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Old 09-05-2008, 10:31 PM   #1
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Post Life regrets

Hey guys,

In the course of my life so far I’ve come across plenty of people with regrets they’ve had in their own lives. And seeing how life is so incredibly short… I just kind of wanted to see what everyone else’s regrets are.

Career-life objectives?
Relationships?
Family?

It would be pretty cool to learn from each other’s *mistakes* or to see what we would do differently at your age. So I guess when you post… it’ll be cool if you posted your age along with your posting.

I know a lot of people out there also try to live without regrets... and even if you do, it'd be helpful to see something you'd change.. rather than regret.

Here’s mine:
I regret not spending enough time to keep in touch and to foster relationships with the significant people in my life. I feel like I’ve been too distracted with the other aspects of life (work and school primarily) that I just kinda lost touch with people I would rather not have lost touch with… I know its not too late.. but I feel like some relationships have deteriorated too much for full repair..
Age:22

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Old 09-05-2008, 11:22 PM   #2
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hello and welcome to DC

your post might not see a lot of response just because it is so darn depressing. i know where you are coming from and will share one example anyway. one of my best friends from way back in highschool had sort of fallen off the map in our friend group. he was great with music and had moved to s.c. . he was bartending there and had a slot djing for the college radio station. years went by and we did not speak much. he had his own thing going on an so did the rest of us. on the few times he came back into town it was like i had just seen him yesterday. he would bring a new girlfriend and all of us would hit the town. i thought it was cool that no matter how much time passed we could all just meet up and go right back to how it was in the day. then i got the phone call. he was gone. medical complications had taken his life while he was alone at home. he always had roommates before but he had gotten his own place and was moving forward in his life. our core friend base had not talked with him in months. we all rushed to his memorial in s.c. and reunited with his parents and other members of his family. now we all keep better track of each other and value the times we have together in a more profound way. wish i had called or emailed him more often. hope this isn't a big bummer for those who post here but i did feel better having put that out there.
SD

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Old 09-05-2008, 11:26 PM   #3
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Would have been nice to have a direction to move in, other than toward the
parties, in college......
age:47

Life rushes on whether you come along for the ride or not.
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Old 09-05-2008, 11:34 PM   #4
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Welcome to DC rubiksolved-wow-that is deep!!

We all have regrets-I think that the trap we fall into is dwelling on them. The "if only I woulda" mentality does more damage than the thing we regret!!

I could list hundreds of things I "regret", but the truth of the matter is that only a handful of them really matter, and to be honest, I feel that all the things I've ever done, good, bad, right, wrong etc, have made me into the person I am today-and I'm pretty happy with who I am. So I don't leave myself a lot of room for regrets. I don't have a lot of money, but I am rich beyond description. I have my health, a roof over my head and a family who loves me..and whom I love as well.

But anyway, I'm getting off the track. Regrets? Well give me a second..

My Kids-looking back, I wish I'd "been there" for them more when they were children. Not that I neglected them, far from it. But working full time all day, and then moonlighting 4-5 nights a week in various bands didn't leave a lot of time to flex my "Ward Cleaver" persona

Education-Why is it that some of us (me) don't realize the value of a college education until we're too strapped with responsibilities to go??

Family-Now that my folks have passed on, I look back and I see that I never really spent the time with them that I should have. By the time they became ill, the chance at any "quality time" with them had long passed. And now, I can't help but think that my kids will likely do the same to me. Not in a mean malicious way-its just the way life is. Like you said, work and school........

By the way, I'm 49.My wife and I have 5 kids and 11 grandkids. I have to chuckle a bit (no offense) when I read your age-22? You are right when you say that life is fleeting-and at your age I don't think you know how right you really are....but at 22 you can still fix anything. Relationships that have deteriorated, no matter how far, can still be salvaged-if they are worth salvaging-especially, but not exclusively, family.

So then, regrets?-I think ol' blue eyes said it best "regrets-I've had a few, but then again, too few too mention" That pretty much sums it up for me.

Great Thread, great question, (IMHO) rubiksolved. And again, welcome to DC!!
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Old 09-05-2008, 11:39 PM   #5
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Fortunately things have turned out good in my life, and I am headed in a positive direction. If I were to regret anything it would be listening to my idiot boyfriend and running away from home at age 14. Not just that, but that in trying to please the idiot I said that I did it because of my dad. My dad and I have a good relationship now, but we had a very strained relationship for a few years. I cringed every time a story about runaways came on TV, and I was never able to tell him that I didn't do that because of him.

So knowing the heartache and regrets that it caused, my advice for young people is to not let your friends talk you into anything you could regret later. Don't just think of the here-and-now. Take time to think things through, and only do something if it is what you really want.

Barbara
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Old 09-05-2008, 11:45 PM   #6
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I wish I would have paid more attention in history class. I find it quite fascinating now.
age 27
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Old 09-05-2008, 11:53 PM   #7
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I wish I'd spent more time with my grandmother and I wish I'd stood up to my grandfather when he treated her badly.
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Old 09-06-2008, 05:53 AM   #8
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I regret clicking on this thread, but I also know it is not too late to hit the back arrow.....


I regret losing some relationships
And I regret having some relationships
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Old 09-06-2008, 06:11 AM   #9
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I try it live my life with out regrets and im happy to say i only got 3 really and they really done matter becuase I am happy where I am.

7th Grade: Did 1 day of football try outs and was scared of all the running so i quit

21st birthday: Not asking the waitress for her number: she had a killer back side but I was throwing back beers and by the time i got up the corage she didnt come back (she left after she brought our food,)

I cant remember the third becuase its early in the morning but as you can see that they are just things that are minor and trvial but the important part whcih I learned from is to not be scared or hold back from something you want to do.
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Old 09-06-2008, 10:17 AM   #10
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I regret my past drug abuse and what it has done to me and all of my family and friends.
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Old 09-06-2008, 11:20 AM   #11
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regrets, i've had a few; but then again, too few to mention. i did what I had to do, and saw it through without exemption.

i planned each charted course; each careful step along the byway.
but more, much more than this, i did it my way.


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Old 09-06-2008, 11:23 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Barbara L View Post
...So knowing the heartache and regrets that it caused, my advice for young people is to not let your friends talk you into anything you could regret later. Don't just think of the here-and-now. Take time to think things through, and only do something if it is what you really want.

Barbara
Something has been weighing on my mind, and I feel I need to add a P.S. to my advice. My advice here is for parents of girls. I'm sure this is important for parents of boys as well, but it is critical for parents of girls.

Age 14 (and thereabouts) is a critical age for girls. That is the age my mom was when she thought about marrying some dorky kid because she wanted to be loved. That is the age I did I what I wrote about. Girls that age need to feel loved, and they will do whatever they can to get that. The thing is, it really has nothing to do with love so much as feeling needed and wanted. My parents loved me, and I knew it, but we were not a really close "I love you" and touchy feely kind of family (I was very huggy and lovey with my daughter). We also (and this is the biggest thing) didn't talk much about feelings (we did get better about that when I was grown).

So parents, please keep the lines of communication open between you and your kids. It is CRITICAL. It really is. And an "I love you" and a hug go a long way (even when they start acting like they are too old--just don't do it in front of their friends!).

Barbara
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Old 09-06-2008, 11:28 AM   #13
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I regret ever dating Brian Wilk
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Old 09-06-2008, 11:33 AM   #14
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The things I regret are the crossroads in a life lesson where I did not participate.

My parents had a problem. While I have no proof here other than how events progressed, I believe my Mother to have been bipolar (as am I) who developed a severe drinking problem. My Father was an enabler.

Now this may come as a surprise to you, but I was a recalcitrant and obstreperous child. I take after my maternal Grandfather, which is why my Mom was at wits end. (Granddad died just shy of 90 years old, sitting up in bed, eating a dish of ice cream drown in whiskey and chewing out my aunt Margie.)

However, my younger brother got trapped at home when I told my parents to "kiss my tail-light" and I wandered off. I never really left home in the traditional sense. I just got on my Harley and went to Madison on the weekends, and then simply stopped coming back. I wasted four years of my life in college. I should have gone to a trade school, I'm happier now as a knife sharpener.

For all of my bravado in that era, I should have urged my Father to get Mom into detox and rehab. I should have defended my little brother (now a college dean with a Maalox habit) and the moment I turned eighteen I should have enrolled in a trade school making custom cowboy boots.

But, my Dad was wealthy and he could cover up the messes, I was mobile and uncaring, and I didn't realize I was part of a dysfunctional family whether I was there or sunning myself in Sturgis.

Even missing, my Dad and Mom were so cloying and controlling that every meeting was considered an opportunity to rag on the objection du jour, until they drove my wife out of her own home in tears. If I was ever the traditional biker in thought, word and deed, it was that night when my feelings finally flamed from my mouth. It was thirty years overdue.

After that, we didn't see much of each other until the end. I saw Dad one more time until he died in his sleep. Other than at his side then, I did not see mother ever again. She died a few years ago of Alzheimers in a nursing home. And while not the award winning family, it crushed my brother, the true victim.

As is my custom, I made sure that every unkindness bestowed fom my parents was met with failure. They never won any battle over my clothes, my hair, my bikes, my wife, my choice of careers or my family involvement. Failure every time, as I promised.

I made sure that I took part of my inheritance and used it to purchase a new motorcycle. I did that for me.
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Old 09-06-2008, 11:59 AM   #15
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Quote:
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I regret ever dating Brian Wilk
Who is Brian Wilk?
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Old 09-06-2008, 12:03 PM   #16
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he came up with this fantastic site where people could enter informatuion which would be available online as a type on encyclopedia.

but, with his heart broken from a lost love, he sold the idea to another guy who changed the name. wilkipedia just didn't sound right...
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Old 09-06-2008, 12:05 PM   #17
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You're on a tear today BT, lol
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Old 09-06-2008, 12:10 PM   #18
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Leave it to Bucky to make my day better! Thanks Bucky!!!!
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Old 09-06-2008, 12:11 PM   #19
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I regret not cashing in on the internet sooner. I would be a millionaire by now! I should have been building websites a long time ago.
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Old 09-06-2008, 12:21 PM   #20
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My regrets are summed up into ages: 13 thru 17 and 20 thru 26. Yup, would like to redo those years. I was prety bummed 2-3 years ago before I got back into racing. Thinking I was too old, I found that alot of guys/gals my age are racing too.

30 is the new 20.
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