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Old 07-01-2007, 01:15 AM   #1
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Things Dogs Should Remember

Things Dogs Should Remember
Woof! I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.

I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.

I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.

I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.

I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.

I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.

I will not throw up in the car.

I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.

I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.

Kitty box crunchies are not food.

I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.

The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.

I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.

When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.

We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.

I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.

The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.

My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car registration.

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Old 07-01-2007, 01:20 AM   #2
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I have printed these out and will give them to Gidgett. I'm certain she reads - words - she certainly reads my mind!
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Old 07-01-2007, 04:16 AM   #3
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LOL! Nice work Tat!
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Old 07-01-2007, 07:20 AM   #4
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I think Tat has been hanging around MY place when I am at work!!!
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Old 07-01-2007, 08:51 AM   #5
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Here's another one...added from experience:

I will not roll in the sawdust from the chainsaw after I've had a bath and Mommy and Daddy haven't toweled me off completely.

Our bichon did this once. What a mess!
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Old 07-01-2007, 09:11 AM   #6
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And another one:
I will not go to the state DOT building across the road and roll in the pile of roadkill they've picked up off the highway. Nor will I bring souveniers from said pile home and sneak them in the house.
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Old 07-01-2007, 09:17 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Constance
And another one:
I will not go to the state DOT building across the road and roll in the pile of roadkill they've picked up off the highway. Nor will I bring souveniers from said pile home and sneak them in the house.
Ewwwwww! Connie, I'll take sawdust any day.
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Old 07-01-2007, 10:23 AM   #8
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I wish my dogs could figure out this one:

I will not run thru the poison ivy and then go home and rub against my human.
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Old 07-01-2007, 10:45 AM   #9
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ROFL - I don't have any to add - I think all was covered already for us!
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Old 07-01-2007, 10:51 AM   #10
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I love these!!! Only if my boys could read!!!
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Old 07-01-2007, 09:53 PM   #11
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I wish Rocky would rememeber other people do live on this street instead of just us
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Old 07-03-2007, 08:17 AM   #12
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Another ONE?

thanks TATTRAT, evidently you have house full of animals too? One that i do not wish on any one is chasing a skunk. Not only is it scary but getting rid of that smell is a real challenge. Even more so when you get sprayed. Worse than garlic. And always unexpected.
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Old 07-03-2007, 10:20 AM   #13
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Oh, my...I forgot about skunk. Big big furry old Maggie Dog got a little too friendly with a skunk when she was a young dog. I was busy in the greenhouse, but did smell a faint skunky odor everytime she passed by, and figured it was just a distant encounter.
But when I got her out on the deck that evening to bathe her, I was in for a rude surprise. The minute the water hit her fur, that stench descended on us.

Kim was just getting home from work, and when he rounded the corner of the house, he stopped in his tracks and started walking backwards. By the time I got done with Maggie, I smelled just like her, but a shower and plenty of white vinegar did the trick. Sorta.
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Old 07-03-2007, 02:20 PM   #14
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Figured

Quote:
Originally Posted by Constance
Oh, my...I forgot about skunk. Big big furry old Maggie Dog got a little too friendly with a skunk when she was a young dog. I was busy in the greenhouse, but did smell a faint skunky odor everytime she passed by, and figured it was just a distant encounter.
But when I got her out on the deck that evening to bathe her, I was in for a rude surprise. The minute the water hit her fur, that stench descended on us.

Kim was just getting home from work, and when he rounded the corner of the house, he stopped in his tracks and started walking backwards. By the time I got done with Maggie, I smelled just like her, but a shower and plenty of white vinegar did the trick. Sorta.
Constance, I figured you would have had this experience. Once you had it you don't forget it very quick. Just hope it doesn't happen again too soon. Guy that runs where I do, said he was always running in early morning before it got daylight. That is until he met up with a skunk and sure enough once wasn't good enough had to go through it again! This guy hasn't got life too easy. He has only one arm so that makes me want to hunt the skunk myself and really nail him with something. Like a shotgun. I don't have clue what purpose those things have anyway.

The vet told me as long as the stuff didn't get in the dogs eyes it was okay. Just the odor is really powerful. The dog didn't deserve that.
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