Old Venting Thread

[StirBlue]

OK, there was a box of "stuff" my son had put by the dining room door - to either be taken to Goodwill or he was thinking about selling this "stuff" out in front of the house. Something glass broke in the dining room. I got the 6 x 8 Chinese crewel rug out from under the dining room table - removed the big pieces of glass and decided to have the carpet cleaned. I folded it up and set it on top of this box of "stuff". My husband said if he wasn't going to sell that "stuff" and since it was really stuff that Goodwill probably wouldn't want, he could load the Explorer up and take it to the dumpster at his office.

I didn't even notice the box was missing for a couple days - I got so used to seeing it and didn't pay attention anymore. I know for a FACT I mentioned the rug on top but ultimately it is my fault. The rug got thrown away - the dumpster was emptied when we checked. It did make me kind of nauseous but I realize it's just a rug and far worse things have happened and far worse things will happen than losing a rug - a perfectly good, beautiful rug

Chinese Rugs are one of a kind. My heart just fell out for you! I have freelanced as a tapestry artist restoring these types of rugs. Although it is gruesome work, I find it very rewarding. Some of the rugs that I have restored were 400 years old. Now you will be looking for another rug.

Did your son find out about the box of "stuff?" My children used to make boxes of "stuff" and they ended up in the family room or living room. It just seems like it is always inconvenient when they show up with the box of "stuff". And as always, the box of "stuff" just sits there with things being piled on it and other things falling in. We always ended up going through the box of "stuff" when the time came to get rid of it. On one occasion, I found an old watch face with no casing and it looked like junk! Of course I tossed it. A few weeks later, I found a perfectly beautiful gold watch casing made of pure gold in his toy box. That old watch face would have fit right in it. My son had bought it at a yard sale for .25 cents. So I had never paid any attention to it. When I checked with a jeweler to see if we could replace the watch part, he said no, it was handcrafted. He offered to buy the watch casing for $500. The part I threw away was worth $1,500. (We used the money to buy my sons some summer clothes & shoes.) And so goes the box of "stuff."

 

[csalt]

Kitchen Elf..what can I say. I'm so sorry. If it were me, I know I would find the hardest part keeping my mouth shut and not harping on about it..which doesn't help at all, but I do find it hard!

I'm just SOooooosorry. Sending you a cup of friendly karma.

 

[csalt]

Kind Thoughts Please?

For various reasons, mostly loyalty, I cannot tell you why, but I feel like the bottom's fallen out of my world just at present and could do with a friendly word and/or thought. Thanks. Just send some positive vives my way so that I can give myself a good shake and stop being a self pitying misery guts.

 

[lulu]

positive thoughts csalt!

Well, just coming to type mine I feel better already! Its so silly! DH and I bought some tomato plants which have been doing really well, and DH, a novice gardener, loves them, he's done tomoatoes fow a few years now, but hates doing the laterals as he feels kinda mean, so I do them. Thismorning he said "Oh, I did the laterals this morning...no need for you to" and I've just been out checking and watering (I take these winow boxes seriously and spend as much time as I might in a smallish garden!) and he HAS lateralled...as well as taking the tops off three os the six. Now I'm not sure what to do, if they will re sprout tops or if we need to now wait for another laterall and take the plant back down to there! On the plus side, one of the ones with a top left has tiny flower buds!

 

[JoAnn L.]

For various reasons, mostly loyalty, I cannot tell you why, but I feel like the bottom's fallen out of my world just at present and could do with a friendly word and/or thought. Thanks. Just send some positive vives my way so that I can give myself a good shake and stop being a self pitying misery guts.

So sorry that you are feeling down. I hope the hurt goes away in a hurry! Here's a little ((((hug)))) to help cheer you up!

 

[kitchenelf]

For various reasons, mostly loyalty, I cannot tell you why, but I feel like the bottom's fallen out of my world just at present and could do with a friendly word and/or thought. Thanks. Just send some positive vives my way so that I can give myself a good shake and stop being a self pitying misery guts.

Well, I know a lot of us have a good handle on the English language but for the life of me I just don't think I can send you positive vives - no waaaaaaaay, no how, you can't make me!!!!!!!!!!!!

vives - A disease of brute animals, especially of horses, seated in the glands under the ear, where a tumor is formed which sometimes ends in suppuration.

I don't care how much you want them you're not getting them from ME!

I'm sorry you are going through what you are csalt. I have certainly known that feeling of "the bottom has fallen out of my world" along with many other phrases to go along with that. YOU, sweetie, have all of us. We all value you here. It's not a totally bad thing to just get lost in the moment. We come out of that hole when we are emotionally ready. It will make you a stronger, more confident person. There is no need to live forever in this moment though. You don't seem like the type of person that will do that though. Give yourself a hug - that's from me.

 

[kitchenelf]

Kitchen Elf..what can I say. I'm so sorry. If it were me, I know I would find the hardest part keeping my mouth shut and not harping on about it..which doesn't help at all, but I do find it hard!

I'm just SOooooosorry. Sending you a cup of friendly karma.

That's just so not me when things get lost or broken. I have always accepted things like that. Like I said, I might get a little sinking feeling but I can't make my son feel bad for something I did. Now, the person who stole my wedding band and the only ring my son ever gave me - I'm not so good about keeping my mouth shut about that - but I don't go so far as to give him enough ammunition to sue me for slander. I have some good friends who own a restaurant. When they hired him I sat down and had a serious conversation with them. They felt he wasn't like that as they had not seen signs of it. He's not the sole reason but his contribution to this restaurant now closing is he has stolen thousands of dollars of beer, wine, food, liquor from their restaurants. His room mates took a stance and turned him in to these people.

Vera - oh how I wish I would have looked through that pile on top of that box. That is exactly what happened. It was just a little emotional attachment and I enjoyed looking at it EVERY time I walked through the dining room. But the reality of it is - it IS just a "thing".

 

[StirBlue]

I am really worried about a friend who is on the last league of her journey for taking care of her family. She has spent the better part of 25 years taking care of her elderly parents. Her father died in 1998 and her mother recently underwent heart surgery and will be transitioning from the hospital into a nursing home. Her computer is on the blink so her e-mail system is on hold. I call her every few days. She is now in her early 50's. She e-mailed me from the library to say that she went to the doctor for a prescription for zoloft (sp?) (anti-depressant). They asked her if she was suicidal ... etc and she felt that she just needed the prescription to deal with everything that was going on. She is a substitute teacher and is agonizing over her summer finances. Financial arrangements have been made to cover what ever she needs but when I called her this evening she was upset over her natural gas bill. It was for $40. I asked how much her electric was and it was also around $40. I think she needs a counselor to help her sort this all out. (I live 1200 miles from her) Her older sister is helping to make the necessary nursing home arrangements but I don't think she understands how intense this situation is for her younger sister. She was talking about getting a different job and I suggested that she look for a slow pace office job. To top it all, she told me that she has been getting hang up calls since her mother went into the hospital. She is working on getting a Caller ID going and she has two inside dogs. She regularly attends a church and maybe I should talk to her pastor. She hasn't got her air conditioner going yet and it's likely to reach the 100's any time soon. Can you think of anything else that I should be doing?

 

[csalt]

Kitchen Elf, I've only just caught up with you note re my typo error!! of 'vive' and I'm still laughing!!

 

[csalt]

I am really worried about a friend who is on the last league of her journey for taking care of her family. She has spent the better part of 25 years taking care of her elderly parents. Her father died in 1998 and her mother recently underwent heart surgery and will be transitioning from the hospital into a nursing home. Her computer is on the blink so her e-mail system is on hold. I call her every few days. She is now in her early 50's. She e-mailed me from the library to say that she went to the doctor for a prescription for zoloft (sp?) (anti-depressant). They asked her if she was suicidal ... etc and she felt that she just needed the prescription to deal with everything that was going on. She is a substitute teacher and is agonizing over her summer finances. Financial arrangements have been made to cover what ever she needs but when I called her this evening she was upset over her natural gas bill. It was for $40. I asked how much her electric was and it was also around $40. I think she needs a counselor to help her sort this all out. (I live 1200 miles from her) Her older sister is helping to make the necessary nursing home arrangements but I don't think she understands how intense this situation is for her younger sister. She was talking about getting a different job and I suggested that she look for a slow pace office job. To top it all, she told me that she has been getting hang up calls since her mother went into the hospital. She is working on getting a Caller ID going and she has two inside dogs. She regularly attends a church and maybe I should talk to her pastor. She hasn't got her air conditioner going yet and it's likely to reach the 100's any time soon. Can you think of anything else that I should be doing?

SB ..I think talking to the Pastor would be a very good idea, but do it with your friend's permission. It is the role of the Church ( or rather the people who are the Church) to come to the aid of their fellow members. He/She may be able to organise some practical help.
I am so glad she has such a caring 'Listening Ear' in you

 

[StirBlue]

Thank you csalt. Since I really do not know their church policies, I guess it might make an imposition on her. She has just been in this relationship so long that I don't think she knows what to do with herself. She does have a church friend who she always gives a ride to church. Thank you for letting me know that I was doing something for her since I was feeling so helpless.

 

[luvs]

jake's getting a can of alpo as his dinner tonite, cause he's gonna be moping his way towards his doghouse.
his Mom just rang me from florida cause his work left her a message 'bout his not showing & they were worried.
he failed to mention that he'd quit-without notice to them-to me.
he got another job with wages he prefers, 'cept what if he wants to work with his former employer again if his new job doesn't work out as he expects.
he's too impulsive.
his choice, though, not mine. so.......

 

[StirBlue]

I hope that Alpo is not on the dog food recall list. But then I am sure that you checked it. Of course you may not even have a recall list!

If someone is calling about his no show then he must have been a valued employee. His new job may offer him more financial comfort and some room to advance. Maybe he can enroll at the community college to take a class or workshop that would give him a career of choice. He would also be getting a counselor to help him make these tough decisions. Just a class in computers might make him feel worthy enough to launch a motive for a better and more stable career. If he has to humble himself and apologize to his former employer and ask for a job, it would not be the end of the world but he does have to consider his job references. Trying to better yourself should bring about good things. Your concern for him is very genuine and I respect your concern.

 

[CharlieD]

SB ..I think talking to the Pastor would be a very good idea, but do it with your friend's permission. It is the role of the Church ( or rather the people who are the Church) to come to the aid of their fellow members. He/She may be able to organise some practical help.
I am so glad she has such a caring 'Listening Ear' in you

if person is depressed or close to it, I would talk to pastor without her permission. Depression is a very serious ilness and she may or may not realise how bad it is and will not give you permission to talk to anybody. Clergy is trained to a degree of course to deal with family problem. Do explain to him that you talked to him without her permision and that he shoould be very , mmm what's the word?, mmm darn, it's on a tip of my toungue and I can't say it. Not polite, not careful, grrr, help me out somebody, please. You know what I mean, darn what is it word? ..............

 

[mudbug]

diplomatic? discreet?

 

[csalt]

Obviously we all have a different 'take' on this but from my point of view it would be wrong to do this without asking her first. If a friend of mine did that I would feel very betrayed.
SB is being a really staunch friend as it is .

 

[StirBlue]

CharlieD: Thanks. One of the reasons that I am worried about her is that her mother was a horribly mean nasty and abusive person and got worse over the years. Anybody in their normal right mind would be kicking up their heels in joy to see her moving to the nursing home. But this lady is sort of bringing up all sorts of little concerns and maybe that was just the way things were for a long time, check in every move you make and have it judged. I take it that they have a leaky gas cooking stove and refuse to replace it. They have turned off the oven but still use the burners. She calls her mother to tell her that the house was gassy smelling and she turned off the outside valve to the stove. (???)
Maybe the mother will get preoccupied at the nursing home. But she may try ruling two thrones simultaneously.
It is a church night and I will talk with her again. Tomorrow, Thursday, is when her mother will be moved to the nursing home.

On your advice, I will keep the pastor's number handy and add some ER numbers for her home town as well.

 

[luvs]

I hope that Alpo is not on the dog food recall list. But then I am sure that you checked it. Of course you may not even have a recall list!

If someone is calling about his no show then he must have been a valued employee. His new job may offer him more financial comfort and some room to advance. Maybe he can enroll at the community college to take a class or workshop that would give him a career of choice. He would also be getting a counselor to help him make these tough decisions. Just a class in computers might make him feel worthy enough to launch a motive for a better and more stable career. If he has to humble himself and apologize to his former employer and ask for a job, it would not be the end of the world but he does have to consider his job references. Trying to better yourself should bring about good things. Your concern for him is very genuine and I respect your concern.

they liked him at work.
jake is 30. he's attended college. 'cept we're minutes away from an excellent university that, if he worked security, he'd attend without $$$$$ & further his learning.
his rash descisions just get me to that point where i want to yell.
i'm thankful that you respect my concern.
thanks.
psssst.... we flipped 'bout those recalls, we've 2 felines we love dearly. canned food & treats, well..... trashcans- they can be lovely items.

 

[lulu]

My DH is tense, which is making me tense. Well, we are bith tense for the same reason. He is meant to find out today whether his Monday interview was succesful. He doubts he's going to be called: the two people who interviewed him are away today (same company different office, so he's seen on the intranet). Our life decisions depend on knowing the outcome of this, as does what I pack this weekend for a drive to UK. *sigh* we just wanna know.....

 

[redkitty]

I hate waiting to LuLu, hope you hear something soon!!