Upset Right Now...

[Trip]

I have lost 5 dogs in the last 27 years. I know what you are going through. It sucks. Glad you brought this to the forum. Give your self some time to grieve and then get yourself another kitten. I prefer puppies and parrots. My wife gave me a pup on a fathers day 6 months after one of my dogs died 9 years ago and I cried......thinking about my last dog. I have two nine year old dogs. They are having some health issues now and I know I will end up putting them down in the near future. Ughhh It sucks!

LOL I don't think I need another pet for a long time, until last night had 4 cats and 2 dogs, all rescues. My sister just moved in too, bringing her puppy who is my puppies sister with her... these were from a puppy mill that got shut down. I live in a regular petting zoo, alot of the neighbourhood kids like to visit just to visit the animals because I live across from low income housing who doesn't allow pets. I don't mind since the animals get attention lavished on them while I watch to make sure contact is all good, and don't have any kids in here that mistreat them. Only had to ban one kid so far after 2 warnings, oddly enough with the cat that just passed away. She was very much a "I want attention when I want it, when I don't leave me be" and he didn't respect her space and tried to chase her down so he wasn't allowed back after he was warned (he's 10, old enough to know better, it's not like there weren't other animals around) and repeated the behaviour. I also volunteer at the SPCA so see lots of animals, I don't want to replace her, don't think I could. Won't say I won't ever get another cat but not for a long while.

 

[expatgirl]

Dear Trip,

This thread brings tears to my eyes as we're real animal lovers--especially cats--I came home one afternoon to find my beloved Tiffany (a silver chinchilla Persian rescued from a flea-feasting free for all he** hole- in Egypt--the vet said that if another month had gone by she would have been sucked dry) stretched out dead on the lawn. She was 10 years old and had lived a wonderful life---all she wanted was to sit in your lap and be petted. She loved our garden and loved being adored which she was. Had it not been for me stopping by that horrible "pet shop" she would have lived for only 3 months instead of the 10 years that we gave her. You gave your cat all the love that you possibly could-no animal could ever ask more of their owner. Unlike humans I don't think that animals dwell over "What if??" Our human species beat ourselves with the guilt words "would, should, could, why, what if, etc"---these guys don't---their concerns are when are the owners coming home and when am I'm going to be fed, when am I going to be petted, etc.. They are here to be loved and taken care of-----NOT to be apologized to. If you happen to have a yard, buy a plant and or a cat statuary and make a little memorial to her. I have a girl pushing a wheelbarrow plant holder in my front beds which reminds me of my grandmother who LOVED gardening. If you're in an apartment then buy a plant in her memory. When you feel up to it, you then should consider getting another cat. It's okay to grieve--just don't beat yourself up with guilt as well-----maybe your vet was having a bad day. Glad that you posted.

 

[silentmeow]

Trip, I'm sorry for your loss. Remember that we do our best to take care of those that depend upon us. I had a similar situation and the vet actually made me feel quilty because I stopped the tests and such when the cost hit $800.00. I had her put down gently while she was in my arms. I can still see her trusting blue eyes. Another thought, I lost two of my beauties because the new neighbors didn't like bugs, (we live in the country) so they sprayed their lawn and trees and flowers and my cats got tumors. No one for sure can pinpoint the reason. You gave her a home with love, that makes you a special person. Don't tear yourself apart with guilt.

 

[In the Kitchen]

Time

Must be time of year for sorrow. Had to put our one dog down as diabetes seemed to affect her back legs and her daily potty habits. After almost 6 months of having to keep her from coming inside because of these accidents, I couldn't take it when I saw her trying to catch a rabbit and dragging her legs. I thought why is she living anymore. She knew it wasn't her fault what was happening and the durn weather was so hot I let her sleep inside at night. She was so grateful. I am really down down about her absence. She had such a young spirit. Even going to the vet she started crying like she was happy to be going someplace. You don't think that broke my heart. I know the vet so well and knew he wanted me to let him be alone w/her. The other two seem okay but always going in yard thinking she is out there. I wasn't going to mention it until I read your comments and share the same deep pain you must have. My son showed no emotion and when I asked him if he liked the dog? He said she had good life. All you can do is think of the time you shared w/her. The other vet in the same office advised me to put her down when they first took test and found out diabetes. I resent him to this day. The regular vet has been taking care of all my dogs for almost 30 years. He doesn't like to have to do it but he knows the animal doesn't want to live w/no future. She never would get better. Doctor told me just have to work w/how the diabetes affects her. Other dog got more insulin and has had diabetes for almost 7 years now. She was sister to the one that was put down.

Thanks for taking time to share w/us. Most of us are animal lovers some more so than the rest. Be happy that you have other lives around you. I am glad you watch the kids w/your pets. Never ever take your eyes off them. Things can happen so fast no matter how well you mean. This is bad day for me. That void is not soothed w/ anything but time. Don't you think we will get to see them again? I do. I know she will remember me cause I loved her so much and she loved me too. People always disappoint me like your doctor but my animals give me unconditional love. I just wonder why the guy is an animal doctor. Sure is in wrong place. So calleous and insensitive. Even if I smell bad and don't look good.

Be good to yourself. You know she would want you to. She doesn't fault you for what happened. If only they could talk and tell you how they felt.

 

[jpmcgrew]

Im so sorry for your loss Im weeping also because that kind of pain is all too real and almost unbearable.I cant say anything more then what everyone else has said.There is no worse feeling then losing a pet.
Dont feel guilty it was not your fault.Like I always say you fall in love with them and then thay break your heart.But it's more courageous to let them go before they suffer too much.Last summer I lost my redbone totally unexpected.
But think of this, first of all you saved her from a sure death when you found her and gave her a wonderful life.If you get another rescue pet you are doing them the biggest favor of all,first you literally save their lives and then give them the best life ever no matter how long they live, it's all they could wish for and thats your greatest gift to them and in return they love you forever.

 

[Trip]

Thanks all for the chin ups... still in a realllllly less then pleasant mood but at least not crying at the drop of a hat anymore... started looking though some pics of her (this is her as my avatar), she like to crawl into beds and blankets, I actually had a painting done using my avatar pic... miss her like crazy, she was my alarm clock lol but I'm trying to be reasonable about the guilt issue. Thanks for all those who tried to help.

 

[expatgirl]

What a cutie!!!!!!!!!!!! Glad to hear that you're slowly coming to terms---sometimes when I sit down at the computer I miss my Tiffany--she would always climb into my lap and my job was to pet her---emailing and googling came second. Love comes in so many different ways----furry or not. Hang in there, Trip.

 

[Half Baked]

Trip, we had to have our beloved dog, Skeeter, put down at 4:45 on Friday. My heart is absolutely broken. I am going through a tough time so I can definately idenify with your pain.

I'm sorry but I'd change vets, also. During the trauma of holding my Skeeter as he eased into his heaven, had the vet begun to give me a lecture, I would have choked him, literally.

My heart aches for you. Time eases the pain but she'll live in your heart forever.

She's beautiful.

 

[expatgirl]

Dear Half-Baked,

I'm so sorry to hear of Skeeter's loss---my heart really goes out to you, too.

 

[Half Baked]

Thank you very much. It's a sad time at our house but he is in a better world.

Trip and In the Kitchen, I'm so sorry for you both.

 

[Trip]

I'm sorry to hear about your pet... I can definately relate to the pain, and I don't wish it on anyone. As for the vet, he's not my usual one, but one at the clinic, it was an emergency so didn't want to wait until the next day as the tumor was actually bleeding. When I called and asked if I could come in they though she had scrapped with one of my other cats and that it was probibly abcess.

 

[Snoop Puss]

Hello Trip. I had to have one of my cats put down by the vet a few months ago. I too felt somehow to blame for not doing something earlier but the problem was not evident in its early stages. Like you, I too took my cat in when she was far too small to survive on her own after the death of her mother.

Cats taken in like this usually bond very closely to humans, but I also recognise that being without their mother's milk at such a young age - and in the case of my cat, starving for ten days before I came across her (I knew the mother [a stray in the neighbourhood] and found her dead but had no idea where the kittens were) - gives them a bad start in life. I've taken in a few cats like this in my life and they've all had health problems or died young. But they were/are affectionate companions and I don't regret taking any of them in.

The other thing I'd say is that cats are very tolerant of pain. When they start to let you know or it becomes evident that something is wrong, by that stage it's often very serious. You shouldn't blame yourself and neither should the vet. And you can disregard the vet's words: they would know nothing of your cat's circumstances nor your relationship with her.

Trip, you did your cat a tremendous favour by taking her in and I'm sure she enjoyed her life with you.

 

[DaCook]

Funny thing. In humans they say that the earlier you have children and breast feed, the less chance of risk cancer there is. I know this because I have lost some to breast cancer, but also have a survivor in my family. Can't see that it should be so much different with critters.

 

[Lynan]

You musn't feel guilty Trip...and as Andy M and others have said, change your vet. What a poor excuse for an animal healer he is.
It is absolutely NOT your fault that this happened to your kitty anymore than if you had discovered a breast lump on yourself even with faithful checking. It happens...
I feel your pain at having lost a precious friend and that pain is as real as if it were a human friend that had passed.

(((((((((hugs)))))))))

 

[Trip]

Hello Trip. I had to have one of my cats put down by the vet a few months ago. I too felt somehow to blame for not doing something earlier but the problem was not evident in its early stages. Like you, I too took my cat in when she was far too small to survive on her own after the death of her mother.

Cats taken in like this usually bond very closely to humans, but I also recognise that being without their mother's milk at such a young age - and in the case of my cat, starving for ten days before I came across her (I knew the mother [a stray in the neighbourhood] and found her dead but had no idea where the kittens were) - gives them a bad start in life. I've taken in a few cats like this in my life and they've all had health problems or died young. But they were/are affectionate companions and I don't regret taking any of them in.

The other thing I'd say is that cats are very tolerant of pain. When they start to let you know or it becomes evident that something is wrong, by that stage it's often very serious. You shouldn't blame yourself and neither should the vet. And you can disregard the vet's words: they would know nothing of your cat's circumstances nor your relationship with her.

Trip, you did your cat a tremendous favour by taking her in and I'm sure she enjoyed her life with you.

Oddly enough except she was very sensitive to changes in her diet, she was probibly what would be considered an extremely healthy cat... That's prob why this has hit soooo hard as I didn't even see it coming.
Last year I had paintings done of all my pets and haven't framed them yet, so am hoping to do that soon. I'm also hoping in the new year to invest in pet health insurance, that way I never have to make this choice again, if they think there is even a minute chance that surgery may help, I'll get it... I've been putting off the insurance as its expensive but not anymore.

 

[Claire]

I am so sorry for your loss, and very sorry that you have a vet who is that thoughtless. Please change vets. We can't always afford or want to take our pets in for the expensive and time-consuming care the vets think they need (in order for the vet to be wealthy). Don't get me wrong, I love my vet, but she knows the limitations, and when I had to put my JR 16 year old dog down, she'd diagnosed the problem and agreed with our choices right to the day I got my husband to agree to putting her down (a day later than I'd have done it). You cannot second guess these decisions and to me it is best to leave a vet who thinks you should. Having a beloved companion die is difficult enough without going through that.

 

[fluteplayer]

Trip, as I write I keep wiping my eyes so I can see the keyboard. I am sorry for your loss and Skeeter's too. You can never blame yourself for not knowing or having been too late. Over 2 years ago my beautiful 6yr. old German Shepherd Koko(short for Kokopelli) got a bump on her front leg and the minute we noticed she was at the vet. They told us she had bone cancer. I never heard of shepherds or any other dogs getting bone cancer.
I knew abut parvo and hip displasia etc. but never cancer. The vet said if we did nothing she would be gone in 2 months and I would be very painful and her leg could break at any time cuz it would be so brittle. So we spent over $4000 to have it amputated and give her Chemo and best odds she could live maybe 6 more years. After she first recovered it was like she had never even had 4 legs. She could do Everything as before even frisbee! We we very lucky to have her 3 more months. She had a stroke and couldn't use any of her legs.
Our vet came to my house and said he could do nothing. We held her as he gave her the shot and watched her beautiful brown eyes close. She is with me as we buried her in the back yard next to the German Shepherd Pepper ,who was 15 when the same vet came to the house to put her down.
along with my 2 rabbits and my Iguana. We have pet memorials or special plants for them in the yard. My vet is the most wonderful vet alive! He held her with us and cried like a baby with me and my husband and some dear friends. The vets office sent us a sympathy card and never billed us for any of that awful time. I wish you could know my vet as he would definitely have helped you thru this in the right way. our house was very empty and sad as we had no other pets.(We don't have kids) I could not take the silence and my house almost became dog-hair free. We have 2 beautiful 2yr old German Shepherds today named Cagney and Lacey. Every time I look at our family picture of my husband and I and Koko it hurts still, some days more than others. Time does heal all wounds its just a long road going.

Take care and kiss all your other fur children for me.

 

[jpmcgrew]

Wow!Flute and Trip that was really sad.This site is amazing not only do we have a passion for food but we are all the greatest of animal lovers.We all have had our losses but as long as we do everything we can to make our little creatures happy that is the greatest gift we can give no matter how long they are here.That does not mean it is any easier it never isThats the best we can do even though we want to do more.My 3 dogs and 2 cats are all rescues and spoiled to no end.Yet I can not control when they get really ill.If it's really bad it is better to let them go before they suffer too much and that is a really hard thing to do.I hate loosing a pet and have not forgotten any of them and always say I will not get another one but then I think I have an opening here so when the next one comes across thats it, I will take it in.I dont actively try to replace them but it seems certain ones cross your path and you get a gut feeling so you take them home thinking l will find them a home and yet what better home than yours.So you kinda try to find them a home and yet for me but the more time you spend with them how can you send them off to some place when you are already have already bonded with them?
I dont know what I would do if I had to make a choice of spending alot of money I dont have to save a pet for a few more months.
Sometimes it's a matter of prolonging the enevitable because WE dont want to lose our friends and be so incrediably broken hearted.
Any way the bottom line is give them the best most fun life and all the love they deserve and all the toys and treats they can handle,

 

[kitchenelf]

Awwwwwwwwww Trip!!!! I'm so sorry. I had to put one of my cats to sleep last year - wept like a baby but there really wasn't another choice. It's not your fault at all. Things happen in life and that's just the way it is. Don't let anyone blame you EVER for what happened. It's a very difficult thing when we know our animals are helpless and someone makes it our fault because we didn't just KNOW. Well, we can't just know. We will NEVER just know. It's hard and difficult to come to terms with but you just have to feel good in loving your animal and making it a part of your life. It had a better life with you and that IS all we can do. I lost two cats last year; one my son "found" in the bathroom - we had been gone for a couple of days - talk about feeling guilty but really, how could I have done anything different? How could I have done anything different for the one with a tumor on its lungs. We just can't do anything different. We love them while they are here and we miss them terribly when they are gone.

Hugs to you and

And this is for you and anyone else - you post anything anywhere you want when you are upset around here - the wonderful people here who watch after the site will find the right place for it and everyone will be redirected to that place. ANYPLACE here is a good place to post when you need a few friends to surround you.

 

[lindatooo]

Cancer is not your fault. I have a DF with stage 4 Ovarian cancer and I can tell you pets suffer no less from the treatments (chemo - etc) than humans except they can't understand why they are so miserable and don't understand "it will get better".

As far as spaying early - we had a Dobie spayed before her first heat and she ended up with bladder weakness (she leaked when she slept, poor thing) and had to take birth control pills and the vet said that was caused by early spaying!

The only downside to having these wonderful creatures is how much it hurts when we have to let them go - but you did the right thing. She will be waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge.

Hugs and sympathy,