buckytom
Chef Extraordinaire
'bug, tell her boys don't respect dumb chicks.
but smart ones get to choose their boys...
but smart ones get to choose their boys...
Old Venting Thread
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buckytom said:
Way to bring it right back to her level bucky. Danged if that aint the truth too! LOL.
Kadesma, it does my heart good to hear about the success stories of mean moms. I have warned my kids that should they stray from the straight and narrow, I am quite willing to attend classes with them, follow them into the bathroom, whatever it takes to keep them safe. Hopefully I won't have to do that though.
Mud, keep us posted on how your struggle is going. We're with you all the way girl!
Constance, I was just looking at my sewing machine yesterday thinking I had to get back at it and make some more shorts...but that foot of snow outside has me thinking...LATER! LOL!
(((MUDBUG)))) How these girls keeps us from losing our minds all together is a wonder!!!
Kiersten refused to work up to her potential in jr high and high school- I never asked for more than that but, I would argue with her constantly for just that and granted it DID NOT come easy to her-she had to work really hard just for average.Anyway now that she's a freshman in college- she is doing much better academically and SHE"S even saying she wishes she tried harder in hs. She learned her own lesson. It's tough watching them thinking they no everything and we know nothing and it's even harder winning "The worst Mother in the World award" every week.Just hang in there and know YOU are not alone!!!
Love and energy, Vicki
Kiersten refused to work up to her potential in jr high and high school- I never asked for more than that but, I would argue with her constantly for just that and granted it DID NOT come easy to her-she had to work really hard just for average.Anyway now that she's a freshman in college- she is doing much better academically and SHE"S even saying she wishes she tried harder in hs. She learned her own lesson. It's tough watching them thinking they no everything and we know nothing and it's even harder winning "The worst Mother in the World award" every week.Just hang in there and know YOU are not alone!!!Love and energy, Vicki
David hated school from the first day of kindergarten. Really hated it. We had home work fights every night. Big bad yelling matches. It got to the point where I'd sit him on my lap and we'd both hold the pencil and some how we'd get part of the home work done. We'd never have time to do it all and his grade really suffered. Finally I said FINE.. I give up. Do what you want.
You want to fail... fail... you want to do good... do good.
That was in 8th grade.
The fights ended, the stress went down, he was happier, I was happier and though his grades were never GREAT he didn't fail and when he graduated from highschool he only had 2 missing papers!
Go figure.
You want to fail... fail... you want to do good... do good.
That was in 8th grade.
The fights ended, the stress went down, he was happier, I was happier and though his grades were never GREAT he didn't fail and when he graduated from highschool he only had 2 missing papers!
Go figure.
Claire
Master Chef
Telling a teen or even preteen girl that "boys won't respect them" is ridiculous. At that age, if they're the kind of girl who wants to be "popular" then "respect" doesn't come into the picture until it is too late. Vigilance is the only thing that works, and that's difficult (you can't be with them 24/7). Three of my friends' kids and one neice all wound up getting GEDs after dropping out, and they're all just making it in life by the skin of their teeth and with a lot of help from their parents and grandparents. I don't know what the answer is any more.
Thank God I was born in a different era, was way too tall, and needed to wear really thick glasses to avoid bumping into doorways. It kept me from aspiring to be popular, and put me firmly in the library -- and the kitchen!
Thank God I was born in a different era, was way too tall, and needed to wear really thick glasses to avoid bumping into doorways. It kept me from aspiring to be popular, and put me firmly in the library -- and the kitchen!
buckytom
Chef Extraordinaire
claire, of course just saying boys won't respect you is ridiculous.
the second half of my statement to 'bug dealt with the popularity issue.
you can't talk down or oversimplify things with kids, ya gotta talk to them, as if they were almost as smart as you. not that they are, but they are capable of physically doing a lot of adult things.
and kids think a mile a minute, especially when plotting against your wishes, so yo have to cover your bases.
the second half of my statement to 'bug dealt with the popularity issue.
you can't talk down or oversimplify things with kids, ya gotta talk to them, as if they were almost as smart as you. not that they are, but they are capable of physically doing a lot of adult things.
and kids think a mile a minute, especially when plotting against your wishes, so yo have to cover your bases.
Brooksy
Sous Chef
Ms. Muddy, your problem is International - trust me.
All our kids hated school, jigged class, the whole bit. The louder we yelled the worse it got. With the boys, to at least get them to stay at school entailed a one on one, face to face, quiet but firm discussion on their futures and how academia set the pathway to set goals (certainly NOT in so few words).
Our daughter though was a different matter. After hours of rebutting her smart*rsed responses and keeping my cool, I almost gave up. Remembering that I was a 'feral' who refused to do homework and the things that were going on in my mind back in the 'olden days', I took to the high ground and wxplained to her that at this stage of her life everything was changing at a great rate of knots, the hormone levels in her body were fluctuating and racing around at 100 miles per hour causing mood swings and emotion swings that give her an unfair and restricted outlook on life. It was up to her to overcome these restrictions and control her emotions & thoughts and to listen to the more experienced people around her who were trying to guide and assist her in attaining the best possible outcomes in life.
After I'd finished my speech the only response she could offer was, "I got Rights as well!!" Unfortunately I pretty well lost it at that stage and responded, "Madam you don't have any Rights until you realise your responsibilities, and respect those around you who are trying to help you!! Three R's Madam, showing respect and realising responsibilities you will gain the respect of your peers, responsibility and therefore your Rights will be acknowledged. Until that happens Madam, you have NO Rights whatsoever!!."
Seemed to work at that stage, her work ethic improved and her attitude towards the teachers changed for the better.
Mums & daughters will always be at loggerheads, I was forever stepping between DW & daughter's screaming matches.
It's her turn now, she has a bouncing baby daughter (Skye) who at just over 12 months is showing the same headstrong attitude her Mum did.
I hope I live long enough to step between those two as well.
We all want the best for our children, it is a shame they they don't know it or acknowledge it.
All our kids hated school, jigged class, the whole bit. The louder we yelled the worse it got. With the boys, to at least get them to stay at school entailed a one on one, face to face, quiet but firm discussion on their futures and how academia set the pathway to set goals (certainly NOT in so few words).
Our daughter though was a different matter. After hours of rebutting her smart*rsed responses and keeping my cool, I almost gave up. Remembering that I was a 'feral' who refused to do homework and the things that were going on in my mind back in the 'olden days', I took to the high ground and wxplained to her that at this stage of her life everything was changing at a great rate of knots, the hormone levels in her body were fluctuating and racing around at 100 miles per hour causing mood swings and emotion swings that give her an unfair and restricted outlook on life. It was up to her to overcome these restrictions and control her emotions & thoughts and to listen to the more experienced people around her who were trying to guide and assist her in attaining the best possible outcomes in life.
After I'd finished my speech the only response she could offer was, "I got Rights as well!!" Unfortunately I pretty well lost it at that stage and responded, "Madam you don't have any Rights until you realise your responsibilities, and respect those around you who are trying to help you!! Three R's Madam, showing respect and realising responsibilities you will gain the respect of your peers, responsibility and therefore your Rights will be acknowledged. Until that happens Madam, you have NO Rights whatsoever!!."
Seemed to work at that stage, her work ethic improved and her attitude towards the teachers changed for the better.
Mums & daughters will always be at loggerheads, I was forever stepping between DW & daughter's screaming matches.
It's her turn now, she has a bouncing baby daughter (Skye) who at just over 12 months is showing the same headstrong attitude her Mum did.
I hope I live long enough to step between those two as well.
We all want the best for our children, it is a shame they they don't know it or acknowledge it.
Michelemarie
Executive Chef
I'm not saying girls are worse than boys, because my boys is just a toddler now - but girls have horrible hormones and moods. I am a member of the mean mom club. I have been told that I am invading her privacy - which I retored, "You have no privacy, you are 13 years old!"
My problem goes just a tad deeper, my daughter's dad is moving back to the town I live (in another state now). So all I have been hearing now is, "I want to live with dad", "I want to talk to a judge" and blah blah blah.
I am confident this is not going to happen (x has told me there will be no custosdy battle and we will work out a parenting plan together) - however, the words are still hurtful.
Raising a 13-year-old is hard when she is living in two households - one where there are rules and routines, church, chores and no room from poppycock-my house -- and one where she is treated as a little adult - no chores, no routines, given $ for most anything he wants, all the privacy in the world (which includes free reign to watch all the crap on tv, listen to all the vulgar music, computer my space, emails, etc.)
I think we should start a new thread for all us mean moms, I'm thinking I am gonna need alot of support after he moves here - which is in two weeks. .
My problem goes just a tad deeper, my daughter's dad is moving back to the town I live (in another state now). So all I have been hearing now is, "I want to live with dad", "I want to talk to a judge" and blah blah blah.
I am confident this is not going to happen (x has told me there will be no custosdy battle and we will work out a parenting plan together) - however, the words are still hurtful.
Raising a 13-year-old is hard when she is living in two households - one where there are rules and routines, church, chores and no room from poppycock-my house -- and one where she is treated as a little adult - no chores, no routines, given $ for most anything he wants, all the privacy in the world (which includes free reign to watch all the crap on tv, listen to all the vulgar music, computer my space, emails, etc.)
I think we should start a new thread for all us mean moms, I'm thinking I am gonna need alot of support after he moves here
- which is in two weeks. .
Well I must say, this has been a quite and peafeful day until about 2 hrs ago..I was looking at the computer, I hear yelling and laughing and it's coming from the side of my home where the pasture starts..I go out the front door and in the pasture are 3 boys about 16 or so, waving and yelling and laughing at the brahma bull and several heifers in the pasture..Good old ORNERY Bubba is pawing the ground and snorting and making low noises..I yell at the kids to get out of their and I get a nasty reply and a salute..So, I came in and called the Sheriffs department, all the time praying the bull behaves and the kids get out. I hung up the phone and then I hear, thud thud thud against the security door..Seem they had a bunch of eggs and rotton veggies and were pelting the door with them..Mad, steam coming out my ears,you bet..This seemed to go on forever. Then here comes the sheriff..He nabbed two one took off..after putting them into the car, he came and said to just leave the mess, he knew several boys who were going to do some house repair tomorrow This I've got to see..Would I like to smack these kids? You bet, If they were mine they would not only clean, they would have at least5 hours or more time to give to anyone they did this too..Plus, their fancy large hummer would not be theirs anymore..Can you just imagine if one of them had been hurt out there. That bull is huge and even my DH makes sure he is locked into another pasture when he has to irrigate..Wonder if this mess will be cleaned by the kids or if mommy and daddy will get someone to clean up for them?? Right now I'm still very angry at such nonsense, but also, kind of shaking thinking about what would have happened had I not locked the doors and turned on the alarm...
kadesma
This I've got to see..Would I like to smack these kids? You bet, If they were mine they would not only clean, they would have at least5 hours or more time to give to anyone they did this too..Plus, their fancy large hummer would not be theirs anymore..Can you just imagine if one of them had been hurt out there. That bull is huge and even my DH makes sure he is locked into another pasture when he has to irrigate..Wonder if this mess will be cleaned by the kids or if mommy and daddy will get someone to clean up for them?? Right now I'm still very angry at such nonsense, but also, kind of shaking thinking about what would have happened had I not locked the doors and turned on the alarm...kadesma
Claire
Master Chef
A lot of people tell me girls are harder than boys (I have no children, but come from a large family). I'm curious as to what you all say. I think the only reason girls are harder is because they actually get pregnant. Looking at sibs and friends, I think they simply let boys get away with more. Among my friends, I also find that their girls are still, in this day and age, encouraged to be pretty and popular, not smart (this isn't a reflection on what anyone has written in, just an observation of my acquaintances. I swear they'd rather their daughter was a cheerleader than if she wins the science or foreign language fair). At the ripe old age of 50, I'm discouraged at how girls are being raised these days. Might as well be 1950.
licia
Executive Chef
We had one of each and I don't know that one was harder or easier than the other. During teenage years, they both had minds of their own and took a little curbing to make them understand that they were not royalty. They were both good kids and didn't give us trouble, never got into trouble themselves, but had we not had the talks as soon as we saw changes arise, it could have been different. I certainly don't think many kids are being raised right now. Many parents seem afraid to speak up about how their kids act, how they dress, almost like the kids take over and the parents just pay the bills. It makes me wonder what kind of life those kids will have when they are grown up.
mudbug
Chef Extraordinaire
buckytom - I tried that on her about her guitar. Boys would come flocking to a chick who had some chops. She quit lessons anyway.
Brooksy, you're right. The old heifer and the young heifer are bound to butt heads. Same for the bulls. It's in the DNA, and we just have to live thru it.
kadesma, what those moron kids did at your place reinforces my opinion that most children would be vastly improved by being buried at 13 and dug up at 25.
Claire, the double standard still exists, unfortunately. Guess we haven't come a long way baby just yet. IMO (and don't want to sart any wars), "progressive" feminism has resulted in turning out a generation of girls who are just as coarse and mindless as their brothers in many instances.
Brooksy, you're right. The old heifer and the young heifer are bound to butt heads. Same for the bulls. It's in the DNA, and we just have to live thru it.
kadesma, what those moron kids did at your place reinforces my opinion that most children would be vastly improved by being buried at 13 and dug up at 25.
Claire, the double standard still exists, unfortunately. Guess we haven't come a long way baby just yet. IMO (and don't want to sart any wars), "progressive" feminism has resulted in turning out a generation of girls who are just as coarse and mindless as their brothers in many instances.
texasgirl
Master Chef
kadesma, did the little jerks come clean the mess up?? I bet when their parent's found out, they wished the bull had got them. At least, that's what my boys would be thinking!!!
No, DH called and told them to keep those little monsters at home..If they came round here again we would get an attorney..So far all is quiet..
Had my boys pulled that kind of mischief, they would think the army was heaven!
kadesma
Had my boys pulled that kind of mischief, they would think the army was heaven!
kadesma
Michelemarie
Executive Chef
Kadesma, I can see where DH is coming from, but I also don't want to think of you out there cleaning that mess! I am sorry that happened to you. Maybe you should have went out there and, oh I don't know, accidentally kicked open the gate. For sure those boys would not be around again! They would have got what they deserved where the sun doesn't shine (although these days, I think the sun shines everywhere).
Constance
Master Chef
Kadesma, I think I'd have have gone Granny Clampet and had my shotgun out there (after I called 911). A couple of blasts in the air would have gotten those hooligans' attention.
If the bull went silly and busted out, all the better.
I do not like being afraid in my own home. I have been there, done that...had to have police protection...and it really sucks.
If the bull went silly and busted out, all the better.
I do not like being afraid in my own home. I have been there, done that...had to have police protection...and it really sucks.
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We did'nt do the cleaning, DH had someone come due..Our neighbor a retired undercover police detective, said to wait and send a bill to the parents..That is what we will do.. We have home owners insurance,but the thought of being sued over a thing like this,really makes me nuts. If people can sue over a kid geting hurt on a canal bank that is clearly post no tresspassing and win..Imagine what would happen to us!!! Thanks for thinking of us. Too,bad there are'nt more parents like you.Michelemarie said:
kadesma
Neither do I Connie, but had I used DH's shotgun, I'd have been on my fanny for sure. That thing kicks like a muleConstance said:
And the thought of trying to round up ol Bubba alone, uh I don't think so. Had to do that one time with another one who decided to chase me up into the horse trailer..Good thing I was younger I hate being afraid and so far it's been ok except for the time we were notified by the police to lock all doors and not come home the same way everynight and to keep a close eye on the kids. Seems a druggie who robbed us and was caught had his family looking for DH..We spent 6 months looking over our shoulders and that was no fun..It was terrifying.We do have a shotgun and a pistol, which is usless in my mind..but having the kids here we keep the gun up in the garage and the ammo is hidden in the attic..Kind of silly, but, I can' take a chance one of the kids might find anything.. We, have had a quiet day and that is fine for me Thanks for your concern, I'm going to be very wary from now on..
kadesma
corazon
Executive Chef
Oh, these kids are driving me crazy tonight!!! Feel like I need to go outside and scream, then disappear for the night. Aidan has spent the last 2 hours whining and eating dinner! He keeps telling me he wants to eat it but isn't getting any of it in his mouth. He has 10 minutes before I give it to the dog. Callum is doing the nonstop crying thing. dh just left to go to a martial arts class. Early bedtime for Aidan, I think. Wish me luck.
I'm sorry about those boys, kadesma. These punk
kids just don't have any respect for anyone! You're so wonderful, and you certainly didn't deserve this.
Feel like I need to go outside and scream, then disappear for the night. Aidan has spent the last 2 hours whining and eating dinner! He keeps telling me he wants to eat it but isn't getting any of it in his mouth. He has 10 minutes before I give it to the dog. Callum is doing the nonstop crying thing. dh just left to go to a martial arts class. Early bedtime for Aidan, I think. Wish me luck. I'm sorry about those boys, kadesma. These punk
kids just don't have any respect for anyone! You're so wonderful, and you certainly didn't deserve this.- Status
