List the Phrases Every Parent Dreads Hearing

[Raven]

After posting to this weeks freeze-frame, I realized that my response was one of those things that every parent dreads to hear. "Hey Mom! Guess what I trapped in the washing machine?".

This got me to thinking about other such potential phrases. Like:

"See? I told you it wouldn't turn into a prince"

"Let's let Dad have a nice dinner first"

"Man! How long has THAT been in there?"

"Now where did we bury Michael?"

"Hey! It got loose!"

What other phrases, as a parent, would you dread to hear or overhear?

~ Raven ~

 

[Chief Longwind Of The North]

My kids are now grown, but here are some of the truly dilightful phrases that most parents hear:

You can't tell me what to do! I'm an adult! (this starts at about 17 years of age)

Don't you even think about spanking me. It's wrong and I could turn you in for child abuse. (this starts with some at about age 12)

Dad, I'm in Trout Lake. I've got a (fill in you favorit phrase here, such as flat tire with no spare, out of gas, etc.) . Could you drive out with (whatever si required to rescue you kid who's 50 to 100 miles from home).

For my birthday dinner, I want lobster tail and grilled rib-eyes, and corn-on-the-cob. And you know that four-layer chocolate cake, with the butterscotch icing you make... (made the mistake of telling them at a young age that they could have any meal they wanted on their birthdays, and then proceeded to introduce them to good food. I know, it's my own fault )


Dad, I wrecked the car.

That's just the tip of the iceburg for all of you parents of youngsters. But even with all of the headaches and trials they put you through as teens, when they grow into the fine adults that they will grow into, given the right guidance and some luck, and you find them calling you one of their best freinds, then it's all worth it. My children are my greatest accomplishment and I love them more than I love my own life. I wouldn't trade a minute of my experiences with them, good or bad.

Seeeeeya; Goodweed fo the North

 

[RMS]

There's been an accident. I'm fine but...

Don't worry, I can handle it. (Immediately start worrying)

(At 10pm) I can't go to sleep now, I've got a book report due tomorrow.

 

[GB]

It was like this when I found it.

He followed me home. Can we keep him?

Do you know how to wash blood out of clothing?

 

[Lizannd]

Hi, Mom, um I'm changing my major.

(said in their junior year)

 

[texasgirl]

My oldest son....."Did you know that if you throw a cigarette into a bucket of gas, it won't catch fire or explode?"

I know this has been tested and shown to be true as the cigarette isn't hot enough to burn the gas, but, just thinking that he has done this on his own

 

[Robo410]

How about:

"Maybe the dentist can put it back in?" (after $5000 of braces) or even worse "Kewl, it looks fine, like I played ice hockey!"

"I think the car's ok...I mean it still drives. But the garage door..."

 

[Jikoni]

My daughter's favorite that drives me nuts is, 'why do you parents always have to tell me what to do, you are very bossy' of course we say, because we are your parents and we know best, and hear my parents voice in me then I cringe all the time!

 

[vyapti]

"Have you seen my snake?"

"Do blood stains come out?"

"Don't worry, I'll clean it up"

 

[VickiQ]

For the parents of a teenage girl-
I met this guy....
Heard after a loud bang after oldest got his license
Does Dennis the younger brother)really ride his bicycle anymore?

 

[urmaniac13]

With the case of Guido, 7, Cris's youngest, rather the absence of any phrase, when he suddenly becomes quiet and makes himself scarce, that spells some trouble...

 

[pdswife]

"look mom!! NO hands.... Look mom!! NO teeth!!!"

 

[Alix]

Any phrase beginning with "Did you know that if you..." is sure to be frightening.

I'm also particularly attuned to the words, "Uh oh! Mom is going to KILL YOU!" or even *crash!* and then dead silence.

 

[Alix]

This is one of my favourites...

Things I've learned from my children (honest and no kidding):

• There is no such thing as child-proofing your house.
• If you spray hairspray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
• A 4-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
• If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Pound Puppy underwear and a Superman cape.
• It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20-by-20-foot room.
• Baseballs make marks on ceilings.
• You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
• When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.
• A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
• The glass in windows (even double paned) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
• When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's already too late.
• Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
• A 6-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies.
• A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.
• If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does not leak, it explodes.
• A king-size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000-square-foot house 4 inches deep.
• Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year-old.
• Duplos will not.
• Play dough and microwave should never be used in the same sentence.
• Super Glue is forever.
• McGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know.
• Ditto Tarzan.
• No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
• Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
• VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
• Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
• Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
• You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
• Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
• Plastic toys do not like ovens.
• The fire department in San Diego has at least a 5-minute response time.
• The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy.
• It will however make cats dizzy.
• Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
• A good sense of humor will get you through most problems in life (unfortunately, mostly in retrospect).

 

[mudbug]

"Don't get mad, but......."

"I have no friends." (I don't hear this now, but I did once and it tore my heart right up.)

"Where's the bleach?"

 

[middie]

I'll dread hearing... " Um mom I don't know how to tell you this but..."

 

[mish]

"I'm pregnant!"

 

[mudbug]

"I'm a little pregnant."

 

[vyapti]

"I'm pregnant!"

My oldest daughter is only 8. I've got a good 12 years before she starts to think about boys.

 

[subfuscpersona]

ummmm, Mom, can I borrow your ....