I'm just waitin' on a friend.

[Constance]

Tom, if there's one thing I've learned in life, it's how to forgive...not only the transgressors, but myself. I'm not talking about anything religious here. I'm just saying that holding anger in our hearts, whether at ourselves or others, is not only a terrible waste of mental energy, but an emotion that can make us sick, physically and/or mentally.
I hope and pray for the best outcome in this situation, but whatever happens, forgive him, and forgive yourself.

 

[PA Baker]

Bucky, I'm so sorry that you have to endure this right now. I'm keeping you and Ozzy in my thoughts. {hugs}}

 

[Fisher's Mom]

I don't even know what to say, bt. Having to face the idea of losing someone who was so much a part of your life is just dreadful. And then, to have had a falling out, it must make it doubly hard. But you're on the right track - go and see your friend as soon as you can. Whatever you argued about won't be of any importance. We're all imperfect - that's why we have friends in the first place. They love us warts and all even though they don't have to. It's clear to all of us that your love Ozzy and it will be clear to him, too. BTW, we love you, too, so keep us up on how your friend and you are doing.

 

[buckytom]

thanks for the kind and wise words everyone.

ozzy's still hanging in there. we talked over the phone, but he was unable to speak for long.

he went to the transplant hospital's emergency room last night and was admitted. he's going through a series of tests so they're ready if a heart becomes available.

i'm going to see him tonight. all i can do is hope for a miracle.

 

[Fisher's Mom]

This is the season to believe in miracles so I'll be hoping for one for Ozzy. I hope your visit gives both of you much joy and peace. Keep us posted, bt.

 

[Chief Longwind Of The North]

Bucky; You and me, we are bros too. And I can tell you from experience that saying you love someone too late hurts for a very long time. Get to Ozzy and let him know that you and he are forevever freinds and more. Let him know that whether or not he gets the heart, your freindship will go on from either side of live, mortal, or afterlife. And let him know that no matter what, you will see each other again, and share good times.

Whatever caused the "falling out" was probably some silliness and is unimportant. If he was at fault, apologize to him for taking offense and ask for forgiveness. If you were at fault, make it right, again apologize, and ask for forgiveness. Talk to your freind. Let him know that you are his freind. Be there for him, and for you.

Seeeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North

 

[buckytom]

thanks f-mom and gw.

i'm just trying to stop crying about it. i've never hurt this badly about anything before.

i feel so bad that i was a coward and cut him out of my life instead of facing this sooner. i'm glad my wife went to see him with my son when he called last summer. at least he got to meet my boy. i owe her for that.

i took for granted that someday we'd be those two old guys in the balcony on the muppet show, watching the world go by and having a laugh.

i will follow all of the advice given here, and let him know how i feel. it sure is a test of your faith, ya know?

 

[Uncle Bob]

Good report BT...I'm Glad you gonna get to see him!! All will be well between you two!!

 

[Fisher's Mom]

buckytom, try and remember that we have all done things that were cowardly or hurtful or wrong because we are human. It's how we address them that shows our true character. You could have said, wow, I shouldn't have cut this guy out but...... Instead, you have opened yourself and faced your mistake and even bared it to the community here. I'd say that makes you a very big man. I'm sure Ozzy has regrets, too, and maybe together, you can both make peace with your own fallibility. For someone facing the uncertainties Ozzy is, that would be a gift beyond measure. I'll be thinking of both of you and waiting to hear about your reunion.
Terry

 

[QSis]

i took for granted that someday we'd be those two old guys in the balcony on the muppet show, watching the world go by and having a laugh.

Orrrrrrrrrrrr like Alan Shore and Denny Crane on their Boston office balcony, sitting in their white leather arm chairs (love those two!)

I knew Ozzy would hang in, Tom! As Terry said, this is the season for miracles!



Lee

 

[mikki]

BT- I'm sure Ozzy understands your feelings when he tried to mend things, even though maybe you weren't speaking, you are best buds. He knows you and how you are, just as you know him and how he is. Friendships like that don't stop just because your not speaking to each other. You are always in each others hearts,regardless of what you are in each others minds.
When you talk to him don't talk with regret, talk with gratitude.
Best of luck to the both of you, you'll be in my thoughts.

 

[kitchenelf]

Bucky - I am praying. I'm so glad he got to meet your son - what a wonderful wife you have, huh? I've got my arms wrapped around both of you and praying that He is also embracing both of you right now.

 

[LEFSElover]

I just read this report again BT. Any new reports yet?

 

[buckytom]

hiya lefse.

i finally got to see him last night. he didn't look as bad as i thought he would, but he couldn't speak for more than a few minutes at a time. he kept fading in and out of consciousness.
we talked about what happened to our friendship, but it was a little difficult to do it in short bursts. there was a lot to cover. but mostly it was that we were both sorry for having let things go. i think he understands a little better about why i stopped speaking to him, and that i feel terribly about how i handled this. unfortunately, while the basis for our falling out was due to his uncontrolled drug use and other issues, a lot of it had to do with his ex-wife. he's still in touch with her since her kids (from a previous marriage. ozzy adopted them when they got married) still live with him. also, she lives only a few blocks away. she's a loser of the first sort, so he and his dad (it's his dad's house) did the right thing and had the kids stay with them when she moved out after the divorce.
ozzy's dad is a great guy, like my second dad. he's been the town's boy scout leader for 30+ years, since we were scouts. it's funny; chatting with him last night when ozzy fell asleep was just like we were 12 again, at a scout meeting. somehow the conversation turned into some interesting trivia about john paul jones and the american revolution. i really missed that.

i'm gonna have to deal with the situation with his ex at some point. i hope i don't strangle her. i know i can't directly blame her, but i keep thinking if ozzy had never met her, he'd probasbly wouldn't have gotten back into drugs after he cleaned up the first time in his late 20's.

well, the good news is that ozzy's being tested 9 ways to sunday now, so they can try different treatments to get the old heart to keep going as long as possible, and to be ready if a transplant becomes available.
at least he's much more comfortable. he's still inches from death, but there's still hope.

i'd really like to believe that it's due in part to the love and energy that you all have sent his way. thank you from, umm, the bottom of my heart.

 

[pdswife]

Bucky... I'm glad that you were able to visit with him. I'm sure YOUR love and energy helped a lot! Friendship and love and human touch have great healing powers.

smiles, T

 

[Andy M.]

BT, sorry I missd this thread earlier.

I feel your heaviness of heart over you friend's situation and your wanting to get to him. You and he are in our thoughts throughout this time. You've known him too long for him not to know you are still his brother.

 

[Michelemarie]

Bucky, I'm sorry - you and your friend are on my prayer list, i'm sorry-a big hug coming your way.

 

[bethzaring]

hey buddy, you are making progress, glad you got to see him and his dad. Don't do anything rash regarding harvesting a heart, j/k, things will work out as they should.

 

[QSis]

Encouraging news, BT!

Thanks again for sharing so much with us!

Lee

 

[Chief Longwind Of The North]

I don't need to say anything. You know how I feel about this. And I know that it hurts to see someone you love take the wrong road (his drug habit) while you are living a better life because you choose to. I knwo how you wish that he would have followed your example.

I know because I have a son that is walking the wrong road (not drugs thanfully, but the road of irresponibility). He's not doing many things wrong, but is wasting his life when he could be striving to make it better. He needs to stop the cigarettes, and the late-night parties with his "bud's".

This of course is nothing compared to the issues your freind has. But it still allows me a bit of insight, and you know how I love my kids, and so it hurts and is frustrating. I understand, especially when you freind took custody of the kids, how you could get as mad as a nest of tromped on yellow-jackets.

The point is, you took the steps to make things right in his time of need. You are his freind. You are his example. You are an example to many of us. Take care of you.

Seeeeya; Goodweed of the North