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Old 04-21-2014, 05:01 PM   #1
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So Many Changes!

Hi, everyone!

I'm sorry to not be so active here lately. DA is failing, and she has started hitting me. Mamma is coming tonight to assess her situation and she may decide to take DA home earlier than July.

Carl and Laki and their Mammas are doing well and looking forward to the vacation in Romania! Catina II, at last estimate will be ready for her sea trials by the middle of June! I can't wait to see her! A good man in one's life and a wonderful fishing vessel makes life so wonderful, yes?

I've had many visits to the lawyer with DA, and I own our home now. DA has arranged a generous trust for me, so no matter where I am, our home will be safe. We have been discussing renting the main floors to Laki and her Mamma. Our home is already paid for and in a nice safe place. I wish to keep my Lair as my American home. I stand to inherit the businesses of our family, so I may be everywhere! Poor Carl!

When I come back in August, I will be taking on a full schedule of classes. I won't have DA here, and I will be very lonely, so I may as well do this. I am NOT looking forward to coming home alone. I don't know how I will manage but I will try.

One very interesting thing which happened was this: Remember I asked if I was rude, and one said I was rude for signing my posts in another forum, a political forum? I was nice, and the administrator GAVE me a vBulletin site he wasn't using and said to make it a nice place! This is a long story, but now I have an active website which is not in competition to DC or that political forum! It coincided well with "social media," which I am learning, and it's my project. I sent my prof an email and said, "Google this" and she did, and it was first on the list of Google! I received an A and no one else did anything like this! It's very nice website!

I didn't ever speak to anyone here of this until now. No members here are there. The administrator who gave me the website gave me permission to invite others from his other two websites, and we did. I want this to be known that I have not asked anyone here to be there, nor will I.

So I have been busy, and I'm sorry I wasn't here so much. DA is very fussy now and I feel so very badly for her. She is just tired and wishes to go home, I think. I think I'll feel better with Mamma here; at least maybe I can sleep a little bit more. DA has become very odd about what she will and won't eat, and I always fix her what she wishes. I yearn to cook more! But with Mamma here, I might.

I love you all, and I keep all of you in my prayers. When Mamma comes, I hope to have more time here with my precious friends! I will certainly work of this, yes?

With love,
~Cat

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Old 04-21-2014, 08:50 PM   #2
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There is one thing about DC I have in my journal:

"Never look upon this website when one is hungry." So very true! Ha!

With love,
~Cat
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Old 04-21-2014, 09:02 PM   #3
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(((Hugs Cat and DA)))
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Old 04-21-2014, 09:04 PM   #4
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Cat, you are experiencing the true rollercoaster ride that life offers. All our life events are what hone and polish us and mold us into the people we become.

I'm sorry to hear that DA is having a decline, but from your accounts she's had a very rich life, especially having you round to assist her. From your description it sounds as though she may be in the early stages of Alzheimer's Disease, which does affect her thinking, memory and behavior. This may explain her hitting you.

It's good that your mother is going to be there to help assess the situation. Lean on her and don't blame yourself for what is going on. And...don't forget, you have Carl to be part of your support system.

Your DC family is only a few keystrokes away.
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Old 04-21-2014, 10:44 PM   #5
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My thoughts exactly, but you put it in much better words than I could have, Katie.

Best wishes to you Cat, and do lean on your family. You have a lot on your plate, for being as young as you are.
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Old 04-22-2014, 12:02 AM   #6
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Is it in the evening when DA gets fussy and hits? I'm so sorry this has happened, but with her being able to go home, which is what she wants, maybe she will be less fussy. Holler at me in private if you have any questions about elder care, always happy to help.

Love you!
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Old 04-22-2014, 12:34 AM   #7
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Is it in the evening when DA gets fussy and hits? I'm so sorry this has happened, but with her being able to go home, which is what she wants, maybe she will be less fussy. Holler at me in private if you have any questions about elder care, always happy to help.

Love you!
Cat, if there is anyone who can give you the best advice on caring for DA it is the PrincessFiona60. Do turn to her if you have any questions of caring for DA. Caring for the elderly is her life's work. And she has the knowledge. She is a very loving, caring person and will help you as much as you need it.

Remember we all love you.
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Old 04-22-2014, 08:31 AM   #8
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Thank you, Addie!
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Old 04-23-2014, 01:53 AM   #9
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Thank you all so very much! I thank you all for understanding!

Yes, it is the evening when DA hits me. I'm afraid of her mental state. She also yells at me for the smallest of things, such as her tea not hot enough, although I make it the same every time. Sometimes she likes it, sometimes not. It is so confusing.

Katie, you're correct. And Addie, and all of you are so helpful and correct. I may ask my Ogress for help yet. This experience has made me realize to be even more extremely patient with her. She has had a wonderful life, and I think the Alzheimer's or the dementia has to be what is wrong.

I'm so glad I called my parents when this became very worrisome. Gwen stayed with DA while Mamma and I went out for dinner tonight at a nice place, and we just talked of this.

Mamma is calling her doctor tomorrow, and wants a mental health evaluation for DA. I suppose DA will be referred to a specialist, so we will see. Mamma told me to leave it to her, that she is here now and will take care of us both. Carl is so sweet, he also is willing to do anything to help us. Laki, of course, is the same as well.

We shall see. I'm worried of this to become a long road, perhaps, but a road we must take. Mamma said to start with her doctor, and we will see.

I thank you all so very much for your caring! I'll be certain to tell you all of how this progresses. This, I feel, may be very difficult for all of us.

I do know that I think I have the best Mamma and Papa in the world and I adore DA, no matter what. It's best to look at this as of learning and yet loving, yes?

Thank you all so very much! You all have lifted my heart.

With very much love and deep appreciation,
~Cat
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Old 04-23-2014, 02:32 AM   #10
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Hang in there Cat. I know this is hard for you. Just remember as you struggle with the changes now affecting DA that you have been a true blessing in her life. Hugs to you and the rest of your large "family", blood or not. You are all in my thoughts.
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Old 04-23-2014, 07:49 AM   #11
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Thank you all so very much! I thank you all for understanding!

Yes, it is the evening when DA hits me. I'm afraid of her mental state. She also yells at me for the smallest of things, such as her tea not hot enough, although I make it the same every time. Sometimes she likes it, sometimes not. It is so confusing.
Night time is the worst time for Dementia, especially for family. All of the day's happenings have befuddled poor DA's mind and she loses touch with reality. Have her nap for 30 minutes in the afternoon and this may help with this behavior. It's important that you understand she (Aunty Stella) is not angry or upset with you ~Cat. Her befuddlement scares her as much or more than it scares you. If she yells at you, ask her why she is upset. Don't argue, it just goes around in circles, what adult likes to be told they are thinking wrongly. If the tea is too hot, warm it in the microwave for her. Even 10 seconds in the mircowave will support her and realize you are helping. If she is hitting, make sure she is safe and leave her alone for ten minutes then try again, explaining what you are doing, allow her to do what she can and offer your assistance.

Just remember DA LOVES you, always has, always will. It's the dementia that makes her hit you or yell. I hope some of this helps.
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Old 04-23-2014, 12:38 PM   #12
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Cat, I am so sorry you are going through all these changes. Changes are a part of life, but that doesn't always make them easy to handle.

I remember having to deal with my Dad's dementia and PF and Alix were both great helps. I send big hugs to you and DA. You are a very special young woman to handle all that you do the way that you do.
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Old 04-23-2014, 01:26 PM   #13
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Cat, I am so sorry you are going through all these changes. Changes are a part of life, but that doesn't always make them easy to handle.

I remember having to deal with my Dad's dementia and PF and Alix were both great helps. I send big hugs to you and DA. You are a very special young woman to handle all that you do the way that you do.
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Old 04-23-2014, 02:14 PM   #14
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I hope you figure out situation with DA. Wish you well.
As far as your website. You do not have to invite us, though I do not know why wouldn't you. BUt at least you can tell us how to get there. I'd love to see it.
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Old 04-24-2014, 04:25 AM   #15
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Night time is the worst time for Dementia, especially for family. All of the day's happenings have befuddled poor DA's mind and she loses touch with reality. Have her nap for 30 minutes in the afternoon and this may help with this behavior. It's important that you understand she (Aunty Stella) is not angry or upset with you ~Cat. Her befuddlement scares her as much or more than it scares you. If she yells at you, ask her why she is upset. Don't argue, it just goes around in circles, what adult likes to be told they are thinking wrongly. If the tea is too hot, warm it in the microwave for her. Even 10 seconds in the mircowave will support her and realize you are helping. If she is hitting, make sure she is safe and leave her alone for ten minutes then try again, explaining what you are doing, allow her to do what she can and offer your assistance.

Just remember DA LOVES you, always has, always will. It's the dementia that makes her hit you or yell. I hope some of this helps.
Oh my! I see. Mamma said this as much as you, and she has encouraged DA for a nap and told me to lie with her today, and I rubbed her back until she fell to sleep. I do love DA!

DA has been nice since Mamma came, and I am so happy! But you are right, I'm not arguing, I never have, I just try to be so very kind to her, no matter what.

If she hits, I will do as you say.

I know she loves me, I love her to no end! DA is not herself because of dementia or something bad and Mamma is here to asses this and help, yes?

With love,
~Cat
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Old 04-24-2014, 04:36 AM   #16
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I hope you figure out situation with DA. Wish you well.
As far as your website. You do not have to invite us, though I do not know why wouldn't you. BUt at least you can tell us how to get there. I'd love to see it.
I am told one does not steal members from one website to another. This is unethical. I can't do this here. In the political forum, it is different, for I had a different set of circumstances for to be given of this website.

With love,
~Cat
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Old 04-24-2014, 04:40 AM   #17
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Cat, I am so sorry you are going through all these changes. Changes are a part of life, but that doesn't always make them easy to handle.

I remember having to deal with my Dad's dementia and PF and Alix were both great helps. I send big hugs to you and DA. You are a very special young woman to handle all that you do the way that you do.
Thank you so very much! You are so kind!

With love,
~Cat
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Old 04-24-2014, 08:19 AM   #18
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Oh my! I see. Mamma said this as much as you, and she has encouraged DA for a nap and told me to lie with her today, and I rubbed her back until she fell to sleep. I do love DA!

DA has been nice since Mamma came, and I am so happy! But you are right, I'm not arguing, I never have, I just try to be so very kind to her, no matter what.

If she hits, I will do as you say.

I know she loves me, I love her to no end! DA is not herself because of dementia or something bad and Mamma is here to asses this and help, yes?

With love,
~Cat
Have the doctor check for a Urinary Tract Infection, this can cause the behaviors, too.

I know you do your best, sometimes you need others to help out, you have done a marvelous job of keeping DA happy and at home.

I'm proud of you.!

Love, PF
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Old 04-24-2014, 08:35 AM   #19
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Have the doctor check for a Urinary Tract Infection, this can cause the behaviors, too.

I know you do your best, sometimes you need others to help out, you have done a marvelous job of keeping DA happy and at home.

I'm proud of you.!
Love, PF
We all are Cat. You have taken on the responsibilities of a job that often takes a team of professional health workers to do. And you are doing a great job.

With Mama Cat there with you, you will find it easier to concentrate on your finals which will be coming up shortly. Speak to a counselor and see if you can take them on line. That way, if it has been determined that you need to bring DA home to Romania earlier than planned, you will still be able to complete your school year on time.

Remember we all are pulling and praying for you and DA.

Love, Addie
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Old 05-06-2014, 01:25 AM   #20
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I thank all of you so very much!

There is now another change. Last week, we had sat down to have our dinner, and DA told Mamma to take my meal away from me, for I was bad. Mamma asked her how I was bad, and DA yelled at Mamma and said bad things of me and called me by my cousin's name.

My two cousins had come before me and they are terrible. They are so bad their trust funds have been revoked.

DA demanded her to take away my meal, and give it to Azia, my dog. I was hungry but I knew not to say anything. I hate to say this, but luckily DA is blind. Mamma took away my meal as she demanded, but said she was going to my lair to give it to Azia. Mamma whispered to follow her, and so Mamma took my meal and gave it to me in my lair so DA wouldn't see.

Mamma called Papa, and Uncle Nicu and his co-pilots arrived Saturday in his jet to take Mamma and DA home to Brasov. Mamma and DA left Sunday.

I am the owner of everything of DA now, and so Laki and her Mamma are moving in and renting the main house for very little. I have also a very nice stipend of DA's trust and so there is plenty for the property taxes and the extra utilities for the rest of my life. I am only charging them $200 a month, for this home is paid for.

I am keeping my Lair for my permanent American home with Carl. My Lair is as of a separate apartment in the basement, with two bedrooms. I don't know where life will take us.

Right now this house is so empty without DA. I don't know if I can do this, for tonight I feel so very sad and alone. But perhaps with Laki and her Mamma moving in this week, it will be better, yes?

I love you all, and I'm so sorry I was away of here. I miss all of you, but DA was failing and I needed the time with Mamma. My GPA has also dropped to 3.7 and I must fix this.

I'll make everything right, and I'm sorry I was away.

With very much love,
~Cat
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