Planning For Our Final Destination

[expatgirl]

Expat - I hear you. My father was one of four brothers. When the last of their parents died the arguing and caniving started and Dan disowned tow of his brothers.

One traveled over 300 miles to see Dad the night before surgery that he never recovered from. Dad threw him out. I was so sorry. Lost Dad - Many yearrs later, I can't find his brothers to know if they are alive.

sorry I missed this Adillo.....can certainly feel for you and none of us either have talked to Linda since......but I hear that her daughter who is so $$$ conscious has bragged to others how much her mother got.......hope she enjoys it .......none of her family will talk to her.........

 

[jpmcgrew]

That happened to my Dad his half brother got to my Grandmother while she was senile to make him executer of her assets. She had a lot my Dad was to get half and he knew who got what buildings etc and he told me my brother and I would split his when he died. Needless to say his brother kept everythingand his kids totally ransacked her house. It really broke my Dads heart to hafto tell us we would get nothing from that deal.
So what dos it entail to make a trust how dos it work? I don't how the state can tax you on all the things youv'e all ready paid taxes on. Jeez

 

[Adillo303]

expatgirl - I believe in a higher power that watches us all. I believe that in the end things will be set straight. Many of us seem to have these kinds of things happen. "Ill gotten gain does not do anyone any good."

jpmcgrew - Best answer is to see a lawyer, it's all very specific.

AC

 

[simplicity]

Trusts

So what dos it entail to make a trust how dos it work? I don't how the state can tax you on all the things youv'e all ready paid taxes on. Jeez

There are different types of trusts. Designated assets of the deceased are placed in a trust. Cash is usually converted to investments. Assets such as real estate may be held, especially if the property is income producing. The spouse or another designated person is generally the income beneficiary meaning they will benefit from the income the trust produces and pays. This income is taxable to the beneficiary who received the payment.

A trust company or trust department from the bank holds the assets and their trustees call the shots and generally have a great deal of power, depending on the trust instrument.

That's the 2-minute answer.

They are expensive to set up and expensive to maintain. If you're thinking of a trust be absolutely certain you understand the pros and cons.

 

[jpmcgrew]

expatgirl - I believe in a higher power that watches us all. I believe that in the end things will be set straight. Many of us seem to have these kinds of things happen. "Ill gotten gain does not do anyone any good."

jpmcgrew - Best answer is to see a lawyer, it's all very specific.

AC

Our is set up that anything and everything of DH goes to me and vise/versa. We have most of in both our names and on others I am beneficiary. After that if we both are gone it all gos to his son. I believe the will names each other as executor. Also we both want cremation and do not resuscitate as well. I'm thinking it's pretty iron clad with the notary and three other witnesses. The one thing I have not been able to do is to get him to write down what he wants done with his massive rifle etc collection I'm sure he has friends who would like to have this or that.
On a lighter note DH actually wants his body thrown to the coyotes and other scavengers as he a big time hunter etc. He says he at least owes them that much. Although I don't think I can pull that one off.

 

[Constance]

There are no estate taxes in Illinois if the amount of the estate is under 2 million dollars. Also, if the attorney prepares the will properly, it does not have to be probated.
States vary greatly in these laws, so you should check with your attorney about what the laws are in your state.

 

[Constance]

I heard a poem once that expresses how I want my remains handled. I can't remember one line, but the rest goes like this:

When I die, bury me deep...
And plant a rose between my feet...
????????????????????????
As the toes goes, the rose grows.

 

[expatgirl]

cute.........constance.......when your'e gone you're gone......just make it easier for your heirs if you can ...........

 

[sparrowgrass]

Patti Tana wrote my funeral plan--I only had to change one word from her original.

Post Humus

​

Scatter my ashes in my garden
so I can be near my loves.
Say a few honest words,
sing a gentle song,
join hands in a circle of flesh.
Please tell some stories
about me making you laugh.
I love to make you laugh.

when I've had time to settle
and green gathers into buds,
remember I love blossoms
bursting in spring.
As the season ripens
remember my persistent passion.

And if you come in my garden
on an August afternoon,
pluck a bright red globe,
let juice run down your chin
and the seeds stick to your cheek.

When I'm dead I want folks to smile
and say, "That Sparrow, she sure is
some tomato!"

from Ask the Dreamer Where Night Begins: Poems & Postscripts (1986); reprinted in
When I Am an Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple (Papier-Mache Press, 1987) Ed. Sandra Martz
and Make Your Way Across This Bridge: New & Selected Writings (2003)

 

[Barbara L]

I just found this site, MyStateWill.com : Intestacy Calculators show what happens without a will, which has a calculator to see what the spouse and kids will get if you die without a will. I tried a few different states with our information (living spouse, two kids). I checked about 10. Most were about the same, showing the spouse getting half of what the estate is worth and the two kids each getting a fourth. California split it evenly between the spouse and two kids. Interesting. Of course, this doesn't get into the taxes, etc. The site does mention specific laws pertaining to each state.

Barbara

 

[simplicity]

I just found this site, MyStateWill.com : Intestacy Calculators show what happens without a will, which has a calculator to see what the spouse and kids will get if you die without a will. I tried a few different states with our information (living spouse, two kids). I checked about 10. Most were about the same, showing the spouse getting half of what the estate is worth and the two kids each getting a fourth. California split it evenly between the spouse and two kids. Interesting. Of course, this doesn't get into the taxes, etc. The site does mention specific laws pertaining to each state.

Barbara

That's an interesting site.

California and Texas are both community property states.

An example, if you die without a will in Texas the spouse will get one half interest in the house, and the children will receive the other half. Sometimes this is fine. If the surviving spouse needs to sell, he/she will only receive half its value, the children the other half. (This is a simple version).

I hope this information encourages others to have a will in place.

Thanks for posting it.

 

[pdswife]

We have wills and trusts all set up and ready to go. One word of advice..you may want to think about a new will once in awhile as your family grows and you have more to leave them.

As for what to do with our bodies.. cremate us quickly. I don't want any kind of service or party or anything. Just take my ashes to a beautiful beach and let them go. Paul wants his scattered off one of the huge rocks in Greece.

 

[jabbur]

It's interesting that people who have posted tend to want cremation and no service. While I have no problem with cremation, I do have a problem with the no service. I will not dictate to my family what to do. It must be something meaningful to them since I will technically not be there! If they want a full blown funeral with viewing etc, fine. If they want something private, fine. Whatever they need to do. Funerals do have a function. We have ceremonies and gatherings for so many of life's milestones. This is just one more. It may seem like a burden to the family to plan and deal with the many details, in some ways, it is helpful to have things you MUST do to keep you going. So my instructions to my family are "Do whatever you want."

 

[SixSix210]

I'm going to be cremated and dumped in the ocean. If my survivors absolutely insist on leaving a memorial, they've been instructed to build a gazebo or bench on the beach for everyone to use and enjoy...if they insist they have been autorized to put up a small brass plate with my name and dates and such on the bench. No point in clogging up the earth with my remains...

 

[Wart]

Cremation and work my ashes into a garden.

 

[babetoo]

Cremation and work my ashes into a garden.

cremation and urn buried next to my husband. we own plots.babe

 

[Barbara L]

It's interesting that people who have posted tend to want cremation and no service. While I have no problem with cremation, I do have a problem with the no service. I will not dictate to my family what to do. It must be something meaningful to them since I will technically not be there! If they want a full blown funeral with viewing etc, fine. If they want something private, fine. Whatever they need to do. Funerals do have a function. We have ceremonies and gatherings for so many of life's milestones. This is just one more. It may seem like a burden to the family to plan and deal with the many details, in some ways, it is helpful to have things you MUST do to keep you going. So my instructions to my family are "Do whatever you want."

I agree completely. I know that when my mom died, the memorial service and funeral were very important to those of us still living. It was a chance to share some of our memories of my mom with friends and family. I couldn't care less if they throw me in a cardboard box when I'm gone! James would like to be cremated, so I will either be cremated or buried, and his remains buried with me (or me buried with his remains, depending on who goes first). I'm also not one to leave an urn of ashes on the mantel to remember him by. The memorial service and funeral are for the living, so that they can feel closure. When my favorite aunt died, in Minnesota, she was cremated and the majority of her ashes were buried there. Most of us were not able to go for that. In the spring everyone flew to California. We had a small (just family) memorial service at the cemetary where my mom, her brother, and their parents were buried. During that ceremony my aunt's three (grown) children sprinkled ashes on her parents', sister's, and brother's graves.

Barbara

 

[pot clanger]

New here on DC, and with the recent sad turn of events, it makes one consider one's mortality, even at forty... While I believe carrying out a loved one's last requests a sign of respect, it's true, too, that a service is for the living - their way of remembering and mourning their dead. 'm not sure about a service, wanting one or not - I feel almost embarrassed to think of wanting one, like it's a vanity thing.

The only thing I know for sure that I want, is to be cremated and shot up in a firecracker. Not sure if that's even possible - I better check that out!

 

[HMGgal]

Having parents and a grandmother that had protracted, long illnesses before they died, I've tried to do things differently. I was a single mother of three left with their burial/cremation expenses and no real idea if I was doing what they wanted. I did the usual stuff, plus researched and purchased long term health care insurance for my husband (I remarried a long time ago) and myself so that our children won't have to throw their own finances into a disaster to take care of either one of us, nor will we have to "spend down" and become paupers to get the care we may need. It's expensive, but I do sleep better at night. I figure if I have the insurance, I won't need it and I'm okay with that.

 

[David Cottrell]

This is simple - go to a good attorney where you live and him/her draw up a will to the specific instructions of both of you. It's not scarry and not expensive if you look around.