Please keep my mom in your prayers

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Susan, just know that you and your mom are in my thoughts and prayers! This is for your mom.

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Thanks but when one has two kinds of dementia (alzheimers and vascular dementia and has been declining over time) it does not look good. Pneumonia and bronchitis can really weaken an elderly person and can be very deadly. She is also diabetic, has high blood pressure and emphysema (2d hand smoke) and a pacemaker. If she survives, she will be very weak and will probably further decline mentally. It is why I am so upset. She may wind up cycling in and out of the hospital like my father did before her. Anytime she is out of her routine it is not good for her.

As you can see I have no illusions and it hurts like he**.
 
I'm sorry Susan, it is difficult seeing a parent age. All you can do is be there for her and love her, and I know you do both and more. We are always thinking about you. *hugs*
 
Susan,
don't give up hope!
Maybe everything will be okay afterwards...
Your Mom is in best hands at the hospital, they know what to do..

keep strong and prayers for you and your Mom!
 
^Well, she wants to try to make a recovery but she is in G-d's hands. She is weak and exhausted and I do not know if she will wind up cycling in and out of the hospital like my dad did in the end. All I can do is be there and let her know that I love her. She still has enough of a quality of life that I do not want to let her go if I do not have to. She still knows me and enjoys music and going out to eat. She loved it when I took her to plays and the ballet. We shall see what she is willing to do. She is eating, she is taking her meds but she would not walk with the physical therapist today and she slept a lot. Her chest hurts from all the coughing.
Sigh, thanks for all the prayers. I wish that I could say that I had a good day. I am still grieving my friend Dave and my mom is very sick.
 
Well as my mom stubbornly held onto life this past week (she wanted to get better) the doctors decided it was time to bring out the big guns. She is on steroids. This will dry up her lungs. Although she was exhausted yesterday, she was up and walking today and going to the bathroom by herself. She has been lucid as well--knowing that she is sick and in the hospital. She keeps telling me that she is getting good care and I am spending all day there with her so she won't be scared.

The big guns have their problems--her blood sugar will rise and she will need more coverage and that alone will cause confusion--and so will the steroids. Further, we will have to deal with the nausea that accompanies so much antibiotic and steroids.

But she will have a better chance of surviving now. I imagine it will be good day, bad day, etc. especially until she gets her strength back.

June, the hard part of letting go is that she didn't want to be a vegetable and she isn't one, yet. She may get confused but she knows me and her friends and enjoys a quality of life. If she were totally confused and did not know me, it would be a much easier choice. I am just struggling with trying to follow her advance directives--that is why she has them. I never wanted to be in the position of having to choose. I wanted her to tell me and then, do what she said.
 
PieSusan said:
Well as my mom stubbornly held onto life this past week (she wanted to get better) the doctors decided it was time to bring out the big guns. She is on steroids. This will dry up her lungs. Although she was exhausted yesterday, she was up and walking today and going to the bathroom by herself. She has been lucid as well--knowing that she is sick and in the hospital. She keeps telling me that she is getting good care and I am spending all day there with her so she won't be scared.

The big guns have their problems--her blood sugar will rise and she will need more coverage and that alone will cause confusion--and so will the steroids. Further, we will have to deal with the nausea that accompanies so much antibiotic and steroids.

But she will have a better chance of surviving now. I imagine it will be good day, bad day, etc. especially until she gets her strength back.

June, the hard part of letting go is that she didn't want to be a vegetable and she isn't one, yet. She may get confused but she knows me and her friends and enjoys a quality of life. If she were totally confused and did not know me, it would be a much easier choice. I am just struggling with trying to follow her advance directives--that is why she has them. I never wanted to be in the position of having to choose. I wanted her to tell me and then, do what she said.
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my heart goes out to you. such hard choices. my mom did linger in a coma and it was just awful. take care of your self, we don't want to hear that you are sick
 
Oh yeah, you're right about the steriods, Susan. When my mom had a hemothorax in December, one of the things they treated her with was high-dose steriods. It made her blood sugar skyrocket and she was getting insulin many times a day (and she's not diabetic.) But the worst part by far was the mental side effects. She became paranoid and fearful and irrational and even angry at times. I had to stay with her day and night because she was terrified that something would happen if I left. But she has 8 cats and 2 dogs that had to be cared for!

My family came immediately when she had a cardiac arrest and they stayed for almost 2 weeks, mainly to take care of her pets. I didn't leave the hospital at all for 8 days because she was so frantic if I even mentioned it. After that, I left for a couple of hours each afternoon because I had to see my little boy. There was always someone there with her, but she was still freaked out until I returned.

The worst part was the night before she got released. My family had gone home that day and I had to leave to feed and let her dogs out. It was time to leave (it was 10 pm) and I wouldn't be back until morning because there was an ice storm that night and I was worried about driving in it. (I wouldn't have left at all except for the animals.) Apparently she became frantic in the night and was convinced that she was bleeding into her lungs again. She actually made the nurse wake a doctor up in the middle of the night and give her a chest xray at 3 in the morning! (That may have been one of the reasons they finally agreed to release her the next morning.:ohmy:)

Anyway, this is a long story but the gist of it is, high-dose steroids can really cause bizarre thoughts and behaviors. It took a week longer after she came home for those panic attacks to begin subsiding. So if your mom really appears to go totally "off her rocker", it may not be permanent or a progression of her dementia.
 
Fisher's Mom said:
Oh yeah, you're right about the steriods, Susan. When my mom had a hemothorax in December, one of the things they treated her with was high-dose steriods. It made her blood sugar skyrocket and she was getting insulin many times a day (and she's not diabetic.) But the worst part by far was the mental side effects. She became paranoid and fearful and irrational and even angry at times. I had to stay with her day and night because she was terrified that something would happen if I left. But she has 8 cats and 2 dogs that had to be cared for!

My family came immediately when she had a cardiac arrest and they stayed for almost 2 weeks, mainly to take care of her pets. I didn't leave the hospital at all for 8 days because she was so frantic if I even mentioned it. After that, I left for a couple of hours each afternoon because I had to see my little boy. There was always someone there with her, but she was still freaked out until I returned.

The worst part was the night before she got released. My family had gone home that day and I had to leave to feed and let her dogs out. It was time to leave (it was 10 pm) and I wouldn't be back until morning because there was an ice storm that night and I was worried about driving in it. (I wouldn't have left at all except for the animals.) Apparently she became frantic in the night and was convinced that she was bleeding into her lungs again. She actually made the nurse wake a doctor up in the middle of the night and give her a chest xray at 3 in the morning! (That may have been one of the reasons they finally agreed to release her the next morning.:ohmy:)

Anyway, this is a long story but the gist of it is, high-dose steroids can really cause bizarre thoughts and behaviors. It took a week longer after she came home for those panic attacks to begin subsiding. So if your mom really appears to go totally "off her rocker", it may not be permanent or a progression of her dementia.
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Thanks for the reassurance, Terry. I know that to be true but I assume it will be scary and disconcerting. I can sleep in her room in the chair if need be.
 
PieSusan said:
June, the hard part of letting go is that she didn't want to be a vegetable and she isn't one, yet. She may get confused but she knows me and her friends and enjoys a quality of life. If she were totally confused and did not know me, it would be a much easier choice. I am just struggling with trying to follow her advance directives--that is why she has them. I never wanted to be in the position of having to choose. I wanted her to tell me and then, do what she said.
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I can relate to all of that, Susan. My mom had pretty bad clinical dementia, but still had many lucid moments until 9 months before she passed. At that time she suffered a stroke, and tho she regained almost all the physical mobility she had before the stroke, it knocked out that part of her brain that governed rationality and reason. As a result, we had to watch her sit and drool and rock back and forth until the end. It was sohard, and even worse for Dad, who was there with her all the time, talking to her, and hoping she could understand.

I am hoping so much that your Mom pulls through this. The will to live and to get well is very powerful in the recovery process. She has a lot going for her.
 
I don't know you Susan as I'm a newbie but I'll say a prayer for your mom,I know it has to be hard watching her being ill and being far way to help.
 
PieSusan, you are doing everything what you can to help your mom. The fact that she knows you makes a big difference as you said. Nothing in life is easy when it comes to a loved one. Staying with her is a great comfort to her and you will only realize this more and more as time goes by. (I cherished the time I was with my mom)

I am asking for supernatural strength and support for you at this critical time. Also that your mom does not experience any pain physically or mentally. That she be spared from all this. Hanging on to one another is a blessing. Thanks for keeping in touch.
 
Well, my mom is still crackly and wheezy in her lung but she has turned a corner. The doctors want to see if she can come home tomorrow but she will still be getting breathing treatments and steroids. The big question will be if she can bounce and regain her strength. She can walk and she can use the bathroom. It is just she is weak. If she eats and has enough physical therapy, she has a shot but she can get lazy and will need to be pushed. She could never self-motivate like my dad.

I have been under so much stress and I am too pooped to pop. I have tried my best to make good decisions and follow my mom's advanced directives.

I hope she is not going to cycle back into the hospital but that is always a possibility.
Best to you all always,
PieSusan

Once again, thank you all for the prayers, kind words and thoughts. It truly means a lot to me. It is not easy to go through all of this alone. My brothers left me to the burden for caring for our parents and it has not always been easy. Each stage has its own problems.
 
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