Old Venting Thread

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My wife had 4 c-sections.

And as far as people telling you what to do with your kids, I especially love when childless person tells me, father of five, how and what to do with one of my kids, when they are crying or having moods.
 
I know what you mean, CharlieD. I remember giving advice to my 1st grade parents long before I had children and now wished that I could talk to them now that I've had my two. I know that some of the advice would be different!!! LOL........
 
As for teens affecting relationships between adults the very thing happened to my daughter and her friend whose mother happened to be my best friend. We both agreed that it was their relationship that was experiencing flux and not ours and we carried on as before. They didn't become enemies or anything but developed other interests and friends. That's what many do at that age. Hope that you can come to a happy understanding with the situation.
 
expatgirl said:
I know what you mean, CharlieD. I remember giving advice to my 1st grade parents long before I had children and now wished that I could talk to them now that I've had my two. I know that some of the advice would be different!!! LOL........
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You too????? I knew everything about being a perfect parent until I became one.:ohmy:
 
Dina said:
Lately my daughter's friends (11 going on 12) have been distant from each other. There's been some differences between the girls and now all of us moms, who had become very close friends, are having a hard time dealing with it. I feel so much tension when I'm around one of the moms now but her daughter has decided to ignore the rest of the girls, my daughter included. I know it's a phase they go through with switching friends and ups and downs with hormones and personalities but it sure feels uncomfortable. Argh! I am staying away for a while until I figure out what to do with this situation. Sigh!.................
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:) It doesn't just happen to kids it just happened to me at 50 years old. A couple of years ago the ranch hired a new head of maintenance and of course there were people here at the ranch that were just hateful to him and his wife including my good neighbor but DH and I don't hate someone just because some other people do. Any way we became good friends and my neighbor decided I was not worth her time because of it but I don't care to hate for no reason. Dh and I were their only friends for the longest time and I thought we were pretty tight. About 2 months ago the wife decided not to deal with us anymore she has lost a lot of weight so I don't know if that's it or if I did something to piss her off. But it just seemed like they came over less and less and don't invite us over anymore they are still friendly but when I asked her why they do not come over anymore she said that they were just to busy.I did notice she became really friendly actually they are really tight with another couple that live just across from them . I'm so confused since DH and I stuck with them so long and now they can't seem to be bothered with us anymore. I have never ever made a new friend and then decide my current friend would be out of the picture in my mind the more friends the better. I know it sounds so high school but my feelings were really hurt. I know I should confront her but just have not wanted to as of yet.
 
It has happened to me in the past also. Lots of times.

Like the kid at school, I sometime get so aggravated and have to vent. Especially when something falls too many times, when something is forgotten after having gone downstairs and out of the building. Even when something doesn't work.

And especially when someone gets on and works my last nerve! Or when someone want to try to get my goat.
 
jpmcgrew said:
:) It doesn't just happen to kids it just happened to me at 50 years old. A couple of years ago the ranch hired a new head of maintenance and of course there were people here at the ranch that were just hateful to him and his wife including my good neighbor but DH and I don't hate someone just because some other people do. Any way we became good friends and my neighbor decided I was not worth her time because of it but I don't care to hate for no reason. Dh and I were their only friends for the longest time and I thought we were pretty tight. About 2 months ago the wife decided not to deal with us anymore she has lost a lot of weight so I don't know if that's it or if I did something to piss her off. But it just seemed like they came over less and less and don't invite us over anymore they are still friendly but when I asked her why they do not come over anymore she said that they were just to busy.I did notice she became really friendly actually they are really tight with another couple that live just across from them . I'm so confused since DH and I stuck with them so long and now they can't seem to be bothered with us anymore. I have never ever made a new friend and then decide my current friend would be out of the picture in my mind the more friends the better. I know it sounds so high school but my feelings were really hurt. I know I should confront her but just have not wanted to as of yet.
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Of course you're hurt and a tad angry..You're wondering what YOU did..Nothing, you were just to nice and people tend to take advantage of it...Sit back and remember all you did, then pat yourself of the back and say nuts, I'm not going to let me get so upset I'll do something silly..Just be YOU and if you have to say something..Then just let her know you're sorry she has chosen to walk away and that your door is open, but you are not the doormat..Then I'd turn away and just let myself find something I love doing and had put aside to do things with them, and begin doing what makes me happy..Do not let an ingrate make you unhappy..They are not worth it.You gave, they took..Chances are they take from all but never give back..Their loss.
kadesma
 
i'm feverish & cranky & i wanna sleep but i can't.
gonna plop into my tub & take a cool bath.
 
jpmcgrew said:
:) It doesn't just happen to kids it just happened to me at 50 years old. A couple of years ago the ranch hired a new head of maintenance and of course there were people here at the ranch that were just hateful to him and his wife including my good neighbor but DH and I don't hate someone just because some other people do. Any way we became good friends and my neighbor decided I was not worth her time because of it but I don't care to hate for no reason. Dh and I were their only friends for the longest time and I thought we were pretty tight. About 2 months ago the wife decided not to deal with us anymore she has lost a lot of weight so I don't know if that's it or if I did something to piss her off. But it just seemed like they came over less and less and don't invite us over anymore they are still friendly but when I asked her why they do not come over anymore she said that they were just to busy.I did notice she became really friendly actually they are really tight with another couple that live just across from them . I'm so confused since DH and I stuck with them so long and now they can't seem to be bothered with us anymore. I have never ever made a new friend and then decide my current friend would be out of the picture in my mind the more friends the better. I know it sounds so high school but my feelings were really hurt. I know I should confront her but just have not wanted to as of yet.
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This happened to me a year ago, too, and it still hurts today. The wife was one of my best friends for over 9 years and the kids were my kids' best friends all that time. We did so many things together with the kids and our husbands were friendly, too. They even lived here in my guest house for a year while they were paying off medical debt. They are great people - really good parents and they work very hard in their jobs. I don't know what happened - no argument or disagreement. Just no further contact. What hurts the most is that I really miss the kids - I love them like they were a niece and nephew. My kids "chat" online with them and play games online with them but the kids are never allowed to get together. :(
 
kadesma said:
Of course you're hurt and a tad angry..You're wondering what YOU did..Nothing, you were just to nice and people tend to take advantage of it...Sit back and remember all you did, then pat yourself of the back and say nuts, I'm not going to let me get so upset I'll do something silly..Just be YOU and if you have to say something..Then just let her know you're sorry she has chosen to walk away and that your door is open, but you are not the doormat..Then I'd turn away and just let myself find something I love doing and had put aside to do things with them, and begin doing what makes me happy..Do not let an ingrate make you unhappy..They are not worth it.You gave, they took..Chances are they take from all but never give back..Their loss.
kadesma
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:) Thank You, Kades I don't even try to itemize all I did for them, another friend on the ranch said that you would think they would want all the friends they could get here. I have absorbed back into my crafts and such but now it's hard to put myself out there for someone again. People that really know me always say I have a heart of gold but it seems the the ones I really go out on the line for just don't appreciate it. As the saying gos "No good deed gos unpunished. Dh is is as mystified as I am but we are not the type to push the issue. Then again maybe there is just a great misunderstanding but if that is the case I would think they would have said something.
 
Fisher's Mom said:
This happened to me a year ago, too, and it still hurts today. The wife was one of my best friends for over 9 years and the kids were my kids' best friends all that time. We did so many things together with the kids and our husbands were friendly, too. They even lived here in my guest house for a year while they were paying off medical debt. They are great people - really good parents and they work very hard in their jobs. I don't know what happened - no argument or disagreement. Just no further contact. What hurts the most is that I really miss the kids - I love them like they were a niece and nephew. My kids "chat" online with them and play games online with them but the kids are never allowed to get together. :(
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:) One would think at our age these things don't happen it's so high school. You would think that when you are so committed to a friendship it would continue but alas not so. It's something I will never understand. I for one will continue to do nice things for people as it's my nature I don't expect anything back but when you invest so much of your heart in certain people it can be really hard to understand why they did what they did. Makes absolutely no sense.
 
I have a vent about people being insensitive and not caring either. For the past 6 months on and off I've been attempting to learn how to play bridge with 4-6 other "newbies". It's not an easy game and we have to refer to notes--bidding is the hardest thing to do. We have a good time, clap when our opponents win, cheer each other on and don't keep score. For some time we had heard about this Greta who woud be joining us soon and how she was such an experienced player but that she was very serious about the game. Ok, so today she comes. Long story short, after the game where we were down by 2 against her and her partner she announces to everyone that I was a bad player. I was shocked and so was everyone else. Usually easy-going I shot back that that was not a very nice thing to say esp. since we were all inexperienced players. I might be inexperienced but I was NOT a bad player and I would NEVER say that to somebody. She said that you shouldn't play all your high cards first and that you should wait. Well, that's exactly what all of us had been doing for the past 6 months. I replied well you could have said that without calling me a "bad player". We all do it and everyone nodded and agreed. Did she apologize? Nope.............Well, I had my revenge. Because the next round she and her partner won the bid and at the end of the game we had them down by "3" (as I was going after her with a vengeance) whereas when we won the bid they had us down by 2. Let's see--------if I go by her logic then she must have been a worse player than myself and if I had been a rude, insensitive boor I would have teased her about it. But as difficult as it was I kept silent but smiling. So was everyone of the newbies. She shut the **** up and there was no more name calling the rest of the morning. It was the most wonderful feeling in the world. I'm still in shock, though, over the insensitivity of the comment.
 
when my dad died, almost all of the friends that mum and dad had, dropped mum. The really strange part in that is that the women were the ones who were the main friends in the groupings. People are generally all strange in their own ways and most of the time we never understand why someone does what they did. Still can annoy the bones out of you. Not to mention how hurtful it is to lose friends whether for a good reason or no reason. give it time and all might revert to normal again, - if you are still interested.
 
Hopefully she wont be invited back?
I get really upset about stuff like that... makes me not even want to go anywhere sometimes just cuz i cant stand rude snotty people, which seem to be a dime a dozen these days.
 
Bilby said:
when my dad died, almost all of the friends that mum and dad had, dropped mum. The really strange part in that is that the women were the ones who were the main friends in the groupings. People are generally all strange in their own ways and most of the time we never understand why someone does what they did. Still can annoy the bones out of you. Not to mention how hurtful it is to lose friends whether for a good reason or no reason. give it time and all might revert to normal again, - if you are still interested.
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That's sad, Bilby---people are funny as you say. I've only dropped two friends in the last couple of years-------one for being so pathologically stingy even though she's rolling in $$$ (and we're talking several million) (the story of how she treated her father's stepchildren who had nothing-- and tried to sell me their mother's modest ring instead of giving it back to them for a keepsake--the other was brewing for a long time. I hope that things will get back to normal for her.
 
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