doing what I asked to not to do. It was only when my wife finally said something to her that she stopped doing it.
I told me brother this story and he thinks I should apologize for hurting her even if I do not feel I should. He think I am completely right in this case, but both mom and I are extremely stubborn people and he thinks I should be the bigger person and say sorry. I am having a VERY hard time with this as I feel like if I say sorry then she will think I did not have a right to get upset and that is the last thing I want to convey. I also feel she should be the one to come to me and ask for forgiveness. In all fairness, she did apologize on the phone, but it was not a sincere apology. It was more of a yelling apology, something like "FINE I am SORRY, What else do you want me to say???"
So what do you guys think? I need advice!
My mother babysits for us about 2 days a week. We are very fortunate and thankful to have her for that. My wife leaves notes each day for everything from feeding times, to what Rachel should eat, to rules we have put in place, and just about anything else you could think of. Well one of the notes last week said something along the lines of not giving Rachel any foods that we have not specifically said we OK. My wife stressed about how to word it to make sure it did not sound out of line or pushy or anything.
Mom babysat for us this Saturday. When we got home she told us about how she gave Rach some sort of cereal thing. She told this to my wife when I was in the other room. This was something that was not on our approved food list. My wife told me about this the next day.
So I call mom to tell her something and I mention the note and ask if she read it. She said yes. I ask her about the part about not feeding her stuff we have not OK'ed. She said the note didnt say anything about that. I had the note right in front of me so I read it and sure enough she was right, so I said sorry and hung up. I called my wife and found out she meant a note from a few days ago, not the one I was looking at. I called mom back and told her so. Then she floored me. Her response to that was "So sue me". I could not believe she just said that. It was like she was telling me that I don't care what is in the notes, I am going to do as I please. Well we got into a screaming match. She was mad at me for yelling at her. i was mad at her for disregarding what we told her and thinking she can do whatever she wants with our daughter with no regard for our wishes. I felt I had ever right in the world to yell at her.
A side note is that this is not the first time she has pulled something like that. there was something else that mom was doing that greatly bothered my wife, but she was too nervous to tell my mom, so I spoke to her. I talked to her multiple times, but she kept doing what I asked to not to do. It was only when my wife finally said something to her that she stopped doing it.
I told me brother this story and he thinks I should apologize for hurting her even if I do not feel I should. He think I am completely right in this case, but both mom and I are extremely stubborn people and he thinks I should be the bigger person and say sorry. I am having a VERY hard time with this as I feel like if I say sorry then she will think I did not have a right to get upset and that is the last thing I want to convey. I also feel she should be the one to come to me and ask for forgiveness. In all fairness, she did apologize on the phone, but it was not a sincere apology. It was more of a yelling apology, something like "FINE I am SORRY, What else do you want me to say???"
So what do you guys think? I need advice!