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Old 10-05-2006, 04:28 PM   #1
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Thank you so much everyone at DC!!

For the last couple of days, some thoughts have been bouncing around inside my head. I’d like to share them with you because everyone I have met at DC has helped me in a way I couldn’t have imagined and I’m sure you wouldn’t either. Let me explain.

Last November two of my dearest, closest girlfriends died (Helen and Dean). They’d both been ill so their deaths were not unexpected. Just unwelcome. I felt bad for their families not because their mother/aunt/sister had died, but that their deaths happened at the threshold of the holiday season. I missed my friends because I always made it a point to make something special for them for Christmas and had already put the wheels in motion for their gifts when they died. I still have them in a box.

They were the kind of friends I called just about every day. I shared stories of our grandchildren with them, talked about recipes, community gossip, compared the books we were reading and wanted to read, discussed movies, told jokes, cried on each other’s shoulders. The stuff that good friends talk about together. When they died, I felt as though I was near the bottom of a great hole.

Then in March, another dear, dear girlfriend (Danie) died suddenly. One day she was here. The next day she was gone. Boom! Just like that. Massive heart attack. I felt like I’d been hit by a brick. And I felt like I was at the bottom of the big hole. As long as Danie was around I had someone to call on the phone and talk like I did with Helen and Dean. Plus, Danie was one of the funniest people I’d known and was always eager to share a bawdy joke or two. She was a real, as they say here, piece of work. She never met a stranger and everyone loved her. That was evidenced at her funeral when the funeral home was filled to capacity and had more people standing outside.

I’ve spent the last several month having “I’ll call (Helen, Dean, Danie) and tell her about my new recipe for …” moments. No more exchanging of books. No more popping in to each other’s kitchens for some iced tea and conversation. No more sharing plant cuttings. The void was there and, even though Buck is my best friend and we spend 24/7 together, my girlfriend friendship was different and he can’t fill it.

Then SharonT encouraged me to look into DiscussCooking. The site she and I had been members of for several years had turned into something akin to a brothel. Sad, too, because prior to the decline it was a first-class place.

Now, to my point. Thank you, everyone, for bringing me back to the top of the big hole and filling it with your friendship and camaraderie. I’ve only been here a short time but it feels comfortable and loving here. And I have so much fun. I’m stayin’! It feels so good to be here.


"As a girl I had zero interest in the stove." - Julia Child
This is real inspiration. Look what Julia became!
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Old 10-05-2006, 04:35 PM   #2
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The loss of good friends always leaves a void in your life. Enjoy your memories of them often.

I'm glad we could help fill the hole for you.

"If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe." -Carl Sagan
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Old 10-05-2006, 04:44 PM   #3
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Allow me to add an endorsement to Katie E's post. As her husband, I lived through this time of trial as an observer. I knew she had lost something valuable; something I was unable to replace. Girls have to do girl talk with girls. No matter how hard we guys may want to fill a void like that we just can't do it.
Since joining DC Katie's a changed woman. She has an extended family that is friendly and caring. Thanks to all of you for just being who you are. It's exactly what she needed. I got my Katie back. That's a good thing, Martha!

Buck (the guy who sleeps with Katie E.)
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Old 10-05-2006, 04:48 PM   #4
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Katie and Buck - I hope I speak for everyone (****, I'm gonna do it anyway) in saying that you guys are very welcome and have already boosted the enjoyment level of this site with your stories (that BBQ festival!) and good humor. We are all mostly friends who just haven't met yet.
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Old 10-05-2006, 04:59 PM   #5
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Old 10-05-2006, 05:01 PM   #6
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Old 10-05-2006, 05:03 PM   #7
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What nice things to say and certainly the way we all feel.
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Old 10-05-2006, 05:07 PM   #8
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Mudbug you can sure speak for me!

Katie, I am so glad the members here have been able to make your loss somewhat less painful. We are thrilled that both you and Buck have joined us and become part of the family!
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Old 10-05-2006, 05:11 PM   #9
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Katie, I have 4 high school girlfriends that I see 2 or 3 times a year and they are only a phone call away. One of them is ill with diabetes. I cannot imagine the loss of any of my golden girls. It brings a smile to my face to learn that we here at DC has helped you with your loss. We welcome you and Buck with open arms. Don't forget, I'm only a pm away if you need to talk.
With Warm Aloha, Linda
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Old 10-05-2006, 05:33 PM   #10
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no one, noting will take the place of your dear friends. But, I'm so glad you've found us and that this wonderful group I'm so proud of has made you welcome. You do know that you are now part of a great big family that cares and will always offer you a hand, a pat, a smile. And you will always beable to come here and know that you're loved. Your kind words make me feel once again that I've found that special place we all seek.
HEAVEN is Cade, Ethan,Carson, and Olivia,Alyssa,Gianna
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Old 10-05-2006, 05:46 PM   #11
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Katie, I have lost a lot of friends over the years. Several died in Viet Nam. One tripped out on LSD and flew out a 17th story window. A good guy buddy died of a heart attack at 28.
I lost my daughter, when she was 25, and all the older members of my family are gone except for one uncle.
I watched my best friend drink herself to death after her son died of a sawed-off shotgun blast to the head. Last January, my husband's best friend died at the age of 55 of liver cancer, thanks to his exposure to Agent Orange in Viet Nam.
And this spring, a dear young friend who was like a daughter to me was beaten to death with a hammer by some meth-crazed maniac.

It's so hard. But here's something a dear friend told me a couple years after my daughter passed. Something had brought the pain to the surface, and the tears started running down my cheeks. She took my face in her hands and said, "Jamie wouldn't WANT this!"

You will grieve for a while...it's just something you've got to do. But you must also go on living your own life, enjoying the memories of times you had together, and remembering that, as long as you have them in your heart, they are always with you.
We get by with a little help from our friends
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Old 10-05-2006, 05:46 PM   #12
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Katie E. I do really understand, One of my Best Friends and my Father passed on around and on Thanksgiving , My Brother passed away on Dec 23th 2004, My Mother went into the Hospital on Dec 25th and passed on Dec. 28th 1987. Please know I am always here to chat to and listen.
I learned a long time ago they all would want me to be strong and touch as many others as I can. Because of them and my Barbara, I have learned what true Love really is.
Remember we all are one big family and are here for each other. I really LOVE YOU all no matter where you came from or who you are or where you live.
When I see you I will give you that hug I owe you and Buck. We Love you both James
If you need a smile, take mine, I'll make a new one.
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Old 10-05-2006, 05:48 PM   #13
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Katie E and Buck,

I just want to add that it was really touching to hear from both of you about your experiences on this sad journey for Katie. I am so glad to hear you found happiness here on DC. Glad we could help. Alot of people brag about this site, and there is a reason for that! So many nice people, real people that are always nice and very giving.

Very nice to meet you both
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Old 10-05-2006, 06:12 PM   #14
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I am so sorry for your losses; I do know exactly how it feels to turn to say some mundane thing to your best friend--Hey, look at this!--and realize you can't do that any more. I am quite new here, but I also can feel how special this group at DC is. When you find good, caring people, you grab on and hold fast. I am glad that you are able to come here and, to a degree, fill the void that tragedy has left in your life. I wish you all the best.

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Old 10-05-2006, 06:17 PM   #15
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I'm sorry for all your losses, and I'm glad you found us... and I'm glad I found 'us', too.

So many good ideas and recipies, not to mention getting to the know the personalities and characters on board.
Dogs have owners ~ Cats have staff.
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Old 10-05-2006, 06:17 PM   #16
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Thank you for sharing - all of you. Although the world can be filled with pain, it's amazing how a group of 'cyber friends' can give you a reason to get up in the morning and fill your day with laughs and smiles.
Please spay and neuter your pets. The Animal Rescue Site
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Old 10-05-2006, 06:26 PM   #17
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KatieE, and others who have posted, such unspeakable sadness happens in this world, no-one can measure it. The best we can do is what we do do for each other, and thank God for that. It lifts my spirits to read this thread, and be reminded how important each one of us is to others. I didn't realise Katie and Buck were H & W. How lovely.
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Old 10-05-2006, 06:42 PM   #18
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(((Katie))) As has been said before you never replace those you have lost but, you can truly still love- I know I'm not telling you anything you don't already know.I'm sure you also know rthat we never really "lose" a person as long as we keep their memories alive they are always with us.I'm sorry you have had so many loses in such short time.I lost my son, my mother in law and my nephew in a two year span-it's not easy but, our spirits do go on.
I am sorry that I have offered you and Buck my welcome to DC sooner .This is the best place on the net.It's always like being home-there is so much love ,caring and sharing here. I hope you already feel like one of the family.Love and energy,Vicki
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Old 10-05-2006, 06:54 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by mudbug
Katie and Buck - I hope I speak for everyone (****, I'm gonna do it anyway) in saying that you guys are very welcome and have already boosted the enjoyment level of this site with your stories (that BBQ festival!) and good humor. We are all mostly friends who just haven't met yet.
Mudbug also speaks for me.
Katie, I have twice reviewed all your posts so as not to miss out on any of your wisdom and experience.
“Bad men need nothing more to compass their ends, than that good men should look on and do nothing.” John Stuart Mill, 1867.
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Old 10-05-2006, 07:43 PM   #20
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I'm glad that you have enjoyed this place as much as I do!! I'm also glad that you have decided to stay!!

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