Katie;
Many have said that they can't imagine how you feel at this time. I can. My parents, and step-father have all passed from mortality to the other side. Each passing felt like a huge piece of my life was ripped from me. Each one hurt, caused a moment or two of intense anger, great remorse, and even regret at things not said, and not done that should have been.
Watching the passing of a loved one is truamatic, painful, and seems impossible to deal with, and yet, we all must pass from this world eventually. I have strong religeous beliefs and a testimony of a living God who is my Father. I knew when my own family passed from this world that they weren't dead, but changed, and not available for me to see, or hear, or interact with. I also knew then, and know now, that I will be with them again, in time. But it still hurt like crazy.
With time, you too will get past the extreme grief that is in your heart. Buck was a great man, and is probably very sorrowful right now that there is so much sadness in his family. But he is also getting to be with those who passed before him. They are welcoming him, and probably asking for a great recipe or two, and sharing wonderful stories about the past lives they lived, and the new experiences that they will all have.
Be of good cheer, Katie. For the time will come when we are all reunited, and we will rejoice with our brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, mothers and fathers, and especially, with our husbands and wives. Buck isn't gone. He's just waiting for you to get to where he's at. In the meantime, live life to its fullest. Give of yoruself to others. Immerse yourself into your family. For as you interact with others, especially when you are doing something good for them, it heals you in ways that no other act can do. And it brings you closer to your Heavenly Father, and to your husband. For he gave of himself to you, his children, and to his freinds. Indeed, his wit and charm lifted people he'd never met, save through this forum.
I won't speak of Buck in the past tense, for he isn't gone. He just isn't available to us right now.
Katie, we are all with you. And our prayers are being said for you. I believe every word I just typed, and even more, I know that they are true. Just the same, it is still a hard thing that you bear. We are here to help you bear it.
Be of good cheer my freind. Buck is waiting for your smile.
Seeeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North
Please remember that you have a very supportive families that love you very much. I will continue to keep you in my prayers though this tough time. God bless you and your family.
