My friend is very ill.

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Prayers coming your way in the hope your friend has wonderful support and care by the nursing staff at the hospital and in the future if required. Does the hospital have a counsellor where concerns can be raised by family and friends so that all medical routines can be explained that way noone feels discouraged with the hospitals efforts. It can be tough when someone is observing medical staff wizzing by but due to time constraint's unable to explain each step or procedure to worried onlooking family and friends as the patient is the main concern at that time. My field of work at this time is as an Enrolled nurse at a war Veteran's Home where I look after the unit where our dementia diagnosed patient's reside. I can assure you it's a very challenging role and one requiring much patience and dedication and I myself love it because each day is a new day and brings great rewards when I can make a patient's day that much better for being there for them and their needs, it's so much more than just medicating. Trust me you can't help but get attached to each one and insantly become part of your own family because you think about them all the time and believe me when I say fondly remembered when they leave this earth. I have no doubt your friend Wallie will always have good care because they will be loved by you and everyone who will care for Wallie take care lot's of hug's OOOO
 
rose, i don't know if they do or not, will check on it tomorrow. her doctor has seen the daughter only once. would like to think he has seen wallie many times when daughter not there.her daughter went up this afternoon. could not stay long , they are trying to keep her sedated so she can get some rest, still intubated . i am just so down tonight. her daughter said wallie looked so sad, and can't talk. i am assuming that is because of tubes. thanks for the advice about counselor.
 
Poor Wallie - most hospitals have a patient advocate/omsbudsman on staff, but with all the privacy laws, it is unlikely that anyone would talk to you. Maybe the daughter? I know you have indicated that your feelings toward her are not that positive. Maybe try to make friends with one of the nurses? An aide? You might get someone to lisen to your concerns.
 
i spoke to her daughter about then minutes ago. she is still the same and it is not a good thing. they can't get her blood pressure up........three days ago they were trying to get in down.

i am getting scared that she will not make it.
 
babetoo said:
i spoke to her daughter about then minutes ago. she is still the same and it is not a good thing. they can't get her blood pressure up........three days ago they were trying to get in down.

i am getting scared that she will not make it.
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Babetoo - if I were near you I would wrap my arms around you!! You have to put some trust here...trust that things will turn out the way they should. I hope that doesn't sound harsh. She has no quality of life right now, she's going through a lot of very difficult things and may not be able to pull out of this. You wouldn't want her to suffer this way, I just know you wouldn't. You must dig deep and find a calm place within yourself and ask if you truly want her to go on like this. Let me tell you a very personal story. I was sitting at the end of my mother's bed on the very last evening she was alive. I was distraught and beside myself...looking from her to the woman in the bed beside her. I was broken and simply asked - So, we live our lives and this is how it ends...we live ALL our lives and it simply ends like this...it ends with "us" in some place where no one can reach us and we can't reach anyone near us...we can't acknowledge...we can't reach out...we just end...is this how it really ends? Well, let me tell you that I got an answer. I felt this presence in the room and it started at the doorway and I felt it go right through me and for lack of a better term, I felt it "hit" the wall on the other side of me. I felt it completely fill the room. When it did a HUGE voice said "No, this is the beginning." It was so loud it filled every nook and cranny in my brain and at that moment a nurse walked in. I asked her if she heard that...she said heard what? I said that voice. She simply said she heard no voice. Well, I did. This is not the end for your friend, if this is even the end...when it happens, just remember, it's the beginning.
 
Hey babetoo don't be scared just be with your friend whenever you can. The body is a miraculous machine and vital signs fluctuate in recovery the medical staff will know what to do. Don't be afraid to ask a registered nurse of your concern's. All health professionals are trained to support worried loved ones and provide truthful health updates. Anxiety and worry after all will only cause health issues for you and other's who care for Wallie and I'm sure your beautiful friend would never want this for you. Chin up and smile all my thought's prayers are coming your way.
 
Babe,
I know how you love her and I also know you don't want her to suffer..So know that what HIS will is will be what is best for her..She is loved and she knows it in her heart..so just remember sweetie, HIS will be done...I pray she has peace and comfort and does not suffer.
kadesma
 
Babe, I know that you are not yet ready to say goodbye to Wallie. I am so touched by the personal and hopeful experiences that have been shared here, and I believe that we are all so fortunate to be a part of this community. I continue to share your expectation that she will pull out of this. I hope it is soon.
 
kitchenelf said:
Babetoo - if I were near you I would wrap my arms around you!! You have to put some trust here...trust that things will turn out the way they should. I hope that doesn't sound harsh. She has no quality of life right now, she's going through a lot of very difficult things and may not be able to pull out of this. You wouldn't want her to suffer this way, I just know you wouldn't. You must dig deep and find a calm place within yourself and ask if you truly want her to go on like this. Let me tell you a very personal story. I was sitting at the end of my mother's bed on the very last evening she was alive. I was distraught and beside myself...looking from her to the woman in the bed beside her. I was broken and simply asked - So, we live our lives and this is how it ends...we live ALL our lives and it simply ends like this...it ends with "us" in some place where no one can reach us and we can't reach anyone near us...we can't acknowledge...we can't reach out...we just end...is this how it really ends? Well, let me tell you that I got an answer. I felt this presence in the room and it started at the doorway and I felt it go right through me and for lack of a better term, I felt it "hit" the wall on the other side of me. I felt it completely fill the room. When it did a HUGE voice said "No, this is the beginning." It was so loud it filled every nook and cranny in my brain and at that moment a nurse walked in. I asked her if she heard that...she said heard what? I said that voice. She simply said she heard no voice. Well, I did. This is not the end for your friend, if this is even the end...when it happens, just remember, it's the beginning.
Click to expand...

powerful, Elf... I have heard that voice too, Babe, so I know from experience it is so. Please try to relax and let the all encompassing power we can never understand surround you.

Sending you love and peace. :neutral:
 
sorry to report, she is same. don't know yet about intubation tube. her daughter is being her jerky self. i am going to check and see if they will let me in without her...
then i can judge for myself.
 
according to daughter, the intubation tube is out. she is still on oxygen mask. still coughing up yucky stuff. her mental condition is dicy. she talked about a double murder she saw in a bar. never happened. she said she wants more cat. she has six. the nurses keep asking was she suffering from dememtia and from how long. she was not in any fashion demented. i felt was drugs but daughter says not on pain meds. anymore. .

she went to big cheese at hospital and said she wanted her mom evaluated. mentally. for two weeks she has had a very hard time of it. i would be a little mental myself. not trying to gloss it over, but it needs to be assessed. she knows president, date and so on. i feel a tiny bit better but don't think we are out of the woods yet. we have been here before.
 
Babe,
if you've been there before they know who you are. I'd just show up and visit with her..If you get lucky she might be alone and you can just visit and see for yourself how she is doing without anyone interfering. I pray you find her doing better,
kades
 
my visit got moved to tomorrow. daughter called said she was going to leave that moment instead of 6 pm we had set. i was still in p.j. there house is in same park as mine, so couldn't make it that fast. said she is tired and doesn't want to go twice. what is she covering up? i don't drive, if she pulls this tomorrow will find a ride some where else. cab rides is 24 dollars. can't spend that.

she says wallie is the same, and that is good.
 
she is still holding on with only oxygen in her nose thing. but they have added a tube down her throat to try and clear up lungs. suck up the liquid in them i guess. she is still mentally confused. can't pass the swallow test, so no food. were going to move to extended care. guess not, as she tried once again to escaped. more drugs and maybe restraints . daughter seems to be hot on the restraints. she told me that she is not physically or mentally able to care for her at home. she has written her off i think. up tomorrow , again to see.
 
she looked good to me this am, up sitting in chair. p.t was there, had her stand and march in place. she got tired very quickly but did well. they are talking bout moving her still. but didn't pass swallow test again. she did not sound crazy to me. i think it is looking better.
 
Babe, I apologize. I have been away from DC for awhile and missed all of this but just read the entire thread. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Wallie. You are such a good friend and I know that she does appreciate it. I will check in as often as I can to see how she, and you, are doing.

You take care of yourself too, please. Love you to bits, you know!
 
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